BIRD CALLS and SONGS

November 22, 2010 3:46 PM

BIRD CALLS and SONGS: A blog about the bird sounds of eastern North America and beyond. Featuring Nightjars, the Blackbird and Tits. (~v~)
posted by puny human (5 comments total)

The cat is interested.
posted by ovvl at 5:35 PM on November 22, 2010

Hit play on all of them at once ovvl, it will drive her nuts :)

(LENNONYC on american masters tonight)
posted by puny human at 5:50 PM on November 22, 2010

Totally awesome. Thank you.
posted by mykescipark at 7:18 PM on November 22, 2010

For the longest time, there was a bird across the street. And I wrote this:

Night bird.
You sing at night.
You are singing now,
At 2 AM.

Your cheerful chirping is as loud as any day bird.
You are filling the night with your cheerful singing.

Night bird,
Shut the fuck up.
It’s 2AM
Shut the fuck up.

Night bird, if I had a night scope and a rifle,
Even a shitty 22.
I’d find you and blow you the fuck away.

Sweet night bird,
I stood on my porch tonite,
For almost an hour.
Listening to you.

Listening for you,
Slingshot in hand,
Lucky night bird.
I didn’t see you.
I couldn’t find you.

I have a quality wrist-rocket,
And a ball bearing with your name on it, night bird.

Keep singing you fucker,
I know what tree you’re in,
I just have to figure out which branch.

Then you are a cloud of feathers and blood,
Sweet night bird.

This is your last chance.
Shut up…

Then I realized that it was a horny bird. Using every bit of his little bird brain and little bird body to find a mate. It was actually a Northern Mocking bird. And it had a nest in the tree across the street. The stupid poem was written in 2005 before I became a friend of the birds. Then the little idiot was behind my house in the bush under my livingroom window. And for a while there, in the summer I was pissed. And then I realized that some of the noise from the bush, (it has leaves like razors and if you walk barefoot on the dead ones you'll regret it for a week) was cute cheeps. Now I don't know who the mom was or the dad. But the day that I decided to check, I was attacked by a very angry bird. This sucker kept divebombing me and flying away in a certain direction that was, essentially, away from MY house.

And my bush.

But I got the clue.

Later that summer they, (or he, or she) were gone. And I had peace. And I only heard the fucking car alarms and not the damn bird doing a duet with them.

Then they (or he or she) came back recently. And he or she was in the tree across the street until a very recent wind storm (a few of us think it was a very small Brooklyn type tornado) knocked down the tree. It took a while for the tree to be taken down, and then away.

It landed upon the house across the street. It's a big brick house. The house survived.

But after they chopped up the tree, I looked all around, in the wood shavings and the dirt from the upturned tree. I saw nothing that looked like a bird nor an egg.

So I have to suppose that the the fucker was smart and took off to warmer, and perhaps, less windy places.

Fuck yeah. Him and the kids, and the wife. And they're wondering, did the big obnoxious meat sack live through the storm we missed? The bastard, I wish the wingless sack of shit a bit of luck.

Hey noisy bird, I'm still here you noisy fuck! And I hope you are too!
posted by Splunge at 9:27 PM on November 22, 2010 [2 favorites]

This seems like a good shout-out for a girl named Nicole Perretta with whom I went to high school. At the time, we teased her for making bird calls and being so bird obsessed (She had this cute thing where she would 'fly' up behind you and 'perch' on your shoulder with her hands clenched like talons and her grinning face on top of them) but as you can see, she's turned it into her CAREER and she is FAMOUS for it so SUCK IT YOU HIGH SCHOOL JERKS! You go, bird-girl! :)
posted by The otter lady at 8:36 AM on November 23, 2010