Girl Scout Cookies to be cut in half

January 27, 2011 1:43 PM

Did Thin Mints make the cut? Girl Scouts of America has announced they are cutting the number of flavors in their iconic cookie assortment, which earns the bulk of the organization's regional operating budgets, because of a lack of demand. Don't go near the freezer! Video of a dude screaming about his addiction to Girl Scout Cookies here. Ted Nugent's Girl Scout Cookies. An adorable old ad for cookies.
posted by parmanparman (81 comments total)

YES.

all is right in the world.
posted by The Whelk at 1:45 PM on January 27, 2011

FEWER cookies in a pack? What will we get now, three?
posted by robocop is bleeding at 1:46 PM on January 27, 2011 [26 favorites]

As long as they keep the Caramel DeLites and the Thin Mints, it's all good.
posted by Iridic at 1:46 PM on January 27, 2011 [4 favorites]

They're still going to cost six bucks a box and be mostly plastic packaging, right?
posted by bondcliff at 1:47 PM on January 27, 2011

Of course their mint cookies will make the cut, as they're the only ones with no equivalent in the cookie aisle of any supermarket (and no, Mystic Mint is not the same).
posted by Rash at 1:48 PM on January 27, 2011

FEWER cookies in a pack? What will we get now, three?

No shit. I can understand trimming the product line (though I'll miss the shortbreads with the chocolate on the bottom), and the packaging, but I like the peanut butter and chocolate one and there's not 20 cookies per box of those.
posted by middleclasstool at 1:49 PM on January 27, 2011

$3.75 per box here, according to the mammoth order of Thin Mints I just placed.
posted by emelenjr at 1:50 PM on January 27, 2011

I felt a shudder of terrible fear, until I read:

Lovers of the chocolaty Thin Mints, crunchy peanut-buttery Do-Si-Dos and buttery Trefoils shortbread don't need to fret. The Girl Scouts governing body has told the two commercial bakers the scouts deal with that they must produce those three every year. Likewise, Samoas (called Caramel deLites in some parts of the country) and Lemon Chalet Cremes will also have a place in the pantry this year. So, too, Tagalongs (also known as Peanut Butter Patties).
posted by bearwife at 1:50 PM on January 27, 2011

"Video of dude screaming about his addiction to Girl Scout Cookies" links to a video of a news story on teenage thieves stealing money from a 9 year old Girl Scout.

Wrong video, but it still had this dude screaming.

Well, more like rolling my eyes.
posted by pedmands at 1:51 PM on January 27, 2011

So, too, Tagalongs (also known as Peanut Butter Patties).

Crazy, this whole time I thought they were called "Tagalogs," as in the Tagalog language. Poor girl scouts must have thought I had a cold or something.
posted by circular at 1:53 PM on January 27, 2011 [8 favorites]

I love how Ted Nugent claims to be a Paragon of Real American Values because he doesn't do drugs and likes to shoot things, but sings songs about having sex with underage girls for a living.
posted by The Card Cheat at 1:54 PM on January 27, 2011 [2 favorites]

They kept all the ones I could list off the top of my head. Who wants to eat those other loser cookies anyway? NO ONE
posted by hermitosis at 1:56 PM on January 27, 2011 [9 favorites]

Nobody better fuck with my samoas is all I'm saying.
posted by dosterm at 1:56 PM on January 27, 2011 [12 favorites]

They're still going to cost six bucks a box and be mostly plastic packaging, right?
FTFY, bondcliff :-)

/I'll still have to buy them because I don't want the little blonde 4th grade girl at my church to cry.
posted by randomkeystrike at 1:58 PM on January 27, 2011

Important website: Where to get Girl Scout cookies in your area.

It's worth remembering that they go on sale at different times of the year in different regions.

Also of note, an iPhone app (not all areas covered).
posted by ZeusHumms at 1:58 PM on January 27, 2011

Is this the place where I can mention I miss the Choc-o-Mint cookies from the vending machines of my youth?
posted by adipocere at 1:59 PM on January 27, 2011

They had Dulce de Leche and Thank U Berry Munch? I didn't even know those were flavors! I've had to resort to buying my Girl Scout Cookies on eBay every year because I don't know anyone with a girl scout in the family, and entering my email address into the form on their web site on several occasions never resulted in them contacting me as promised. Doesn't someone want to market to me?

Why do I even bother? I wasn't allowed to join the Girl Scouts with my sister because the troop leader didn't want a kid with crutches and my mom didn't want to bring me anyway. It's those tasty, tasty Samoas that make you forget your civil rights have been repeatedly violated...
posted by Soliloquy at 2:02 PM on January 27, 2011 [2 favorites]

I freaking hated being a girl scout and quit after my first year (nothing could be more boring than to fabric paint a sit-upon, color things on a worksheet, and camp *indoors*), but I will forever support their organization via cookie sales.
posted by so_gracefully at 2:05 PM on January 27, 2011 [2 favorites]

I'm going to miss the Lemonades. And you can get Thin Mints from Keebler. They're called Grasshoppers.
posted by nushustu at 2:07 PM on January 27, 2011 [3 favorites]

You know, I'd be willing to donate a ten spot or so to the girl scouts, but I have never liked their cookies.

commence with the burning-at-the-stake.
posted by edgeways at 2:09 PM on January 27, 2011

I wanted to buy Thin Mints all last cookie season and I did not see one Girl Scout standing out in front of a grocery store.

I was never worried Thin Mints were going anywhere, despite the scary headlines. Those cookies are probably a third of their sales.
posted by asciident at 2:10 PM on January 27, 2011

Samoas are safe, so I'm good. Though, if they are reducing the number in a box, there's probably only four in a box, now.

An aside...Anyone else having issues with that WSJ page in Firefox? As in none of the formatting loading? Works fine in Safari, though.
posted by Thorzdad at 2:10 PM on January 27, 2011

From the article:

"I was thinking if we would have sold enough of the new cookies last year, they might have given them a chance," says Josephine Woytas, a 12-year-old scout in Oologah, Okla., who with her sister Isabelle sold more than 1,100 boxes of cookies last year.

Her family still craves the caramel Dulce de Leche cookies so much that they hoarded a few boxes last year and are rationing cookies to make them last as long as possible.

"I can't believe they took those away," young Ms. Woytas says. "We liked them so much I ordered a box and paid for it all by myself, and then my dad went behind my back and ate them."

Her dad bought her a replacement box, but Ms. Woytas says she has learned a marketing lesson: "I guess what it comes down to is the consumer's choice."

WHAT A BASTARD!!!! You ate your little girl's personal box she paid for herself after selling OVER A THOUSAND COOKIES?!?!?

Oh well, Josephine called him out to the reporter, at least - you go, Girl (Scout)!
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 2:13 PM on January 27, 2011 [3 favorites]

Is this where I complain about the girl whose dad was a doctor and she sold cookies to all his patients and country club buddies and won "most sales" every year without even having to walk around the neighborhood (Alone! It used to be allowed, kids.) all day?

Not that I'm bitter...
posted by JoanArkham at 2:14 PM on January 27, 2011 [9 favorites]

whoops, over a thousand boxes - though people are right, there's like 10 cookies in there now as-is. :( Tagalongs are my favorite - hooray for keeping them!
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 2:14 PM on January 27, 2011

For most of my life, my Aunt Constance worked in a couple of big Girl Scout councils, for the last 10 years or so as a director. We used to get cases of Thin Mints in the mail. I would, almost invariably, gorge myself to the point of disgust, then stash the remainder in the freezer and have enough frozen mint cookies to sate my appetite for the rest of the year.

Aunt Connie retired from the Girl Scouts a couple of years back.

Nothing gold can stay.
posted by brennen at 2:15 PM on January 27, 2011 [3 favorites]

Ooh, time to start announcing I'm a Thin Mint addict and see which of the parents I know is ready to supply me with the goods. I wish there were a cookie like it I could buy all year, but there's nothing like digging into the back of the freezer toward the end of the summer and finding the last box of Thin Mints, and eating them a few at a time, sharp and cold and minty, when it's in triple digits outside.

(The rest of them I can take or leave. I'd rather buy Walker's shortbread at the supermarket any day than eat the Girl Scout variety. I was a Campfire Girl when I was little.)
posted by immlass at 2:19 PM on January 27, 2011

I was not a girl scout, but I love them now due to this previous thread.

Last year I was 8 months pregnant come cookie selling time. My husband was slightly overwhelmed by the size of my order. I finally threw out the last of the thin mints, and subsequently ordered more last week from my niece with the puppy dog eyes.
posted by fyrebelley at 2:22 PM on January 27, 2011 [1 favorite]

This also happened to me when I was 8. I busted my ass getting pledges for the swim laps for juvenile diabetes thing. Beating pavement, calling relatives, really hustling. After the results came in I got second to a kid who could barely swim 25 laps and had his dad do all of the soliciting and collecting.

My little girl busted her ass last year walking around various neighborhoods (my wife doesn't work, so she went with her) selling girl scout cookies. She sold over 400 boxes and basically doubled the next closest girl in the troop.

But the council leader (a bunch of troops make up a service unit, and a bunch of service units make up a council)....that was another story. One of the girls in the council sold a couple thousand. Obviously mom and dad helped by taking the paper to work (I gotta bring it in to mine, I forgot...) but it turns out that this little girl pounded as much pavement as my kid.
posted by taumeson at 2:22 PM on January 27, 2011

I really don't buy them anymore unless I happen to be passing a table selling them and I also happen to have cash in my pocket that doesn't have a purpose already.

I have a standing policy not to buy anything from those lazy kids standing in front of grocery store bothering people who just want to buy milk and bread, but if you knock on my door, I'll buy one of whatever you're selling (two, if you are doing it sans parental "help"^*).

^*Not as creepy as it sounds.
posted by madajb at 2:24 PM on January 27, 2011 [1 favorite]

On a side note to Burhanistan's comment:

When my little brother was in first grade his school held a Hop-A-Thon to raise funds for the MDA or some such. My dad somehow misread the form and accidentally pledged $1.00 for every hop my brother hopped in ten minutes. That little turd hopped his heart out, and my dad had to write a big fat check. My brother raised more money than any kid in the school, and he was invited to present his "check" on the local television station's pledge-a-thon. We all got dressed up and traveled to the mall for his five minutes of fame. Once we entered the mall, he promptly vomited and he didn't get to go on.

Moral of the story: Read the fine print.
posted by fyrebelley at 2:29 PM on January 27, 2011 [3 favorites]

Samoas != Caramel deLites. Depending on where you grew up and which bakery you grew up with, one of those is a pale, sawdusty equivalent of the other. cough cough Samoas are the better ones The Keebler equivalents are...a kind of methadone.

I was a scout through high school and we got sucked into being the cookie distribution house a few times. Inevitably there were a few leftovers from orders that didn't get picked up or the leftovers from a case that got ordered - if there were 13 boxes of Thin mints ordered, we'd have to get two cases and try to sell them outside the Finast, in March, in New England. The downstairs freezer became a cold treasure chest, full of the multicolored boxes of deliciousness as the year marched on.

In memorial to freezing my hands off in front of the grocery store, I always buy from girls stuck doing the same thing, in preference to ordering from someone's parent at work.
posted by cobaltnine at 2:31 PM on January 27, 2011 [1 favorite]

Thin Mints = Keebler Grasshoppers

Not even close.
posted by madajb at 2:33 PM on January 27, 2011 [1 favorite]

I am not a picky eater, but there is a small cadre of flavors to which I respond poorly. In an attempt to thin their ranks I have made efforts to win them over to the other side by a process of repeated exposure to the flavor in question, and I am glad to report that, thus far, all of my selected targets have yielded before my indomitable will.

There is one among their number that gives me pause, however, and whom I will not countenance: it is the flavor Chocolate-and-Mint. Prior to my discovery of this abominable, demonic union, I had chided the more cynical of my peers for their belief in a malevolent God, but now I see that that God is real, and that they are His servants! Yes, I see now that I am part of a dwindling and doomed resistance, a righteous order spread fatally thin, unknown to itself, across the dark surface of this odious Earth!

Alas, that I had been schooled to hold my tongue! But no; I have let it go free, and now the forces of evil conspire to lay upon it their devilish "treats." I sense those ghastly children drawing nearer, and I know that there is no hope left to me–
posted by invitapriore at 2:36 PM on January 27, 2011 [2 favorites]

CrayDrygu: " Samoas / Caramel deLites = Keebler Coconut Dreams"

OMG, cannot be unseen. This is not good. Typing this as I put on my shoes to go to the grocery store.
posted by theredpen at 2:40 PM on January 27, 2011 [2 favorites]

They should've kept the Lemonades. They filled a niche that none of the other cookies did; they would've become more popular in time.
posted by a snickering nuthatch at 2:45 PM on January 27, 2011

I love how Ted Nugent claims to be a Paragon of Real American Values because he doesn't do drugs and likes to shoot things, but sings songs about having sex with underage girls for a living.

Heh. He actually adopted a 13 year old Asian girl from Hawaii so he could fuck her. Who he then dumped after she grew up. I actually saw this on VH1's Behind the Music

Also, I find this thread pretty weird. I liked Thin Mints when I had them growing up, but they hardly compare to, say, Perperage Farm's Mint Milanos in deliciousness. I didn't even like the rest of the cookies that much. And they are expensive.
posted by delmoi at 2:51 PM on January 27, 2011 [2 favorites]

If they want to teach kids about commerce, they should have the girls actually bake the cookies, package them, and sell them themselves. They would learn about the entire production chain.
posted by delmoi at 2:52 PM on January 27, 2011 [5 favorites]

Obligatory. I'm pretty sure it's been linked from here before.
posted by gimonca at 2:56 PM on January 27, 2011

I have two sisters in Girl Scouts and my mother is a scout leader.

From up close the whole thing looks like a bit of a multi-level marketing scheme.

I buy the ciookies anyway.
posted by sourwookie at 3:08 PM on January 27, 2011 [1 favorite]

I love how the girls in the theft video are half-assedly pixilated, as if the local news producers were too disgusted to actually respect their anonymity.
posted by HeroZero at 3:14 PM on January 27, 2011

My workplace has now banned all fundraising programs. No more overpriced/delicious nut assortments, frozen pies, gourmet fruitcakes, or Girl Scout cookies.
posted by longsleeves at 3:14 PM on January 27, 2011 [3 favorites]

My daughter was in the Scouts for only two years, but it was long enough for my son's addiction to Thin Mints to take over. He used to spend his own money to buy two boxes he could eat all himself. To this day he still loves the Chocolate and Mint combination.
posted by garnetgirl at 3:25 PM on January 27, 2011

There is nothing as odious as importuning your coworkers to buy shit for their kids, or for your favorite charity. I'll do it, but I'll think you are an asshole for buttonholing me over it. Setting up a sheet in the break room and not mentioning it otherwise is tolerable though.

But then, all my favorite girl scout cookies have trans fats anyway.
posted by BrotherCaine at 3:33 PM on January 27, 2011 [1 favorite]

"Cookie sales have changed drastically since I was a girl," says Brandi Norman, whose 14-year-old daughter, Peach Norman Owen, sold 2,000 boxes of cookies last year in Cincinnati for the Western Ohio Council.

Oh come on now, we all know Brandi is selling those cookies through business associates, adult friends and camping out in front of grocery stores in upscale neighborhoods. Us crack addicts know the spots. I've bought 10 boxes from kids I've never met before and couldn't pick out of a lineup. If the war on drugs ever gets to these addictive gobs of crack I've been shelling out more money than I can afford for since I was a sophomore in high school, I'm screwed.
posted by cashman at 3:37 PM on January 27, 2011 [1 favorite]

I know Kellogg owns Keebler and one of the Girl Scout bakeries. I've eaten Thin Mints and Grasshoppers. It's close, but not quite right.
posted by asciident at 3:45 PM on January 27, 2011

At my old job, one of my coworkers raised a fit about the Girl Scout cookie signup sheet in the breakroom. Basically her position was that the general office rule was "no fundraising, recruitment, etc.) was allowed, but there was this unwritten exception for Girl Scout Cookies. Everyone else in the office basically took the logical counter-argument of "YOU SHUT YOUR STUPID MOUTH IF I DON'T GET MY COOKIES I WILL KILL YOU WITH MY FISTS!!!"

She eventually gave in, but did a lot of grumbling about how anybody could just go buy cookies anytime they wanted, and what a silly American tradition (she was a recent European transplant) and basically was a miserable sourpuss about the whole thing.
posted by billyfleetwood at 4:09 PM on January 27, 2011 [1 favorite]

They're not even good cookies. I buy them every year to show my support for my friends' kids. I open one box, take a bite of what tastes like cardboard and then give the rest away. And it's not always so easy to give them away. Everyone bought the same 3 or 4 or 8 boxes of cookies to show their support for the GIRL SCOUTS, and everyone's tasted theirs by now and thought, well shit, I could eat an Oreo or anything from Pepperidge Farm and it would taste a hell of a lot better than this, and what am I going to do with all these lousy cookies?

This year when my cookies get delivered I'm taking them straight to the food bank. And I'll feel a little guilty for doing even that because, well, they just aren't very good cookies.
posted by Kangaroo at 4:19 PM on January 27, 2011 [2 favorites]

It's all about the limited availability, people. We would freak out trying to buy "Mrs. Fold's Moist 'n Chewy Armpit Sandwich Cookies" if they were only around a couple months out of the year.
posted by orme at 4:33 PM on January 27, 2011 [2 favorites]

Agreed that the Back to Nature cookies are exactly like Thin Mints, but better. The first time I tried one, I realized I'd never have to eat another Girl Scout cookie again... I also realized how dangerous this was, because they're available at my local grocery store year round.

Also, the Newman's Hint O'Mint sandwich cookies are like the taste of Thin Mints in Oreo form. Mmm.
posted by rabbitrabbit at 4:50 PM on January 27, 2011

They're not even good cookies.
tastes like cardboard
it would taste a hell of a lot better than this
these lousy cookies

*faints dead away*
posted by cashman at 4:54 PM on January 27, 2011 [1 favorite]

I once chased down a Girl Scout outside my work who was carrying a basket because I thought she might have cookies. Turns out she was just helping her mom unload her dry cleaning...

I've been told they came out with diabetic friendly cookies, I wish they'd make some gluten free ones. February is just that much more dreary when you can't have Girl Scout Cookies.
posted by TooFewShoes at 4:55 PM on January 27, 2011

Are they made from real Girl Scouts?
posted by Multicellular Exothermic at 5:12 PM on January 27, 2011 [2 favorites]

Every year I pass by the token girl scout cookie table outside the grocery store and every year my only question is, "Have you taken out the trans fats yet?" Every year the answer is either, "What's that?" or just blank stares, by the girls and their mothers. These cookies are poison. POISON!
posted by wherever, whatever at 5:16 PM on January 27, 2011

My own ex-wife was cursed when it came to fundraisers. She was a GS troop leader. Come cookie time one year, she got confused about the difference between boxes and Boxes. Yeah, I know, right? Sheesh.

Anyway, she wound up ordering Boxes - in other words, cases - each with about ten to a dozen boxes inside. We paid for the extras out of our own pocket, and we had a lot of Girl Scout cookies. They lasted about a year.
posted by Xoebe at 6:22 PM on January 27, 2011

What, they're not saving enough money by using unpaid child labor as their sales staff?
posted by Sys Rq at 6:32 PM on January 27, 2011 [2 favorites]

my only question is, "Have you taken out the trans fats yet?"

Check out the nutrition facts here (click the "See a listing of ingredients and nutrition facts for all cookies" link on the right hand side). There are no trans fats in Girl Scout cookies, so the answer to your question appears to be 'yes.'
posted by jedicus at 6:59 PM on January 27, 2011 [1 favorite]

If you like the GSA give 'em a donation direct, and make your own thin mints.
posted by jfuller at 8:13 PM on January 27, 2011

Check out the nutrition facts here (click the "See a listing of ingredients and nutrition facts for all cookies" link on the right hand side). There are no trans fats in Girl Scout cookies, so the answer to your question appears to be 'yes.'

Thanks for getting my hopes up, jedicus, but if you look closely, 9 out of the 16 types of cookies on the page you linked to contain partially hydrogenated oils, aka trans fats. Just because the nutrition facts label says zero after trans fats doesn't mean it's not in there. You gotta read the ingredients.
posted by wherever, whatever at 9:14 PM on January 27, 2011 [1 favorite]

Re: Grasshoppers vs. Thin Mints, can it really be that no one in this thread remembers what Grasshoppers were like before they were redesigned ruined? The chocolate-and-mint sandwich cookies with the green frosting and the picture of a grasshopper on top?
posted by brennen at 9:22 PM on January 27, 2011

I've mentioned this in another thread, but while I know my sister did hard word selling the thousands of boxes she sold, the two kids who were sitting at a folding table at the global market place(?) in Waikkiki are my heroes. Absolute genius, since they've got a relatively scarce product, and pretty much anyone staying was bound to walk by at least twice. My wife had never seen them, and while she doesn't like mint (those thin mints lasted me nearly 6 months in the freezer), she ate all of the peanut butter patties behind my back.
posted by Ghidorah at 9:24 PM on January 27, 2011

They changed thin mints.

I don't think everyone understands this. The flavor of the original thin mints did indeed taste like it came straight out of God's easy-bake oven. But these current monstrosities masquerading as thin mints are not thin mints. I used to be able to eat an entire box in a single sitting, but the flavor and consistency of the cookie has become… well, there's no more scientific word for it than cheap and it tastes like it. Like when they change the filler for the dog food and hope nobody notices because, hey, how often do you eat dog food? Same with thin mints. Figure they only come 'round once a year and how good is your taste memory? Mine is pretty damned good, Girl Scouts of America. You aren't fooling me.

Thin mints used to be one of the few food items that I could get a box and go fucking house on it. But now they're shit. I don't know if it's because they took out the trans-fats or partially hydrogenated cow hoof or whatever. All I know is they fucking ruined my goddamned childhood, the bastards.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 10:23 PM on January 27, 2011 [2 favorites]

Funny Girl Scout cookie poster.
posted by Bruce H. at 10:29 PM on January 27, 2011

And not slowly, over a period of several days, like normal people apparently do.

Yeah, I was so proud of my growing self control when I made a box of shortbread trefoils last more than 18 hours. Now I realize it was probably just because the box that year was smaller than the previous year's.
posted by Bruce H. at 10:38 PM on January 27, 2011

Is this the thread where I (once again?) post a picture of me looking adorable and ready to sell.

One interesting thing is that there was a cracker among the cookies. Thin Mints were just called Mint Cookies. Trefoils were called Scot Teas (my favorites.)
posted by vespabelle at 10:52 PM on January 27, 2011 [6 favorites]

You can also make your own Samoas.

Mine turned out even more delicious than the Girl Scout variety, but they are a fiddly pain in the ass to make. I am not sure the awe and delight my coworkers showered me with when I showed up in the teachers' lounge with off-season Samoas was worth all the swearing and molten caramel adhering to my fingers and chocolate everywhere, but if you really want to be a hero they're probably worth the effort.
posted by charmedimsure at 11:42 PM on January 27, 2011 [1 favorite]

Sweet, cookie time! I always had a hard time tracking down cookies in New York City (which surprised me), but now I've moved back to a part of the world where we have the Grocery Store Door Girl Scouts, who I love. But only if an actual kid is taking money. If a mom is taking cash I'll find another table. Because how often do you get to transact business with a child?
posted by doift at 12:34 AM on January 28, 2011

Never get cheated again!! Always insist on cookies made with real Girl Scouts!!!!
posted by Twang at 1:15 AM on January 28, 2011 [1 favorite]

The cookies today are not like they were 40 years ago. Girl Scouts are okay, but keep their cookies away.

And Vespabelle, it is nice to hear someone remember "Scot Teas", which were my favorite also. Yes, as someone points out, Walker's are infinitely superior. Who ever saw Walkers in Michigan, in the 60's?
posted by Goofyy at 5:26 AM on January 28, 2011

An adorable old ad for cookies.

Any advertisement that climaxes with a domain name really doesn't count as 'old'.
posted by PeterMcDermott at 6:03 AM on January 28, 2011

if you look closely, 9 out of the 16 types of cookies on the page you linked to contain partially hydrogenated oils, aka trans fats.

Well then there are 7 types of Girl Scout cookies that are truly trans fat free. That's not too shabby (unless you don't like any of those kinds, I guess).

Apparently if there is less than .5g of trans fat per serving, then the manufacturer can still put 0g on the label. And "[c]ritics of the plan, including FDA advisor Dr. Carlos Camargo, have expressed concern that the 0.5 gram per serving threshold is too high to refer to a food as free of trans fat. This is because a person eating many servings of a product, or eating multiple products over the course of the day may still consume a significant amount of trans fat."

Since we're talking about Girl Scout cookies, it does seem all too possible to eat many servings in a sitting or eat multiple types over the course of a day (or both).
posted by jedicus at 6:48 AM on January 28, 2011 [1 favorite]

> I don't know if it's because they took out the trans-fats or partially hydrogenated cow hoof
> or whatever. All I know is they fucking ruined my goddamned childhood, the bastards.

Nothing's safe. Soylent Green used to be people but now it's just a cheap imitation.
posted by jfuller at 7:11 AM on January 28, 2011

They changed thin mints.

I wouldn't be surprised if that is true since they've changed everything else. On the other hand, my tolerance for sweets is a lot lower these days so in my case, it may just be me.

My husband just sent me a forwarded email from his office from the parent who supplies the crack at his office. In Austin cookies are $3.50, but the real news is the trick they've hit on to sell more boxes: you can buy a box and donate it to our soldiers serving overseas. Given how close we are here to Ft. Hood and how many people, even in liberal Austin, know someone who is doing their military service (or someone whose kid is), this is a clever way to boost sales.
posted by immlass at 7:45 AM on January 28, 2011

Back to Nature Fudge Mints kick the crap out of those vile discs of dogshit known as Thin Mints.

FUCKING. TAKE. THAT. BACK.

Seriously, I destroy boxes of thin mints. I inhale those delicious sleeves. I'll sit down with a box of thin mints and wake up hours later surrounded by crumbs and my blood sugar will be through the roof.

If they ever stop making thin mints, I am going to rampage SO FUCKING HARD.
posted by thsmchnekllsfascists at 7:57 AM on January 28, 2011 [1 favorite]

I think this is the tool I used previously when trying to find cookies - girl scout cookie locator.

I have your back, fellow cookie fiends. Follow me, and we will BATHE in cookies! and then eat them.
posted by cashman at 9:35 AM on January 28, 2011

We buy so many Girl Scout cookies that I used to buy from multiple Girl Scouts because I was embarrassed about how many we wanted (it doesn't help that several of my sources were at my Quaker meeting. Quakers are like the poster children for guilt of all kinds and when the girls came with their sign-up sheets everybody would be like, "I'll buy one box to support Madison, but I never eat any because sugar is Evil." And then I'd be like, "Thin Mints 10, Tagalongs 6, Trefoil 4..."

Then I made friends with a woman who is like the scout leader from hell. She leads at least two girl scout troops, and they are alway doing cool things. She's always got 20+ kids in her tiny living room, or she'll say, "Let's meet at the park, I'll bring snacks," and the "snacks" she brings will be like all the fixings to do hobo pies (both sweet and savory), solar-oven cake, s'mores, and banana boats for 40 children. Plus hot dogs with fixings for kids who don't like any of that.

I just buy as many cookies as we want from her now. She knows no shame or judgment when it comes to Girl Scout cookies.
posted by not that girl at 12:34 PM on January 28, 2011 [2 favorites]

thsmchnekllsfascists, have you ever tried the Back to Nature cookies? They really are like Thin Mints, but better (I didn't think it was possible either).
posted by rabbitrabbit at 1:52 PM on January 28, 2011

And you can get Thin Mints from Keebler. They're called Grasshoppers.

Having just returned from the grocery store with two bags of Grasshoppers to test this assertion, please accept my deepest thanks. This bit of information has improved my quality of life.
posted by Dr. Zira at 4:20 PM on January 28, 2011

Yeah, I'll say it again: GS Thin Mints are doggy doo baked around cardboard compared to Back to Nature Fudge Mints.

Et tu, Brute?
posted by cashman at 4:42 PM on January 28, 2011 [1 favorite]

Tagalongs, samoas, thin mints all have trans fats, so that's like 85% of their sales or something. I think lemon chalets are tf free and tasty though.
posted by BrotherCaine at 11:43 PM on January 29, 2011

Sorry, but they literally taste identical to me.

They're not even good cookies.

You people with your broken mouths make me terribly sad.
posted by FatherDagon at 2:37 PM on January 31, 2011 [1 favorite]