Revolutionising the art of kebab carving!
March 31, 2010 7:31 AM Subscribe
Dönermania! While US citizens know the Döner under its Greek name "gyros", Canadians refer to it as donair. And in its country of birth, Germany, it is much more than late night drunk fodder: it is breakfast, lunch and solid dinner rollled into one. "The döner kebab trade may be worth 2.5 billion euros in Germany, but before last weekend, Germany's favorite fast food had never been honored with its own convention", reports Der Spiegel. " The star of the show? A remote-controlled döner robot."
Indeed, Cypriot businessman Ahmet Kalyoncu caused a sensation at the world's first Döner trade fair (English description) that took place a few days ago in Berlin. His Doner Robotu automates the art of Döner carving with the aid of a digital camera.
The location for the Döga trade fair was well chosen: The döner's birthplace is Berlin, where it's inventor, Turkish immigrant Mahmut Aygün died only last year.
Indeed, Cypriot businessman Ahmet Kalyoncu caused a sensation at the world's first Döner trade fair (English description) that took place a few days ago in Berlin. His Doner Robotu automates the art of Döner carving with the aid of a digital camera.
The location for the Döga trade fair was well chosen: The döner's birthplace is Berlin, where it's inventor, Turkish immigrant Mahmut Aygün died only last year.
...Germany's first Döner trade fair, that is, Pardon my grandiloquence.
posted by Omnomnom at 7:34 AM on March 31, 2010
posted by Omnomnom at 7:34 AM on March 31, 2010
it is much more than late night drunk fodder
I lived in Germany for a while, and can attest to the falsity of this claim. =)
Just kidding. Sort of.
posted by King Bee at 7:34 AM on March 31, 2010
I lived in Germany for a while, and can attest to the falsity of this claim. =)
Just kidding. Sort of.
posted by King Bee at 7:34 AM on March 31, 2010
It's known as a "dogger" kebab in my circles. This is not a compliment.
posted by MuffinMan at 7:35 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by MuffinMan at 7:35 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]
Haben Sie das gelesen: Jede dritte Dönerbude ist versifft. Ich muss sagen, da hat sich viel verbessert in den letzten Jahren.
posted by I_pity_the_fool at 7:36 AM on March 31, 2010
posted by I_pity_the_fool at 7:36 AM on March 31, 2010
The name of this food item always strikes me as insensitive.
posted by DU at 7:36 AM on March 31, 2010 [5 favorites]
posted by DU at 7:36 AM on March 31, 2010 [5 favorites]
Insensitive, DU, or delicious?
posted by Faint of Butt at 7:42 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by Faint of Butt at 7:42 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]
I currently live in Berlin, and always keep a todo list around. It almost always includes the entry "Eat More Döner".
You've got the prefab, purely uniform, high-breadcrumb content ubiquitous Döner. Actually not bad, but it's low quality, and is often served as a Döner-Box - ie, Döner meat on french fries.
You've got the cheapo chicken Döner that grew in popularity during the Mad Cow scare. These are disgusting.
But then you have the holy grail, that cinammon-flavoured, hand-made vertical spit of beef (sometimes calf too) meat, with a huge thing of fat on the top that slowly melts and runs down the whole thing. You can tell that the owners of the shop have purchased the meat, and then assembled the Döner piece by piece in the shop. These ones always have a puddle of dripping-soup collecting on the tray below. It looks nasty, but it is a sgin of the real deal.
Oh, and let us not forget that adorable decorative tomato on the top.
But my gods, I simply cannot believe how many Döner places there are in this city. Every couple of blocks, you get a cluster of four-to-six of them. They are absolutely everywhere. At Ostbahnhof train station, there's donair shop inside the building, one outside the building, and then two across the street facing the building, and then another one around the corner but still within sight of the building. It's not even a busy station!
posted by molecicco at 7:46 AM on March 31, 2010 [3 favorites]
You've got the prefab, purely uniform, high-breadcrumb content ubiquitous Döner. Actually not bad, but it's low quality, and is often served as a Döner-Box - ie, Döner meat on french fries.
You've got the cheapo chicken Döner that grew in popularity during the Mad Cow scare. These are disgusting.
But then you have the holy grail, that cinammon-flavoured, hand-made vertical spit of beef (sometimes calf too) meat, with a huge thing of fat on the top that slowly melts and runs down the whole thing. You can tell that the owners of the shop have purchased the meat, and then assembled the Döner piece by piece in the shop. These ones always have a puddle of dripping-soup collecting on the tray below. It looks nasty, but it is a sgin of the real deal.
Oh, and let us not forget that adorable decorative tomato on the top.
But my gods, I simply cannot believe how many Döner places there are in this city. Every couple of blocks, you get a cluster of four-to-six of them. They are absolutely everywhere. At Ostbahnhof train station, there's donair shop inside the building, one outside the building, and then two across the street facing the building, and then another one around the corner but still within sight of the building. It's not even a busy station!
posted by molecicco at 7:46 AM on March 31, 2010 [3 favorites]
I remember enjoying a doner with some mates while on holiday a year or so after university. We sat and ate them in the park before heading off to a nightclub. We'd had quite a few already, and I remember feeling the doner fat dribbling through my fingers from a split in the pitta bread.
Fast forward to later in the club, properly pissed now, and giving myself one of those 'hey, good lookin' looks in the mirror in the mens room. But not being so pissed that I didn't realise that the hair-gel effect that had sculpted my hair was provided by copious amounts of the same kebab fat.
Didn't pull that night.
Had a lovely one sat in the gutter in the Arab quarter in Paris not so long ago, with my brother. Again, pissed enough not to have noticed that they'd washed the street. Until after we'd sat down.
I realised long ago that if I was drunk enough to want one, I was drunk enough to have left classiness behind several hours ago. But hey.
posted by dowcrag at 7:46 AM on March 31, 2010 [2 favorites]
Fast forward to later in the club, properly pissed now, and giving myself one of those 'hey, good lookin' looks in the mirror in the mens room. But not being so pissed that I didn't realise that the hair-gel effect that had sculpted my hair was provided by copious amounts of the same kebab fat.
Didn't pull that night.
Had a lovely one sat in the gutter in the Arab quarter in Paris not so long ago, with my brother. Again, pissed enough not to have noticed that they'd washed the street. Until after we'd sat down.
I realised long ago that if I was drunk enough to want one, I was drunk enough to have left classiness behind several hours ago. But hey.
posted by dowcrag at 7:46 AM on March 31, 2010 [2 favorites]
Yes, there's nothing better for strengthing the digestive tract than consuming an animal product that is warmed, then cooled, then warmed, then cooled, then warmed, then cooled, then warmed, then cooled, then warmed, then cooled, then warmed, then cooled, then warmed, then cooled, then warmed, then cooled, then warmed, then cooled, then warmed, then cooled, then warmed, then cooled, then warmed, then cooled, then warmed, then cooled.
Hold me back.
posted by fish tick at 7:47 AM on March 31, 2010 [3 favorites]
Hold me back.
posted by fish tick at 7:47 AM on March 31, 2010 [3 favorites]
I can't understand why no one came to my Döner party last week.
I would come to a Döner party.
posted by molecicco at 7:49 AM on March 31, 2010
I would come to a Döner party.
posted by molecicco at 7:49 AM on March 31, 2010
That a Turk invented it is no surprise, but I had no idea it was so big in Germany. Do they also have the gigantic rotating meat cones at Döner joints in Germany, a la the Greek places in the US?
posted by ignignokt at 7:57 AM on March 31, 2010
posted by ignignokt at 7:57 AM on March 31, 2010
iskender döner / alexander turner
posted by nathancaswell at 7:57 AM on March 31, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by nathancaswell at 7:57 AM on March 31, 2010 [2 favorites]
These are all well & good, of course, but personally, I think more should be made of the al pastor.
But god help you if I see cheese on mine. I will burn your cities to the ground.
posted by aramaic at 7:58 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]
But god help you if I see cheese on mine. I will burn your cities to the ground.
posted by aramaic at 7:58 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]
Döner != Gyros! Not even remotely. Partly it's the sauce, but mostly it's the bread. Döner is served in delicious soft white bread, Gyros in nasty stale pita.
Also, Gyros are available everywhere, but there's no Döner in the Minneapolis/St Paul area (prove me wrong. Please, please metafilter, prove me wrong!)
The best part of Döner is how hard that "ö" is to pronounce correctly as an American. Nothing makes Germans happier than correcting someone's pronunciation, so getting Döner with your German colleagues is pure heaven for them, and delicious for you both.
posted by bonecrusher at 8:00 AM on March 31, 2010 [3 favorites]
Also, Gyros are available everywhere, but there's no Döner in the Minneapolis/St Paul area (prove me wrong. Please, please metafilter, prove me wrong!)
The best part of Döner is how hard that "ö" is to pronounce correctly as an American. Nothing makes Germans happier than correcting someone's pronunciation, so getting Döner with your German colleagues is pure heaven for them, and delicious for you both.
posted by bonecrusher at 8:00 AM on March 31, 2010 [3 favorites]
That a Turk invented it is no surprise, but I had no idea it was so big in Germany. Do they also have the gigantic rotating meat cones at Döner joints in Germany, a la the Greek places in the US?
I think you are referring to the pre-fab kind, like this?
Partly it's the sauce, but mostly it's the bread. Döner is served in delicious soft white bread, Gyros in nasty stale pita.
Yes! The Döner triangle bread with sesame seeds is nice. You can also get a Dürum Düner, which comes in a large pita type flat bread. Also, Döner normally comes with shredded red cabbage, and I think a gyro normally has lettuce, no?
posted by molecicco at 8:05 AM on March 31, 2010
I think you are referring to the pre-fab kind, like this?
Partly it's the sauce, but mostly it's the bread. Döner is served in delicious soft white bread, Gyros in nasty stale pita.
Yes! The Döner triangle bread with sesame seeds is nice. You can also get a Dürum Düner, which comes in a large pita type flat bread. Also, Döner normally comes with shredded red cabbage, and I think a gyro normally has lettuce, no?
posted by molecicco at 8:05 AM on March 31, 2010
Wasn't doner the stuff discovered in the warehouse years past edible and still being sold? I recall my German brother-in-law being beside himself over the issue.
posted by incessant at 8:07 AM on March 31, 2010
posted by incessant at 8:07 AM on March 31, 2010
Döner != Gyros!
Döner = Turkish, Gyros = Greek, no? Two different ways or preparing similarly cooked meat.
posted by nathancaswell at 8:08 AM on March 31, 2010
Döner = Turkish, Gyros = Greek, no? Two different ways or preparing similarly cooked meat.
posted by nathancaswell at 8:08 AM on March 31, 2010
I would get doner kebabs all the time when studying in France, it was easily the most common street food, yet when we went to Paris suddenly it was nothing but fakey crepe stands everywhere and you had to go to the residential areas to get anything else.
posted by Solon and Thanks at 8:09 AM on March 31, 2010
posted by Solon and Thanks at 8:09 AM on March 31, 2010
"Canada" is too sweeping. In Montreal it isn't called donair, it's usually called gyros (in Greek places) and shawarma (in Lebanese places). A few Greek places have something called doner, but it isn't spelled "donair" here.
These things are so regional. Wikipedia even has a whole entry on Montreal's misapprehension over shish taouk.
posted by zadcat at 8:10 AM on March 31, 2010
These things are so regional. Wikipedia even has a whole entry on Montreal's misapprehension over shish taouk.
posted by zadcat at 8:10 AM on March 31, 2010
When I went to Munich a few years back with some friends, I believe döner was the first thing we ate in country and the last thing we ate before leaving. The last one was a train-station deal, nothing memorable really, but that first one was from a shop that was the only thing open near where our starving half-dozen had decamped, on a Sunday morning I think which it turns out is when basically nothing is open.
The phenomenon of liking food more than it deserves because of circumstances is nothing new to me, and we knew even then I think that it was our stomachs and not our palettes that was driving the oh-god-yes response to the döner kebabs we all wolfed down while trading non-existent German for broken English with the shop owner in the morning quiet, but I will never, ever forget that meal, and smile every time I see a döner shop in the Portland area now.
posted by cortex at 8:10 AM on March 31, 2010 [3 favorites]
The phenomenon of liking food more than it deserves because of circumstances is nothing new to me, and we knew even then I think that it was our stomachs and not our palettes that was driving the oh-god-yes response to the döner kebabs we all wolfed down while trading non-existent German for broken English with the shop owner in the morning quiet, but I will never, ever forget that meal, and smile every time I see a döner shop in the Portland area now.
posted by cortex at 8:10 AM on March 31, 2010 [3 favorites]
it is much more than late night drunk fodder: it is breakfast, lunch and solid dinner rollled into one
For a moment I thought you were talking about Currywurst.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 8:10 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]
For a moment I thought you were talking about Currywurst.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 8:10 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]
Döner istnt the same like Gyros.
Me was told that the first döner was made in Berlin from a Turksih men some years ago.
posted by Martinius at 8:11 AM on March 31, 2010
Me was told that the first döner was made in Berlin from a Turksih men some years ago.
posted by Martinius at 8:11 AM on March 31, 2010
For the few months I lived in Berlin, I almost lived on Döner-mit-Soße. Couldn't beat a five Mark meal for the budget I was living on, and oh so delicious.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 8:12 AM on March 31, 2010
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 8:12 AM on March 31, 2010
The idea of some robot slicing my gyros just seems so... wrong. And I don't want to give one a knife. They turn on you, those robots.
Never trust robots.
As an American, one reads a lot about how much animus against ethnic Turkish immigrants there is in much of Germany. Interesting to read that their cuisine is such a hit there.
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 8:14 AM on March 31, 2010
Never trust robots.
As an American, one reads a lot about how much animus against ethnic Turkish immigrants there is in much of Germany. Interesting to read that their cuisine is such a hit there.
posted by Pirate-Bartender-Zombie-Monkey at 8:14 AM on March 31, 2010
I've never had the German/European late night dunk food version, but the plates of iskender drenched in hot butter I had in Turkey will forever be burned in my memory...and have become a (mostly fruitless) quest back in the States. That and dondurma.
posted by JoanArkham at 8:15 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by JoanArkham at 8:15 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]
Pirate, a quick search turns up this dpa article on the lack of integration in Germany's Turkish population which adresses the negativity towards Turkish immigrants. The fact that there were 2,8 million Turkish immigrants in Germany according to the census of 2005 does explain why Döner has become so popular though.
Plus, Döner is just AWESOME.
posted by Omnomnom at 8:19 AM on March 31, 2010
Plus, Döner is just AWESOME.
posted by Omnomnom at 8:19 AM on March 31, 2010
Also, it may have been invented by a Turk living in Germany, but it's definitely found it's way back to Turkey, I ate several from street vendors in Taksim after late night Efes pounding sessions on İstiklal Caddesi.
posted by nathancaswell at 8:20 AM on March 31, 2010
posted by nathancaswell at 8:20 AM on March 31, 2010
Yes, there's nothing better for strengthing the digestive tract than consuming an animal product that is warmed, then cooled, then warmed, then cooled, then warmed, then cooled, then warmed, then cooled, then warmed, then cooled, then warmed, then cooled, then warmed, then cooled, then warmed, then cooled, then warmed, then cooled, then warmed, then cooled, then warmed, then cooled, then warmed, then cooled, then warmed, then cooled.
Hold me back.
posted by fish tick at 7:47 AM on March 31
Better than a mouthful of fish ticks.
posted by notmtwain at 8:21 AM on March 31, 2010
Hold me back.
posted by fish tick at 7:47 AM on March 31
Better than a mouthful of fish ticks.
posted by notmtwain at 8:21 AM on March 31, 2010
When I visited Berlin last Autumn, one of the first places we looked up was Vöner. It was love at first bite. We made sure to plan a second trip the night before we left.
posted by ursus_comiter at 8:23 AM on March 31, 2010
posted by ursus_comiter at 8:23 AM on March 31, 2010
I hate to break the awful truth to everyone, but döner kebep sits at the debased end of the whole "rotating spitted meat" hierarchy. It runs:
barbecue --> shwarma --> al pastor --> gyros --> --> --> döner
posted by felix betachat at 8:24 AM on March 31, 2010
barbecue --> shwarma --> al pastor --> gyros --> --> --> döner
posted by felix betachat at 8:24 AM on March 31, 2010
Coming from the UK, I always had a notion of Doners (without the umlaut) as pitta bread with a mound of greasy mutton in, on a bed of chopped lettuce and smothered in nuclear chilli sauce. Kind of delicious in a disgusting, studenty, full-of-cheap-beer kind of way. When I spent a year in Kiel, near Hamburg, it was a revelation to discover the Döner (with an umlaut) - cheap meat, yes, but with decent salad and mint sauce wrapped in flat bread and bound in foil and then cooked some more under a hot press thing. I was actually converted back from vegetarianism by one - I thought I'd ordered a cheese döner, but in fact I'd asked for one mit käse (und auch fleisch). After I realised my mistake, I thought I might as well keep going, and thought "you know that wasn't bad".
Thanks to that I enjoyed my trip to Argentina the following month so much more.
posted by Grangousier at 8:25 AM on March 31, 2010
Thanks to that I enjoyed my trip to Argentina the following month so much more.
posted by Grangousier at 8:25 AM on March 31, 2010
Little known fact: Döner is actually a Turko-Germanic slang word meaning taco.
posted by Nelson at 8:30 AM on March 31, 2010
posted by Nelson at 8:30 AM on March 31, 2010
The whole "rotating spitted meat" hierarchy is actually:
barbecue --> shwarma --> al pastor --> gyros --> --shaved foreskin of a scabrous donkey cock --> döner
posted by MuffinMan at 8:34 AM on March 31, 2010
barbecue --> shwarma --> al pastor --> gyros --> --shaved foreskin of a scabrous donkey cock --> döner
posted by MuffinMan at 8:34 AM on March 31, 2010
Maybe, one day, but not today, the Döner will have its own museum.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 8:36 AM on March 31, 2010
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 8:36 AM on March 31, 2010
Horizontal rotation is the work of Satan.
posted by aramaic at 8:37 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by aramaic at 8:37 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]
Currywurst is nasty. It's deep-fried sausage slices smothered in watered-down ketchup and tumeric. Why?
posted by molecicco at 8:40 AM on March 31, 2010
posted by molecicco at 8:40 AM on March 31, 2010
barbecue --> shwarma --> al pastor --> gyros --> --> --> döner
Really? Because wherever I find the higher quality Döners in Berlin, the exact same meat is used for both schwarma and Döner. The only difference is the bread they use.
posted by molecicco at 8:41 AM on March 31, 2010
Really? Because wherever I find the higher quality Döners in Berlin, the exact same meat is used for both schwarma and Döner. The only difference is the bread they use.
posted by molecicco at 8:41 AM on March 31, 2010
Because wherever I find the higher quality Döners in Berlin, the exact same meat is used for both schwarma and Döner.
Really good shwarma, the kind the Palestinians cook in East Jerusalem, is not about the meat. It's about the sumac that they use to season it.
As far as I can tell, döner is seasoned only with shame.
posted by felix betachat at 8:45 AM on March 31, 2010 [3 favorites]
Really good shwarma, the kind the Palestinians cook in East Jerusalem, is not about the meat. It's about the sumac that they use to season it.
As far as I can tell, döner is seasoned only with shame.
posted by felix betachat at 8:45 AM on March 31, 2010 [3 favorites]
Does sumac smell at all like cinammon? Because that's what these places smell like.
posted by molecicco at 8:46 AM on March 31, 2010
posted by molecicco at 8:46 AM on March 31, 2010
I'm ashamed I think it's so delicious. Spent 5 months in Munich last year and ate more than my fair share of döner. I miss it so.
posted by JauntyFedora at 8:49 AM on March 31, 2010
posted by JauntyFedora at 8:49 AM on March 31, 2010
Currywurst is nasty. It's deep-fried sausage slices smothered in watered-down ketchup and tumeric. Why?
Apparently because you've never had good currywurst.
I can't remember the names of some of the good 'uns (though I seem to recall a little kiosk on Oranienburgerstrasse, near Tacheles but on the other side of the street maybe?) but just go to the Saturday market on Kollwitzplatz and find the big currywurst stall. And if that doesn't do it for you, well, I sorta feel bad for you.
posted by gompa at 8:49 AM on March 31, 2010
Apparently because you've never had good currywurst.
I can't remember the names of some of the good 'uns (though I seem to recall a little kiosk on Oranienburgerstrasse, near Tacheles but on the other side of the street maybe?) but just go to the Saturday market on Kollwitzplatz and find the big currywurst stall. And if that doesn't do it for you, well, I sorta feel bad for you.
posted by gompa at 8:49 AM on March 31, 2010
The name of this food item always strikes me as insensitive.
Mmmmmm...long pig.
posted by Thorzdad at 8:51 AM on March 31, 2010
Mmmmmm...long pig.
posted by Thorzdad at 8:51 AM on March 31, 2010
Apparently because you've never had good currywurst.
Could be! I treid Curry 56 near Mehrringdamm, which I heard was always voted best in the city. I've had twice and was repulsed. Maybe I'll Kollwitzplatz a try next time I am around there.
posted by molecicco at 8:52 AM on March 31, 2010
Could be! I treid Curry 56 near Mehrringdamm, which I heard was always voted best in the city. I've had twice and was repulsed. Maybe I'll Kollwitzplatz a try next time I am around there.
posted by molecicco at 8:52 AM on March 31, 2010
No, sumac has a more astringent taste that goes perfectly with greasy meat.
I lived for a year in Jerusalem at a place with a chef whose culinary palette consisted solely of cinnamon. The guy put it in everything. Salads, hamburgers, roasted vegetables, you name it. I sat down to dinner one night and forked a mouthful of spaghetti that tasted like Chef Boyardee crossed with bread pudding. Fucking disgusting.
posted by felix betachat at 8:53 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]
I lived for a year in Jerusalem at a place with a chef whose culinary palette consisted solely of cinnamon. The guy put it in everything. Salads, hamburgers, roasted vegetables, you name it. I sat down to dinner one night and forked a mouthful of spaghetti that tasted like Chef Boyardee crossed with bread pudding. Fucking disgusting.
posted by felix betachat at 8:53 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]
About, say, four years ago, kebabs first made their way into the backstreets and entertainment districts of Japan. Oh, those were the glory days, when many a Turkish man would set up a truck and provide sliced meats in a warm pita to drunk people, Japanese and gaijin alike. Of course, there was that fatal moment when these entrepeneurs discovered how stupidly expensive lettuce is here, and how insanely cheap cabbage is, and how Japanese people seem to not mind eating raw cabbage. The meat is still tasty, the pita warm and fresh, but lo, the Japanese kebab is stuffed with cabbage.
If you're drunk enough, you don't notice that you're chewing through nature's own concertina wire.
Mmm... kebab. Garlic and chili sauce please.
posted by Ghidorah at 8:54 AM on March 31, 2010
If you're drunk enough, you don't notice that you're chewing through nature's own concertina wire.
Mmm... kebab. Garlic and chili sauce please.
posted by Ghidorah at 8:54 AM on March 31, 2010
molecicco: I've never had a Döner in Germany. I have walked by Döner shops in Berlin on more than one occasion. Perhaps they're lovely. But you must understand, I'm scarred by the Döner kebab.
I have only had them in the UK. My last one I ate when I was sober. This was a catastrophic error. Never remove the beer goggles. Never eat them without lashings of chilli sauce.
Döner kebab meat in the UK has a disgusting, oily texture that looks as if a leprotic, ailing sheep was flayed alive. It has the consistency of overcooked soft tissue - testicles, brains, gall bladders. It has that unnatural bronzed color of every second person from Hollyoaks or The Bold and the Beautiful.
If I was given Döner kebab now, I'd rather take my chances and throw it through the open window of a passing car of football hooligans than actually eat it.
posted by MuffinMan at 8:55 AM on March 31, 2010
I have only had them in the UK. My last one I ate when I was sober. This was a catastrophic error. Never remove the beer goggles. Never eat them without lashings of chilli sauce.
Döner kebab meat in the UK has a disgusting, oily texture that looks as if a leprotic, ailing sheep was flayed alive. It has the consistency of overcooked soft tissue - testicles, brains, gall bladders. It has that unnatural bronzed color of every second person from Hollyoaks or The Bold and the Beautiful.
If I was given Döner kebab now, I'd rather take my chances and throw it through the open window of a passing car of football hooligans than actually eat it.
posted by MuffinMan at 8:55 AM on March 31, 2010
döner kebep sits at the debased end
You misspelled "delicious."
Kind of delicious in a disgusting, studenty, full-of-cheap-beer kind of way.
One thing they've figured out in England and Germany that they haven't figured out in the States is how yummy doners are after a night in the pubs. I've seen doner trucks or crepe vans all over Europe, but you don't see that kind of thing that much over here. The dubious nature of doners is part of the charm. As my buddies like to say, "don't know who the doner is."
One night we got to the crepe van as they were shutting down. We were really, really drunk and really wanted crepes, so we offered them £40 to make us some crepes. We would've gladly paid it, even though it was pretty much our last £40, but they said no.
Now I really want doners for dinner and crepes for dessert.
posted by kirkaracha at 9:00 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]
Döner may be the rage in Europe, but Turkey's still a step ahead. Mark my words: one day kokoreç will rock the rotating spitted meat hierarchy. Keep your warmed over meat-log slices. I'll be eating sheep intestines.
posted by ecmendenhall at 9:03 AM on March 31, 2010
posted by ecmendenhall at 9:03 AM on March 31, 2010
LA's delightfully-named tastymeat! truck offers an object they call the Bamwich, which purports to be some form of doner. I haven't actually gotten around to it yet, anyone local tried it?
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 9:04 AM on March 31, 2010
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 9:04 AM on March 31, 2010
Mark my words: one day kokoreç will rock the rotating spitted meat hierarchy.
Maybe it can blaze a trail for the dark horse of drunk food deliciousness: me'urav yerushalmi. There's a restaurant in Jersualem called Chatzot that serves it piping hot off a grill that faces the street. There's just something about heavily seasoned chicken offal scraped off a grill and into a pita and then immediately thrust into one's hungry mouth...
posted by felix betachat at 9:11 AM on March 31, 2010
Maybe it can blaze a trail for the dark horse of drunk food deliciousness: me'urav yerushalmi. There's a restaurant in Jersualem called Chatzot that serves it piping hot off a grill that faces the street. There's just something about heavily seasoned chicken offal scraped off a grill and into a pita and then immediately thrust into one's hungry mouth...
posted by felix betachat at 9:11 AM on March 31, 2010
Me, I'm about chicken cooked on skewers served in flatbread. Doesn't matter which cuisine it is, it's always a good food choice.
posted by Artw at 9:16 AM on March 31, 2010
posted by Artw at 9:16 AM on March 31, 2010
I'm not sure when it happened, but at some point I started eating gyros... wrong. Rather than fold them like a sandwich, I lay it out flat using the pita like a plate, and I eat the strips of meat one at a time as though they were french fries.
I find it very useful when playing video games as I don't need to set the controller down to grab a bite, so maybe that's when I made the switch.
posted by quin at 9:25 AM on March 31, 2010
I find it very useful when playing video games as I don't need to set the controller down to grab a bite, so maybe that's when I made the switch.
posted by quin at 9:25 AM on March 31, 2010
Yea, Canadians as a rule don't call it "donair"; it's only in the Maritimes that it's called that, and then it's a doner kebab with a specific type of sweet sauce made w/ condensed milk. In southern Ontario/Toronto it's simply called "shawarma" or "gyro."
posted by pravit at 9:36 AM on March 31, 2010
posted by pravit at 9:36 AM on March 31, 2010
fairytale... I need to try that. I also need to try spitz. Any doener loving la mefites had one of theirs yet?
I've missed doeners terribly since having them in germany while visiting for a few weeks in high school. The girl I was staying with had a book of local stands with ratings that her friends had put together because she liked them so much, and it was definitely infectious.
Admittedly this was with a midwest abused high school palette, but we weren't drinking much. The former might affect taste as much as the latter, but still.... anyone that's putting gyro > doener needs to have that looked at by a doctor.
posted by flaterik at 9:37 AM on March 31, 2010
I've missed doeners terribly since having them in germany while visiting for a few weeks in high school. The girl I was staying with had a book of local stands with ratings that her friends had put together because she liked them so much, and it was definitely infectious.
Admittedly this was with a midwest abused high school palette, but we weren't drinking much. The former might affect taste as much as the latter, but still.... anyone that's putting gyro > doener needs to have that looked at by a doctor.
posted by flaterik at 9:37 AM on March 31, 2010
Donair is purely a Halifax thing, started by some Lebanese guys in the '70s. It's really popular. Donair : Halifax :: Cheesesteak : Philadelphia. You can even get donair pizza in a lot of places.
The sauce is crucial.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:40 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]
The sauce is crucial.
posted by Sys Rq at 9:40 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]
Little known fact: Döner is actually a Turko-Germanic slang word meaning taco.
That's interesting slang... Döner is Turkish for "turning" or "revolving", "rotating" etc. Hence my Iskender Döner = Alexander Turner pun above (which I stole from my Turkish ex-girlfriend's father).
posted by nathancaswell at 9:41 AM on March 31, 2010
That's interesting slang... Döner is Turkish for "turning" or "revolving", "rotating" etc. Hence my Iskender Döner = Alexander Turner pun above (which I stole from my Turkish ex-girlfriend's father).
posted by nathancaswell at 9:41 AM on March 31, 2010
molecicco: as far as I can tell, the Döner place at the north entrance of Ostbahnhof survives entirely on clubbers stumbling out of Berghain / Panorama Bar. I've gone there before at 10am Sunday morning to stuff myself with some food before climbing back into "Pano."
posted by LMGM at 9:45 AM on March 31, 2010
posted by LMGM at 9:45 AM on March 31, 2010
I'm really looking forward to trying Hamburg's spin on both Döner Kebap and Currywurst when I visit it for the first time in early May.
I was at a conference at UdK last February (2009- it snowed every bloody day) and was dismayed, REALLY dismayed, that there was not a single Döner Imbiß in Charlottenburg. Not one. There was some excellent Currywurst on offer but the idea that Döner is on every corner in Berlin is, sadly, false. I had the same experience in Seattle staying at the Ace Hotel, but this time with teriyaki, but that's a whole other topic.
On the Berlin street food front, though, one thing I really love is all the "China Box" and "Asia Box" and "Thai Box" noodle kiosks. Some are better than others, but I had a pile of food (not terrible either) from one of these places, where the food carts are near the Rosenthalerplatz U-Bahn station, for 2 Euros. This was in 2007, but still, such a deal. Of course, when you find out that every single "Chinese" resto in Berlin sells pretty much nothing but those noodles it gets a bit depressing; kind of like the diminishing high after your first taste of lip-smacking paprika potato chips is followed by your realization that this is the only flavour of chips they have in the entire country.
posted by ethnomethodologist at 9:47 AM on March 31, 2010
I was at a conference at UdK last February (2009- it snowed every bloody day) and was dismayed, REALLY dismayed, that there was not a single Döner Imbiß in Charlottenburg. Not one. There was some excellent Currywurst on offer but the idea that Döner is on every corner in Berlin is, sadly, false. I had the same experience in Seattle staying at the Ace Hotel, but this time with teriyaki, but that's a whole other topic.
On the Berlin street food front, though, one thing I really love is all the "China Box" and "Asia Box" and "Thai Box" noodle kiosks. Some are better than others, but I had a pile of food (not terrible either) from one of these places, where the food carts are near the Rosenthalerplatz U-Bahn station, for 2 Euros. This was in 2007, but still, such a deal. Of course, when you find out that every single "Chinese" resto in Berlin sells pretty much nothing but those noodles it gets a bit depressing; kind of like the diminishing high after your first taste of lip-smacking paprika potato chips is followed by your realization that this is the only flavour of chips they have in the entire country.
posted by ethnomethodologist at 9:47 AM on March 31, 2010
Datapoint: Winnipeg.
I get Shwarma at the Lebanese place (named, Shwarma Time), and I get Gyros from any number of Greek places. While similar, they do not taste the same, at all. From the places I eat at, the meat never seems low quality, and there's always a chicken option.
posted by utsutsu at 9:49 AM on March 31, 2010
I get Shwarma at the Lebanese place (named, Shwarma Time), and I get Gyros from any number of Greek places. While similar, they do not taste the same, at all. From the places I eat at, the meat never seems low quality, and there's always a chicken option.
posted by utsutsu at 9:49 AM on March 31, 2010
Wasn't doner the stuff discovered in the warehouse years past edible and still being sold? I recall my German brother-in-law being beside himself over the issue.
You're thinking of the Döner King case. In 2006 he had 4000 kilos of rotten meat in his warehouse.
posted by cmonkey at 9:57 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]
You're thinking of the Döner King case. In 2006 he had 4000 kilos of rotten meat in his warehouse.
posted by cmonkey at 9:57 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]
Oh, bliss! When I was going to school in Berlin, I'd grab one of these whenever I had a little money in my pocket.
The thing is, gyros in the States taste nothing (NOTHING!) like a döner kebab. If they did, I might not be a vegetarian.
posted by Never teh Bride at 9:57 AM on March 31, 2010
The thing is, gyros in the States taste nothing (NOTHING!) like a döner kebab. If they did, I might not be a vegetarian.
posted by Never teh Bride at 9:57 AM on March 31, 2010
Yea, Canadians as a rule don't call it "donair"; it's only in the Maritimes that it's called that
Excuse the fuck out of me, but there are DOZENS and DOZENS of DONAIR places in Calgary (and from what I understand in Edmonton too). The fact that you can't get a Halifax-style donair in Toronto doesn't mean the rest of the country is deprived.
I'll put a donair from Sammy's on 17th Ave SW here up against any donair in Halifax, by the way.
posted by ethnomethodologist at 9:57 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]
Excuse the fuck out of me, but there are DOZENS and DOZENS of DONAIR places in Calgary (and from what I understand in Edmonton too). The fact that you can't get a Halifax-style donair in Toronto doesn't mean the rest of the country is deprived.
I'll put a donair from Sammy's on 17th Ave SW here up against any donair in Halifax, by the way.
posted by ethnomethodologist at 9:57 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]
And for my non-meat-eating MetaFilter friends visiting Germany: you can often get a decent falafel sandwich in döner shops, so don't let avoiding dodgy meat stop you from popping into one with your associates on a drunken night out.
posted by cmonkey at 9:59 AM on March 31, 2010
posted by cmonkey at 9:59 AM on March 31, 2010
Yea, Canadians as a rule don't call it "donair"; it's only in the Maritimes that it's called that, and then it's a doner kebab with a specific type of sweet sauce made w/ condensed milk. In southern Ontario/Toronto it's simply called "shawarma" or "gyro."
What you meant is Ontarians as a rule, yes? From the Ontario border west well into the BC interior, they are also generally referred to as donairs. (Can't speak for the Lower Mainland and the island, as I'm usually too busy eating sushi and Chinese there to bother with street meat.)
Donair/sub/pizza shops are ubiquitous here in Calgary, and some even specify that they serve "Nova Scotia style" donairs; others offer a choice of spicy sauce (usually somewhere in the tahini/tzatziki continuum) or sweet sauce (the garlicky Haligonian concoction). There's also a handful of legit Middle Eastern joints with only real-deal gyros and schwarma on the menu.
posted by gompa at 10:02 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]
What you meant is Ontarians as a rule, yes? From the Ontario border west well into the BC interior, they are also generally referred to as donairs. (Can't speak for the Lower Mainland and the island, as I'm usually too busy eating sushi and Chinese there to bother with street meat.)
Donair/sub/pizza shops are ubiquitous here in Calgary, and some even specify that they serve "Nova Scotia style" donairs; others offer a choice of spicy sauce (usually somewhere in the tahini/tzatziki continuum) or sweet sauce (the garlicky Haligonian concoction). There's also a handful of legit Middle Eastern joints with only real-deal gyros and schwarma on the menu.
posted by gompa at 10:02 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]
The name of this food item always strikes me as insensitive.
As a donair-eating Canuck you can imagine my surprise the first time I went through said geographical feature, wondering "Man, I guess they sure like donairs here in California. Odd that they don't even sell them here though."
Although a donair shop at Squaw would be a license to print money I imagine...
posted by GuyZero at 10:36 AM on March 31, 2010
As a donair-eating Canuck you can imagine my surprise the first time I went through said geographical feature, wondering "Man, I guess they sure like donairs here in California. Odd that they don't even sell them here though."
Although a donair shop at Squaw would be a license to print money I imagine...
posted by GuyZero at 10:36 AM on March 31, 2010
I'll put a donair from Sammy's on 17th Ave SW here up against any donair in Halifax, by the way.
Have you tried Jimmy's A&A Deli in the NW (near Confed park)?
posted by threetoed at 10:42 AM on March 31, 2010
Have you tried Jimmy's A&A Deli in the NW (near Confed park)?
posted by threetoed at 10:42 AM on March 31, 2010
Oh yes, Döner macht schöner!
By the way, does anyone know whether there's a place in Berkeley/SF/the Bay Area that serves Döner (not Gyros!)? I'll probably move there in the fall and cannot imagine going without a Döner for months. It's just not possible.
posted by The Toad at 11:03 AM on March 31, 2010
By the way, does anyone know whether there's a place in Berkeley/SF/the Bay Area that serves Döner (not Gyros!)? I'll probably move there in the fall and cannot imagine going without a Döner for months. It's just not possible.
posted by The Toad at 11:03 AM on March 31, 2010
threetoed you beat me to it. I'm going to Jimmy's for lunch now. There's one on 4th and 13th SW.
Yum.
posted by sauril at 11:07 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]
Yum.
posted by sauril at 11:07 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]
Oh God, my kingdom for a Döner, some Pommes mit Mayo, and a Spaghettieis. Or just a ticket to Germany.
posted by mynameisluka at 11:08 AM on March 31, 2010
posted by mynameisluka at 11:08 AM on March 31, 2010
My theory is that doner shops haven't caught on in the US because we already have lots and lots of late night greasy-meat emporiums in most towns. Isn't it true that in Germany at least hardly any food except doners can be bought in the wee hours?
Here in TX, we have a 24-hour Mexican-food chain (Taco Cabana*) and of course there are the Whataburgers, national chains like Denny's or IHOP, etc.
Lukewarm rotating meat-chunks sold in a dingy storefront or off of a cart (which is what the doner places I've seen look like) are not going to do well against that competition.
*they make their own tortillas and chips. So good.
posted by emjaybee at 11:09 AM on March 31, 2010
Here in TX, we have a 24-hour Mexican-food chain (Taco Cabana*) and of course there are the Whataburgers, national chains like Denny's or IHOP, etc.
Lukewarm rotating meat-chunks sold in a dingy storefront or off of a cart (which is what the doner places I've seen look like) are not going to do well against that competition.
*they make their own tortillas and chips. So good.
posted by emjaybee at 11:09 AM on March 31, 2010
OK, someone must ask the stupid question: what's the difference between a döner and a kebab? Are they the same thing?
posted by Termite at 11:34 AM on March 31, 2010
posted by Termite at 11:34 AM on March 31, 2010
what's the difference between a döner and a kebab? Are they the same thing?
No... In Turkish "kebap" (kebab) is "roasted meat". Şiş (shish) is "skewer". Döner is "turner". Şiş kebap is meat rosted on a skewer, Döner kebap is meat roasted on a rotary.
posted by nathancaswell at 11:46 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]
No... In Turkish "kebap" (kebab) is "roasted meat". Şiş (shish) is "skewer". Döner is "turner". Şiş kebap is meat rosted on a skewer, Döner kebap is meat roasted on a rotary.
posted by nathancaswell at 11:46 AM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]
AKA square is a always rectangle but a rectangle isn't always a square. A Döner is always a kebab but a kebab isn't always a Döner.
posted by nathancaswell at 11:49 AM on March 31, 2010
posted by nathancaswell at 11:49 AM on March 31, 2010
Thank you for the enlightment nathancaswell. I was also a little confused, as it seems like everything is a kebap. Usually in Germany the full name is Döner Kebap when it comes in a triangular piece of bread, and Durum Döner when in a pita... that had led me to believe Kebap had something to with shape, or how you eat it or something.
posted by molecicco at 12:03 PM on March 31, 2010
posted by molecicco at 12:03 PM on March 31, 2010
threetoed- I love Jimmy's chicken shawarma and how comically big it is, but for donair I prefer Sammy's to any other place I've tried here. The fact that I live 2 blocks from Sammy's might bias my perspective, though.
And actually my favourite shawarma in Calgary is also right by my house- Shawarma Knight on 14 St SW just north of 16 Ave. They have this procedure where they put half a split round pita on top of a big square flat pita and wrap the whole thing up like a burrito. Beautiful system, no mess and delish. They do the same at Pharaoh's Diner up the street where Grabbajabba once was.
posted by ethnomethodologist at 1:03 PM on March 31, 2010
And actually my favourite shawarma in Calgary is also right by my house- Shawarma Knight on 14 St SW just north of 16 Ave. They have this procedure where they put half a split round pita on top of a big square flat pita and wrap the whole thing up like a burrito. Beautiful system, no mess and delish. They do the same at Pharaoh's Diner up the street where Grabbajabba once was.
posted by ethnomethodologist at 1:03 PM on March 31, 2010
I have to add to all this that the absolute best shawarma I've ever had in North America has been in Ottawa.
posted by ethnomethodologist at 1:04 PM on March 31, 2010
posted by ethnomethodologist at 1:04 PM on March 31, 2010
By the way, does anyone know whether there's a place in Berkeley/SF/the Bay Area that serves Döner (not Gyros!)?
Confidence is low, but here's a start: Best Turkish in Bay Area (doner kebab, hookah?). A La Turca and Eden's Mediterranean Turkish And Greek Restaurant supposedly have doners, but I haven't been so I can't vouch for them.
Truly Mediterranean is great for shawarmas, but as has been discussed it's not the same thing.
According to Wikipedia's doner kebab page, doners are "the origin of other similar Mediterranean and Middle Eastern dishes such as shawarma and gyros." They also say there are concerns about "unacceptable salt and fat levels." Unless that means "not enough," I'm not sure how reliable it is.
posted by kirkaracha at 1:34 PM on March 31, 2010 [2 favorites]
ethnomethodologist: I will put Sammy's and Shawarma Knight on my radar then, thank you for the recommendation.
posted by threetoed at 1:37 PM on March 31, 2010
posted by threetoed at 1:37 PM on March 31, 2010
In my circle of friends, if you were drunk enough to want to stumble up the road to the all night kebab stand at the petrol station,you were labelled a kebabstronaut!
My friends and I had long debates over what exactly the meaty doner log was made from, what mythical beast, or genetically engineered, vat grown monstrosity where the Turks of Sydney growing in backyard laboratories!
Around Sydney's inner west, you're better off with the pide as a late night drunken supper.
posted by robotot at 2:11 PM on March 31, 2010
My friends and I had long debates over what exactly the meaty doner log was made from, what mythical beast, or genetically engineered, vat grown monstrosity where the Turks of Sydney growing in backyard laboratories!
Around Sydney's inner west, you're better off with the pide as a late night drunken supper.
posted by robotot at 2:11 PM on March 31, 2010
Everyone, just for the record, Shwarmas, Donairs and Gyros are DIFFERENT.
Shwarma is middle eastern, dry rub spices with acidic vinegar and lemon, sauced lightly. On flatbread or rice.
Gyros are greek, greek spiced, less acidic than shwarams but with a more limited greek palette of spices. Usually served with hummus or taziki sauce. On a pita.
Donair is turkish spiced meat served with either a garlic cream sauce, a sweet chili sauce, or both (which i prefer). It is served on a sweet fluffy naan-like flatbread.
They look similar, but they are all very distinct by taste. Confusing them is like confusing a blt with an italian sub. The form is similar. Taste isn't.
posted by darkfred at 2:18 PM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]
Shwarma is middle eastern, dry rub spices with acidic vinegar and lemon, sauced lightly. On flatbread or rice.
Gyros are greek, greek spiced, less acidic than shwarams but with a more limited greek palette of spices. Usually served with hummus or taziki sauce. On a pita.
Donair is turkish spiced meat served with either a garlic cream sauce, a sweet chili sauce, or both (which i prefer). It is served on a sweet fluffy naan-like flatbread.
They look similar, but they are all very distinct by taste. Confusing them is like confusing a blt with an italian sub. The form is similar. Taste isn't.
posted by darkfred at 2:18 PM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]
Also, Donair is SPICY, both in flavoring and heat, much spicier than gyro and and most american style shwarams (although they get hot too). A good donair with chili sauce should run heat levels well into the authentic mexican tacos hot range.
posted by darkfred at 2:20 PM on March 31, 2010
posted by darkfred at 2:20 PM on March 31, 2010
My friends and I had long debates over what exactly the meaty doner log was made from, what mythical beast, or genetically engineered, vat grown monstrosity where the Turks of Sydney growing in backyard laboratories!
The Dönertier of course!
posted by Omnomnom at 2:20 PM on March 31, 2010
The Dönertier of course!
posted by Omnomnom at 2:20 PM on March 31, 2010
YouTube link: German pop star, hairdresser and former Big Brother contestant Tim Toupet performs his hit Döner song (Ich bin ein Döner).
"Baguette macht fett,
Sushi macht wuschi,
Pizza macht spitzer
aber Döner macht schöner!!!!"
posted by iviken at 2:55 PM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]
"Baguette macht fett,
Sushi macht wuschi,
Pizza macht spitzer
aber Döner macht schöner!!!!"
posted by iviken at 2:55 PM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]
"In BC we call them donairs. Never heard them as shawarma in my life. Tho I'd call them anything to find one on Vancouver Island."
Well, it's been a few years now, but the last time I was in Victoria we saw signs advertising them all over the place. At the time, I'd never heard of donair (we don't have it in Seattle, as far as I know), and my husband and I were mystified as to what this donair thing might be that we saw on so many restaurant signs. I can't imagine all of them in Victoria have gone out of business since then.
posted by litlnemo at 4:14 PM on March 31, 2010
Well, it's been a few years now, but the last time I was in Victoria we saw signs advertising them all over the place. At the time, I'd never heard of donair (we don't have it in Seattle, as far as I know), and my husband and I were mystified as to what this donair thing might be that we saw on so many restaurant signs. I can't imagine all of them in Victoria have gone out of business since then.
posted by litlnemo at 4:14 PM on March 31, 2010
Everyone in Canada hates Toronto because Toronto doesn't really know what a Donair is. At first glance I thought this post was about a German Admiral.
posted by ovvl at 4:21 PM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]
posted by ovvl at 4:21 PM on March 31, 2010 [1 favorite]
Lou: You know, I went to the McDonald's in Shelbyville on Friday night.
Wiggum: The McWhat?
Lou: Uh, the McDonald's restaurant. I've never heard of it either, but they have over 2,000 locations in this state alone.
Eddie: Must've sprung up overnight.
Lou: You know, the funniest thing though, it's the little differences.
Wiggum: Example.
Lou: Well, at McDonald's you can buy a Krusty Burger with cheese, right? But they don't call it a Krusty Burger with cheese.
Wiggum: Get out! Well, what do they call it?
Lou: A Quarter Pounder with cheese.
Wiggum: Quarter Pounder with cheese? Well, I can picture the cheese, but, uh, do they have Krusty partially gelatinated non-dairy gum-based beverages?
Lou: Mm-hm. They call 'em, "shakes."
Eddie: Huh, shakes. You don't know what you're gettin'!
posted by Fupped Duck at 5:11 PM on March 31, 2010 [3 favorites]
Wiggum: The McWhat?
Lou: Uh, the McDonald's restaurant. I've never heard of it either, but they have over 2,000 locations in this state alone.
Eddie: Must've sprung up overnight.
Lou: You know, the funniest thing though, it's the little differences.
Wiggum: Example.
Lou: Well, at McDonald's you can buy a Krusty Burger with cheese, right? But they don't call it a Krusty Burger with cheese.
Wiggum: Get out! Well, what do they call it?
Lou: A Quarter Pounder with cheese.
Wiggum: Quarter Pounder with cheese? Well, I can picture the cheese, but, uh, do they have Krusty partially gelatinated non-dairy gum-based beverages?
Lou: Mm-hm. They call 'em, "shakes."
Eddie: Huh, shakes. You don't know what you're gettin'!
posted by Fupped Duck at 5:11 PM on March 31, 2010 [3 favorites]
Huh. The wikipedia entry for doner kebab claims that "In Pakistan, the döner kebab is referred to by its Arabic name, Shawarma, and has become a very popular type of fast food, having become a hot roadside attack chicken capable of speeds in excess of 40mph."
posted by gamera at 5:35 PM on March 31, 2010 [2 favorites]
posted by gamera at 5:35 PM on March 31, 2010 [2 favorites]
The place near where used to live used to shave the giant elephant's leg with some sort of grisly electric meat razor.
I'm sure there must be a patent somewhere for the grisly electric meat razor.
posted by Fiery Jack at 6:15 PM on March 31, 2010
I'm sure there must be a patent somewhere for the grisly electric meat razor.
posted by Fiery Jack at 6:15 PM on March 31, 2010
In Toronto, it's called "shawarma". Though I think I've seen it spelled "shwarma" but maybe I misremember.
posted by jb at 8:25 PM on March 31, 2010
posted by jb at 8:25 PM on March 31, 2010
Or maybe it's just that what we eat are shawarma.
But I wouldn't assume the names are not interchangable. When I was in Paris, we ate at a cheap place selling "Grec" -- the guys behind the counters translated for the obvious Anglos by calling them "doners". Then I said how in Canada (aka Toronto) we called them "shawarma" and he responded, "That's what we call them at home!". What we ate looked and tasted like an English doner kebab/Torontonian shawarma, in a thin pita. But gyros I've always had on thick Greek-style pitas.
posted by jb at 8:37 PM on March 31, 2010
But I wouldn't assume the names are not interchangable. When I was in Paris, we ate at a cheap place selling "Grec" -- the guys behind the counters translated for the obvious Anglos by calling them "doners". Then I said how in Canada (aka Toronto) we called them "shawarma" and he responded, "That's what we call them at home!". What we ate looked and tasted like an English doner kebab/Torontonian shawarma, in a thin pita. But gyros I've always had on thick Greek-style pitas.
posted by jb at 8:37 PM on March 31, 2010
Thanks, kirkaracha! I'll check out those places. I'm also a big fan of "real" Turkish cuisine, such as İmam bayıldı - yum!
Gyros and Döner Kebap used to be interchangeable in my part of Germany twenty years ago (both were unidentifiable, very very salty scraps of meat sold by men with black mustaches); now we're more advanced and differentiate between (greek) Gyros and (turkish) Döner Kebap. It is well known that Turks don't react well to customers refering to their product as "Gyros"...(Turkish/Greek relations are somewhat strained).
There's a Döner shop in the house where I live, btw. They claim to make their Döner only from high-quality veal. Most other Döners in Germany come from these people. Yes, they taste just the way you would imagine from looking at that web page.
posted by The Toad at 12:50 AM on April 1, 2010
Gyros and Döner Kebap used to be interchangeable in my part of Germany twenty years ago (both were unidentifiable, very very salty scraps of meat sold by men with black mustaches); now we're more advanced and differentiate between (greek) Gyros and (turkish) Döner Kebap. It is well known that Turks don't react well to customers refering to their product as "Gyros"...(Turkish/Greek relations are somewhat strained).
There's a Döner shop in the house where I live, btw. They claim to make their Döner only from high-quality veal. Most other Döners in Germany come from these people. Yes, they taste just the way you would imagine from looking at that web page.
posted by The Toad at 12:50 AM on April 1, 2010
Yes, they taste just the way you would imagine from looking at that web page.
You mean good? ...sooo good?
posted by molecicco at 1:34 AM on April 1, 2010
You mean good? ...sooo good?
posted by molecicco at 1:34 AM on April 1, 2010
The inventor of Döner didn't die, it was what in Germany is called a newspaper-duck (zeitungsente), a mixup by some newspaper that got re-reported all over the world from a source that confused the death a man with a similar name with the Döner inventor, who is still alive and well.
Re: the vegetarian alternative,
never eat a falafel sandwich from a döner shop, they are disgusting, prefabricated, microwave heated lumps! Always get them from an Arabian shawarma place where they get freshly made and fried!
Also someone upthread said something about how you could tell where the owner would buy and assemble the meat by himself right there in the shop: this never, ever happens. There are just different types of prefabricated meat types from different suppliers.
posted by ts;dr at 5:05 AM on April 1, 2010
Re: the vegetarian alternative,
never eat a falafel sandwich from a döner shop, they are disgusting, prefabricated, microwave heated lumps! Always get them from an Arabian shawarma place where they get freshly made and fried!
Also someone upthread said something about how you could tell where the owner would buy and assemble the meat by himself right there in the shop: this never, ever happens. There are just different types of prefabricated meat types from different suppliers.
posted by ts;dr at 5:05 AM on April 1, 2010
Yeah, read that in the previous mefi post - good to hear, anyway.
posted by Omnomnom at 5:46 AM on April 1, 2010
posted by Omnomnom at 5:46 AM on April 1, 2010
Also someone upthread said something about how you could tell where the owner would buy and assemble the meat by himself right there in the shop: this never, ever happens.
Untrue, actually. My first job was in a gyros shop and we used to make the meat in the basement. It took a huge, Pink Floyd-esque meat grinder, tons of frozen beef & lamb (we called the resulting product "blam") and bucketsful of spices.
Care to imagine what a softball-sized ball of semi-frozen ground meat feels like when it's thrown at you by a burly man named Vasili?
posted by felix betachat at 7:24 AM on April 1, 2010
Untrue, actually. My first job was in a gyros shop and we used to make the meat in the basement. It took a huge, Pink Floyd-esque meat grinder, tons of frozen beef & lamb (we called the resulting product "blam") and bucketsful of spices.
Care to imagine what a softball-sized ball of semi-frozen ground meat feels like when it's thrown at you by a burly man named Vasili?
posted by felix betachat at 7:24 AM on April 1, 2010
Also someone upthread said something about how you could tell where the owner would buy and assemble the meat by himself right there in the shop: this never, ever happens.
Well, I never said the owner put it together, although my impression is that it is assembled in the shop. In any case it is very obviously assembled from individual cuts of beef (and/or lamb and/or veal, but not chicken or turkey) stacked on top of each other, followed by a thick layer of lard, and has not been mechanically pressed or shaped. So, maybe there is some supplier somewhere who puts them together and sells them (maybe by machine, but likely by hand).
posted by molecicco at 7:56 AM on April 1, 2010
Well, I never said the owner put it together, although my impression is that it is assembled in the shop. In any case it is very obviously assembled from individual cuts of beef (and/or lamb and/or veal, but not chicken or turkey) stacked on top of each other, followed by a thick layer of lard, and has not been mechanically pressed or shaped. So, maybe there is some supplier somewhere who puts them together and sells them (maybe by machine, but likely by hand).
posted by molecicco at 7:56 AM on April 1, 2010
A few years ago I was staying with a German friend in Koblenz. He asked me what my favourite German food was. I replied, 'Döner.'
He facepalmed.
posted by spamguy at 8:26 AM on April 1, 2010
He facepalmed.
posted by spamguy at 8:26 AM on April 1, 2010
I am going to respond to my own request for a spitz review. I have been craving a doner since this damn thread started, and I made a trip downtown to have one today.
mmmmm that was tasty. not the same as i remember having in germany... but that was over 10 years ago. Even though I ordered it "spicy", it wasn't spicy enough for my taste, but my taste tends towards habanero these days. Still, my thought while eating it was "next time, I'm going to order it extra spicy!". Since the first thought was "next time", I'm pretty sure that's a positive review.
posted by flaterik at 6:40 PM on April 9, 2010
mmmmm that was tasty. not the same as i remember having in germany... but that was over 10 years ago. Even though I ordered it "spicy", it wasn't spicy enough for my taste, but my taste tends towards habanero these days. Still, my thought while eating it was "next time, I'm going to order it extra spicy!". Since the first thought was "next time", I'm pretty sure that's a positive review.
posted by flaterik at 6:40 PM on April 9, 2010
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Previously.
posted by Horace Rumpole at 7:33 AM on March 31, 2010