The Date Between Wolf Girl And James Spader's Lonely Doppleganger

October 26, 2017 1:53 PM

In Which Sarah Gailey Witnesses A Conversation Between Not James Spader And A Bedraggled Young Lady
posted by dannyboybell (22 comments total)

They seemed well suited to each other. I wish them happiness.
posted by GenjiandProust at 2:00 PM on October 26, 2017 [3 favorites]

I mean, pigs don't eat cats as a rule, but they aren't picky. If you're a farm cat and you wander into the pig pen, you are running a genuine risk.
posted by maxsparber at 2:07 PM on October 26, 2017 [9 favorites]

I don't want to completely derail this conversation but I still feel like I need to share this concern. This trend of listening in on other people's conversations and then live-blogging/tweeting is really odd to me. I'm conflicted because on the one hand, a lot of these stories are really fascinating. On the other, there's an element of shaming/exploitation for the sake of entertainment and it feels really gross.
posted by Fizz at 2:21 PM on October 26, 2017 [22 favorites]

lots of people aren't James Spader tho

most of us, really
posted by clockzero at 2:38 PM on October 26, 2017 [7 favorites]

lots of people aren't James Spader tho

Some days you wake up John Malkovich. Other days you wake up as John Cusack. Every day is a gamble.
posted by Fizz at 2:42 PM on October 26, 2017 [4 favorites]

#notallnonspadersjames
posted by sandettie light vessel automatic at 2:48 PM on October 26, 2017 [1 favorite]

This trend of listening in on other people's conversations and then live-blogging/tweeting is really odd to me

Yeah it used to be you'd save the good language to steal for your novel. (Invented stuff goes to the Metropolitan Diary section of the NYT.)
posted by Nelson at 2:52 PM on October 26, 2017 [3 favorites]

This trend of listening in on other people's conversations and then live-blogging/tweeting is really odd to me.

I’m pretty good with the the moral line being the same as the legal one: there is no reasonable expectation of privacy if you’re in a public place talking loud enough for the table next to you to hear the convo you’re having with your underage wolf girl date
posted by danny the boy at 2:52 PM on October 26, 2017 [28 favorites]

Like I was just having lunch and I couldn’t hear my own god damned thoughts for the conversation the table next to us were having. Like we are now part of your conversation, against our will. Anything that is going to encourage more discretion in public life is a net positive in my book...
posted by danny the boy at 2:55 PM on October 26, 2017 [3 favorites]

It sure looks like a young Clint Eastwood, made a cameo on Gailey's book cover.
posted by Oyéah at 2:56 PM on October 26, 2017

Growing up in a small town with insomnia I learned that pigs are the primary consumer of unsold donuts, so I feel pretty good about eating pork, myself.
posted by rodlymight at 3:44 PM on October 26, 2017 [6 favorites]

Growing up in a small town with insomnia I learned that pigs are the primary consumer of unsold donuts, so I feel pretty good about eating pork, myself.

Sounds like a circle of life type of situation. DONUTS > PIGS > HUMAN.
posted by Fizz at 4:00 PM on October 26, 2017 [2 favorites]

Are you suggesting that donuts eat humans?
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:12 PM on October 26, 2017 [9 favorites]

Are you suggesting that donuts eat humans?

In a manner of speaking. From the inside out.

Alternately, there's probably a metaphor about police violence lurking somewhere in there.
posted by eviemath at 4:18 PM on October 26, 2017 [7 favorites]

a small town with insomnia

Sometime after midnight every citizen shuffles to the Waffle House across from the sheriff's office to sigh curses into a half empty water glass.

A girl in wolf pajamas sits by the front door waiting for James Spader.
posted by Ice Cream Socialist at 4:33 PM on October 26, 2017 [13 favorites]

... but she will settle for Not James Spader.
posted by ricochet biscuit at 6:56 PM on October 26, 2017 [1 favorite]

This sort of sounds like Gailey was witnessing a scene from a movie featuring a Manic Pixie Dream Girl. Like, possibly, Ms. Wolf Onesy will take James Spader out to a primal scream therapy group, and then teach him to sew, and help him to rediscover his lost muse and overcome his writer's block.
We are all, all of us, mere extras in the ballad of Spader Man and Wolf Onesy.
posted by LeRoienJaune at 10:36 PM on October 26, 2017 [4 favorites]

Was it not James Spader, or not John Lithgow? I swear James Spader is morphing into John Lithgow these days, and I can totally picture Lithgow in that scenario with zero cognitive dissonance. If anything I'd expect it to be more odd.
posted by threecheesetrees at 1:57 AM on October 27, 2017 [2 favorites]

I can imagine a character in a lesser Syfy series being named “Wolf Onsey.”
posted by GenjiandProust at 5:21 AM on October 27, 2017 [2 favorites]

I've binge-watched enough of The Blacklist to have adopted some Spaderisms myself, although on a thankfully temporary basis. I can see where the temptation to become Almost-James-Spader could become nearly irresistible in certain circumstances.

I now limit myself to an episode a week or so, or I find myself Spadering for a couple of days afterwards.
posted by MrVisible at 7:59 AM on October 27, 2017 [1 favorite]

Not James Spader just don't dig on swine, that's all.
posted by Halloween Jack at 8:23 AM on October 27, 2017 [1 favorite]

Spader Man
Why didn't I think of that?
Moreover, why didn't Gailey?
posted by dannyboybell at 11:51 AM on October 27, 2017