North Pole Toy Factory outsources catalog mail services to Anchorage

December 2, 2017 8:08 PM

Letters from [and to] Santa must be received by the Anchorage, AK, Postmaster no later than December 15. Santa’s helpers in Anchorage, AK, will take care of the rest!
posted by not_on_display (8 comments total)

Why not just take it all the way to the top (of the world)?

SANTA CLAUS
NORTH POLE H0H 0H0
CANADA
posted by hangashore at 8:34 PM on December 2, 2017 [7 favorites]

U.S. vs. Canada... what, Russia hasn't gotten in on the act yet?
posted by oneswellfoop at 8:43 PM on December 2, 2017

Wait. The US Postal Service has an official "sorry I got your letter late; be more punctual next year" letter from Santa? (This PDF of "sample letters," last page.)
posted by zachlipton at 8:45 PM on December 2, 2017 [1 favorite]

Yeah Christmas is the highlight of the year for the normally bored technician at CFB Alert who's job is normally to watch the ice melt and be on the lookout for Russian planes, for a month out of the year they get to write a bunch of reply letters to the mail that starts coming in in November.
posted by Space Coyote at 8:47 PM on December 2, 2017 [1 favorite]

Please, thanks to global warming, the north pole toy factory is soon to be open ocean ... Thankfully those of us here in New Zealand who grew up with weather radar pictures showing Santa on his way up from the South know that all is not lost
posted by mbo at 8:47 PM on December 2, 2017 [2 favorites]

And it turns out Canada Post is one-upping them with an "emergency letter" that says a mail sorter broke down and shredded all the mail. Which...I'm not sure the aim of this program is to teach children the postal service is unreliable and destroys letters, but here we are.
posted by zachlipton at 8:51 PM on December 2, 2017 [3 favorites]

That’s because Satan’s an international rockstar all year round.
posted by GrammarMoses at 7:05 AM on December 3, 2017

It shocks me that nobody has figured out the misdirection in all these years. Turns out Santa was one of those back to the land hippies back in the early 70s and he ended up in Arkansas just a bit southwest of Yellville and Flippin. That's why they assigned the ZIP code that spells out Santa on a telephone keypad there. ;)

Satan, however, winters in Florida east of Lakeland and summers a few miles south of where my mom got her associate's degree, which is why it's hot as Satan's balls in the summer in western Arkansas.
posted by wierdo at 9:23 AM on December 3, 2017 [1 favorite]