Ask not what your country can do for you ask DOES YOUR COUNTRY EVEN LIFT
May 23, 2015 9:14 PM Subscribe
Oh my god, my high school almost exclusively consisted (and still consists) of these kinds of guys.
This is wonderful. And by wonderful, I mean so funny because these bros are just so gosh darn awful, all you can do is laugh (so you don't cry).
posted by ourt at 9:28 PM on May 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
This is wonderful. And by wonderful, I mean so funny because these bros are just so gosh darn awful, all you can do is laugh (so you don't cry).
posted by ourt at 9:28 PM on May 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
Well I'm convinced
posted by slater at 9:28 PM on May 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by slater at 9:28 PM on May 23, 2015 [1 favorite]
How could you leave out the best of them all: Do You Even Lift?
posted by scaryblackdeath at 10:18 PM on May 23, 2015 [9 favorites]
posted by scaryblackdeath at 10:18 PM on May 23, 2015 [9 favorites]
The scary thing is I know people who would read this as 100% straight good advice.
posted by Dr Dracator at 10:32 PM on May 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Dr Dracator at 10:32 PM on May 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
My personal favorite, because I've repeatedly seen some of these in the gym: 10 Machines You Didn't Know Were Bicep Machines.
posted by sbutler at 11:03 PM on May 23, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by sbutler at 11:03 PM on May 23, 2015 [5 favorites]
I am going to go watch these at the gym, where they can do the greatest possible harm.
posted by louche mustachio at 11:40 PM on May 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by louche mustachio at 11:40 PM on May 23, 2015 [2 favorites]
I once watch a dudebro use a flabbergasted woman as a weight in the gym.
.
I had to recite the Litany Against Fear to overcome that shit.
posted by Foci for Analysis at 2:00 AM on May 24, 2015 [11 favorites]
.
I had to recite the Litany Against Fear to overcome that shit.
posted by Foci for Analysis at 2:00 AM on May 24, 2015 [11 favorites]
Am I a bad person because all the links in this thread have already been followed in my browser?
posted by mikelieman at 3:27 AM on May 24, 2015 [7 favorites]
posted by mikelieman at 3:27 AM on May 24, 2015 [7 favorites]
And the biggest lesson learned, you don't waste time asking someone to spot you. Just look at someone and go "Yo, come here and WATCH ME lift this.."
posted by mikelieman at 3:32 AM on May 24, 2015
posted by mikelieman at 3:32 AM on May 24, 2015
I like to think of gyms as safe spaces for emotionally challenged men.
posted by fullerine at 3:38 AM on May 24, 2015 [10 favorites]
posted by fullerine at 3:38 AM on May 24, 2015 [10 favorites]
This is gold (AKA the sun)
posted by Potomac Avenue at 3:47 AM on May 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Potomac Avenue at 3:47 AM on May 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
I love how this can't be 100% parody because the guy is actually legitimately ripped.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 3:47 AM on May 24, 2015 [8 favorites]
posted by Potomac Avenue at 3:47 AM on May 24, 2015 [8 favorites]
You can't even talk about the broscience channel without talking about the chicken video.
posted by emptythought at 4:46 AM on May 24, 2015 [10 favorites]
posted by emptythought at 4:46 AM on May 24, 2015 [10 favorites]
My flat mate is a huge Dom Mazzetti fan and barely a week goes by without him dropping a quote from one of the videos.
Which is also the reason I can never show him this AOL Follow Me thingy where you get to know Mike & Gian behind the camera a bit [SLYT].
posted by bigendian at 4:49 AM on May 24, 2015 [6 favorites]
Which is also the reason I can never show him this AOL Follow Me thingy where you get to know Mike & Gian behind the camera a bit [SLYT].
posted by bigendian at 4:49 AM on May 24, 2015 [6 favorites]
And also the popups:
"Why should you listen to me?"
DON'T
posted by kinetic at 6:11 AM on May 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
"Why should you listen to me?"
DON'T
posted by kinetic at 6:11 AM on May 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
Since discovering this channel, I can't do a single dumbbell lateral raise without hearing "SHOULDER BOY TELL 'EM" in my head.
posted by erlking at 7:14 AM on May 24, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by erlking at 7:14 AM on May 24, 2015 [4 favorites]
My favourite is the 100 Ways To Say Jacked video; the phrase "Museum of Muscle History" has somehow wedged itself firmly in my mind, and the way he always starts the phrase with his hands together and then gestures when he says something is weirdly hypnotic.
posted by cyberscythe at 8:21 AM on May 24, 2015 [5 favorites]
posted by cyberscythe at 8:21 AM on May 24, 2015 [5 favorites]
My limbic brain is why I love people like this. I use my body to carry my head around, I stumble over tile variations. He is from a different planet than mine, it is too late to book the flight.
posted by Oyéah at 8:50 AM on May 24, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by Oyéah at 8:50 AM on May 24, 2015 [4 favorites]
It's my new goal in life to use the phrase "cash rock thunder mammal" in an everyday setting.
posted by T.D. Strange at 8:52 AM on May 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by T.D. Strange at 8:52 AM on May 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
I just died over the chicken one. We've been eating a lot of chicken breasts in our house in an attempt to eat healthyier and at some point, it became such a chore (even with no flavor restrictions!). It hit a little too close to home.
posted by [insert clever name here] at 10:04 AM on May 24, 2015
posted by [insert clever name here] at 10:04 AM on May 24, 2015
One of my favorite Dom quotes is "No one knows if clean bulking works, because no one has actually done it."
posted by A Bad Catholic at 10:08 AM on May 24, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by A Bad Catholic at 10:08 AM on May 24, 2015 [4 favorites]
My first thought was that I felt like I was watching a combination of Mac and Charlie from Always Sunny.
My second thought was that this is like the evil version of the Idea Channel.
I didn't have a third thought because I was still laughing over something from Do You Even Lift?
And the chicken one; the number of cuts between every. single. sentence. is brilliant.
I also love how, as much as he nails the speaking pattern, every once in a while, a bit of the articulate Mike slips through.
(And the random gunshot poses. Awesome.)
posted by quin at 10:14 AM on May 24, 2015
My second thought was that this is like the evil version of the Idea Channel.
I didn't have a third thought because I was still laughing over something from Do You Even Lift?
And the chicken one; the number of cuts between every. single. sentence. is brilliant.
I also love how, as much as he nails the speaking pattern, every once in a while, a bit of the articulate Mike slips through.
(And the random gunshot poses. Awesome.)
posted by quin at 10:14 AM on May 24, 2015
Literally every poster on /fit/ is this guy.
posted by Aya Hirano on the Astral Plane at 12:12 PM on May 24, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Aya Hirano on the Astral Plane at 12:12 PM on May 24, 2015 [2 favorites]
He's like if Strong Bad, My New Haircut, and Trale Lewous had some kind of threebaby.
posted by Mister Moofoo at 12:19 PM on May 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by Mister Moofoo at 12:19 PM on May 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
Every time I go to the gym I remind myself not to be a half repper. Dom is hysterical.
posted by gingerest at 2:52 PM on May 24, 2015
posted by gingerest at 2:52 PM on May 24, 2015
I love how this can't be 100% parody because the guy is actually legitimately ripped.
He's really an Italian dude from Jersey too it's a sharp parody but pretty clearly partly affectionate.
posted by atoxyl at 4:32 PM on May 24, 2015 [2 favorites]
He's really an Italian dude from Jersey too it's a sharp parody but pretty clearly partly affectionate.
posted by atoxyl at 4:32 PM on May 24, 2015 [2 favorites]
The affectionate part is a lot of why it's appealing, to me. Gym culture can be exhausting and alienating, but Dom is both one of those guys and a secretly reasonable person. Half repping is bad not because it's an insult to real lifters (Dom's explanation) but because it favors bragging rights over form and real progress. That barely-hidden agenda of making the gym fun for non-bros is part reclaiming the gym from a sick sulture and part reclaiming the culture itself from the humorless roid-ragey self-important segment. It's okay to be a bro if you can laugh at yourself, and it's okay not to be a bro and still want to lift.
posted by gingerest at 4:54 PM on May 24, 2015 [8 favorites]
posted by gingerest at 4:54 PM on May 24, 2015 [8 favorites]
I think good parody pretty much has to be rooted in some level of affection or it just comes off as obnoxiously bitter.
posted by Gymnopedist at 7:31 PM on May 24, 2015 [2 favorites]
posted by Gymnopedist at 7:31 PM on May 24, 2015 [2 favorites]
"Bro, do you even math?" is clearly going to become part of my lexicon now.
posted by TwoStride at 7:41 PM on May 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by TwoStride at 7:41 PM on May 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
There's a moment in the "People You Hate at the Gym" video where he's hating on CrossFit and he pulls himself into an L-sit (I think? I had to Google) on the rings to demonstrate how annoying CrossFitters are, and there's a breaking-character moment of "Holy shit, I did that!" on his face, and it's very endearing.
posted by jaguar at 8:40 PM on May 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
posted by jaguar at 8:40 PM on May 24, 2015 [1 favorite]
My gym is terrible for people not putting weights away / putting weights away incorrectly, and my usually inarticulate irritation was eternally given words by his "these are people who dropped out of school before they learned how to count by 5 or how to match shapes."
posted by erlking at 1:26 PM on May 25, 2015 [4 favorites]
posted by erlking at 1:26 PM on May 25, 2015 [4 favorites]
I just died over the chicken one. We've been eating a lot of chicken breasts in our house in an attempt to eat healthyier and at some point, it became such a chore (even with no flavor restrictions!). It hit a little too close to home.
Three words. Tamarind soup mix.
I eat shocking amounts of chicken and turkey breasts now, and that stuff is magic awesome flavor powder. Add more herbs and spices to taste, of course (mmm rosemary) but the tamarind gives it a nice kick of acid and salt.
I want no part of any diet that will not let me add tamarind soup mix to things.
posted by louche mustachio at 11:07 PM on May 25, 2015
Three words. Tamarind soup mix.
I eat shocking amounts of chicken and turkey breasts now, and that stuff is magic awesome flavor powder. Add more herbs and spices to taste, of course (mmm rosemary) but the tamarind gives it a nice kick of acid and salt.
I want no part of any diet that will not let me add tamarind soup mix to things.
posted by louche mustachio at 11:07 PM on May 25, 2015
I proudly wear my Do You Even Lift? flowchart T-shirt on squat day.
posted by culfinglin at 9:41 AM on May 26, 2015
posted by culfinglin at 9:41 AM on May 26, 2015
Oh, holy crap, these are awesome.
True story--a hundred years ago, like in the early '90s, I used to work out at a gym in
Roseville, Minnesota where Dom would've fit right in (except for the Minnesota part). It was not only a total bro gym, it was . . . . wait for it . . . . RUN BY THE GUYS WHO INVENTED ZUBAZ! YES! They had this big warehouse space, and half the space was full of weights and squat racks, and other half was full of cartons of Zubas being packed up and shipped out. It was actually kind of a great place for me to lift, because as a 40-something woman in baggy sweats I was *totally invisible*.
Anyway, these totally take me back to those days. Thanks so much for posting!
posted by Kat Allison at 9:10 PM on May 26, 2015
True story--a hundred years ago, like in the early '90s, I used to work out at a gym in
Roseville, Minnesota where Dom would've fit right in (except for the Minnesota part). It was not only a total bro gym, it was . . . . wait for it . . . . RUN BY THE GUYS WHO INVENTED ZUBAZ! YES! They had this big warehouse space, and half the space was full of weights and squat racks, and other half was full of cartons of Zubas being packed up and shipped out. It was actually kind of a great place for me to lift, because as a 40-something woman in baggy sweats I was *totally invisible*.
Anyway, these totally take me back to those days. Thanks so much for posting!
posted by Kat Allison at 9:10 PM on May 26, 2015
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Reps for Jesus!
posted by Edgewise at 9:25 PM on May 23, 2015 [7 favorites]