“Period pain isn’t normal”: People test a period pain simulator
August 16, 2022 8:10 AM   Subscribe

Somedays, a gender-inclusive period pain relief company, demonstrated a period pain simulator at the Calgary Stampede. People who don’t get periods tested it out, with illuminating results. “This is awful,” said one cowboy. Two healthcare workers tried it out to find out what some of their patients experience. This guy gave his honest opinion on how it compared to being kicked in the testicles. At a pop up in Vancouver, a man with four daughters tried out the simulator to see what they go through.

Domunique Lashay (she/her) and Lux Perry (they/them) co-founded Somedays because of living with the pain of endometriosis.
Lashay told us that people with periods will spend an average of 10 years on their period, which is 3,500 days of bleeding. “That’s a lot of time spent in pain for the 80% of people with periods that report having moderate to severe pain during their cycle. That’s like sitting on the sidelines for 10 entire years for some of us.”
Somedays’ TikTok page, with more videos of people testing the period pain simulator, plus a gender inclusive period commercial.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl (80 comments total) 38 users marked this as a favorite
 
In a non-professional setting...
posted by dobbs at 8:21 AM on August 16, 2022 [5 favorites]


Speaking as a person who is currently having a mildly painful period, I would be sort of interested in trying a period pain simulator, just out interest in, like, where my normal period pain ranks.

It looks like they're probably just using a tens machine to stimulate the abdominal muscles. I wonder how they've calibrated it to levels of period pain?
posted by jacquilynne at 8:34 AM on August 16, 2022 [22 favorites]


I am currently riding out an IUD until menopause (an option that is not applicable for all) because after over thirty years of intense period pain and heavy flows, I just couldn't take it anymore. I would love to see very sexist attitudes change over a biological process that we have no control over. It sucks to lose time and days to your menstrual cycle.
posted by Kitteh at 8:38 AM on August 16, 2022 [21 favorites]


I would love to test this & tell them how accurate it is. For reference I have the following custom values for tracking my period pain:
5. Earth-shaking
4. Fuck
3. Yep.
2. Premonitions
1. Nothing
posted by bleep at 8:45 AM on August 16, 2022 [13 favorites]


This comment from the kick in the nuts comparison is quite eye opening:
“you should make them smile and do customer service”
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 8:45 AM on August 16, 2022 [62 favorites]


As a man, I think a lot of us could use 10 years of nut kicking.
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 8:47 AM on August 16, 2022 [9 favorites]


I wonder how they've calibrated it to levels of period pain?

It's sort of grotesque but if there's a way to do this that isn't "apply the device to someone who experiences severe period pain and turn the dial until they say 'yeah about that'," I can't think of it.
posted by mhoye at 8:58 AM on August 16, 2022 [15 favorites]


I was stabbed in the belly when I was 19yo. They had to slice my belly open to look at the damage, a negligible nick on my liver which wasn't a problem. However after the surgery I had water retention, I had to have a drain leading from my belly to a gore bag. This was for nine days in a hospital bed. I was given doses of morphine every four hours.

I was told this kind of fluid retention is common during menstruation and I am in awe.
posted by adept256 at 9:00 AM on August 16, 2022 [4 favorites]


It's sort of grotesque but if there's a way to do this that isn't "apply the device to someone who experiences severe period pain and turn the dial until they say 'yeah about that'," I can't think of it.

I suspect that's probably what was done, for sure. I mostly wonder how scientifically it was done. Like, this is a marketing exercise for a company that sells period pain relieving products. So, did they gather all their period-having staff in a conference room and make them pull up their shirts? Or was there actual science done?
posted by jacquilynne at 9:01 AM on August 16, 2022 [5 favorites]


This is why I've been on Depo-Provera since age 21 and my gyno said I can be on it until menopause.
posted by jenfullmoon at 9:03 AM on August 16, 2022 [8 favorites]


Though maybe there is a way to measure it in people who are having the pain already rather than inducing pain in them and relying on a subjective scale. Muscle cramps are a physical phenomenon -- can something about that be measured and duplicated?
posted by jacquilynne at 9:03 AM on August 16, 2022


What I do know is that my spouse and a close friend both had hysterectomies due to endometriosis/adenomyosis and both said that the recovery from the surgery was easier than an average month's period pain.

"Worse than surgery." Every single month.
posted by explosion at 9:06 AM on August 16, 2022 [29 favorites]


People on Twitter will tell you "severe period pain isn't normal, talk to your doctor" but every doctor visit has gone like this:

Doctor: Do you want to try birth control?

Me: Not really because I have a blood clotting disorder, and the one time I was on low-dose hormonal birth control I had a bad reaction to it.

Doctor: Well, I've tried nothing, and I'm all out of ideas.

[I am not asking for advice here, my period pain finally started to become more manageable in my late 30s, it's just frustrating.]
posted by Jeanne at 9:08 AM on August 16, 2022 [67 favorites]


Every person who runs for political office should have to try this as a condition of their candidacy. Managers and executives too, as part of their training.
posted by Orange Dinosaur Slide at 9:09 AM on August 16, 2022 [20 favorites]


It the first video, Lux says they calibrated it using their own pain with endo (10+, sometimes they end up in the ER), an offscreen colleague with what is described as physical period cramps at 5, and another colleague at 7.

There are some videos on the TikTok page where people who get periods try it out to see where their usual pain falls.

It is a Tens machine—in one article I read it said they tried some different ones to find one they felt was most accurate.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 9:10 AM on August 16, 2022 [6 favorites]


Well, this is a wonderful project & I commend the team's efforts. I hope some day we live in a world where people who are in pain are given medicine & rest.
posted by bleep at 9:18 AM on August 16, 2022 [15 favorites]


I (a cis man) learned about period pain and the endurance of period-having people from my ex, who broke her arm when she was in grade 6, kept it a secret and went about her life for a few days until a grown-up noticed her favouring it. So you know she's a stoic badass, right? For her, period pain was incapacitating. Unbelievable. I would like to try this machine.
posted by klanawa at 9:19 AM on August 16, 2022 [7 favorites]


In a few of the videos the organizers do say they tested the device on themselves and can verify its accuracy.

I don’t know if I ever had endometriosis, but I had cramps bad enough to sometimes make me puke as a teen, so I’m guessing I’ve hit a 10 more than once. Not-so-fond memories of curling up in bed (or worse, gripping the edge of my desk at school and sweating) waiting for a giant whack of ibuprofen to kick in. My mom said “well, now you know what labor pains are like,” but it was actually worse since no one expected me to also pay attention to a physics course while I was in labor.
posted by castlebravo at 9:20 AM on August 16, 2022 [34 favorites]


Endometriosis is one of the most neglected medical problems, and it’s financial toll alone is immense:
It has exacted a massive social cost in broken marriages and depression as well as being a huge economic burden, partly because of the large number of women who have to drop out of the workforce.

In the US, with 7.6 million women affected, the estimate was €70.9bn (£52.1bn, $80.4bn) a year; in the UK, which has 1.6 million sufferers, the cost was estimated in 2012 at €14.4bn (£10.6bn). In Australia, there may be 550,000 women affected, costing the economy A$6bn (£2.75bn).

The numbers are comparable to diabetes – and yet there is only a fraction of the awareness of the condition and help for those afflicted.
posted by jamjam at 9:21 AM on August 16, 2022 [23 favorites]


I no longer have periods (had a hysterectomy) but for some reason lately I'm feeling so angry about the level of pain I used to have during my periods. It was so bad that I sometimes used to pass out.
The most memorable time was the very first time I voted, it was South Africa's first democratic elections in 1994.

I was walking to the polls when I started cramping. I found a random building and went inside, luckily found the toilets, and just lay down on the concrete floor with my feet up on the toilet (that sometimes stopped me from passing out).

I waited for the cramps to pass, it took about an hour. Then, all spaced out from the amazing post pain endorphin rush, I went to vote.

Doctors just shrugged, it's just "part of being female" apparently.
posted by Zumbador at 9:24 AM on August 16, 2022 [31 favorites]


I had a medical procedure a while back in which, over the course of 15 minutes, I could control the rate of increase in the painfulness of the thing being done to me.

It's a crazy experience, playing off the perceived benefit (more pain possibly equals more therapy) and social pressure (this medical person wants me to ask for more pain) against, well, freaking terrible pain.

So, I know exactly what's going on in the head of that guy with the TENS electrodes, second by second. But I don't think that gives me much insight into what it's like to go through uncontrollable period pain for three days straight.
posted by gurple at 9:27 AM on August 16, 2022 [2 favorites]


And if someone had told me I should smile more I would have started kicking balls and never stopped.
posted by adept256 at 9:36 AM on August 16, 2022 [1 favorite]


When I first got periods I passed out more than once. Nobody seemed too worried. It got better but it was never good.

Evolution fucked us over big time in this area and I hope that someday most women don't have to have them, or that pain, anymore.
posted by emjaybee at 9:46 AM on August 16, 2022 [12 favorites]


During one of my doomed pregnancies I started having contractions at 19 weeks. I knew something wasn’t right but did it HURT hurt? Well not as bad as my usual period pain. So I waffled, then drove myself to the doctor, where she asked if I was having contractions and I said “I’m not sure.” (She checked. I was.)

I’ve never carried a baby long enough to go through labour, so I can’t compare to that and I know my contractions were not full labour. But I did feel vindicated in thinking that my usual period pain was bad since it was actually much worse than at least these early contractions that put me on bed rest.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 9:48 AM on August 16, 2022 [10 favorites]


Count me as another person who would love to try this, to see where my pain would rank on the scale, though I was definitely lucky in that I only had the worst pain on the first day, and only a couple of months a year were debilitating enough to make it difficult to function (and never so bad that I couldn't go to work). Much respect and sympathy to those of you with endometriosis.

One thing this leaves out, and it's understandable since they can't treat it, is that all this pain is happening while you're bleeding. And for people with endometriosis and some other conditions, sometimes while you're bleeding uncontrollably. So there's another level of discomfort they're not even taking into account here - and one that a lot of never-period-having people can't begin to fathom beyond some (often sexist) ick factor.

Plus, for the first few years, the first day of my period also came with a migraine, and often a nosebleed as well. So that was a treat.
posted by Mchelly at 9:57 AM on August 16, 2022 [18 favorites]


Not only pain + heavy bleeding, but often pain + heavy bleeding + diarrhoea and other gastrointestinal symptoms as well.
posted by Balthamos at 10:02 AM on August 16, 2022 [51 favorites]


and bloating and achy breasts and headaches and mood swings and psychotic food cravings.

I am in the process of becoming a "no longer menstruating person" wooo.
I had a very easy time, I have been very lucky.
as a teenager I was probably topping out at 5, on first day only. but I had a close friend who had to stay home from school on the first day, every month. she would be in bed, in agony, wrapped around a heating pad. a 10 for sure. and no one did anything about it.

as an adult I have been 0-2/3, in part due to hormonal birth control. but I have a dear friend with endo, omg, the suffering she went through!!! FOR YEARS to even be diagnosed, much less treated, which barely helped until she finally had an early hysterectomy.

endo can direly impact fertility also, so many who suffer with it and desire to get pregnant will go through years of frustration and disappointment.

we put a damn human on the moon, we can cure some cancers and do heart transplants. there has got to be more that medicine could do to help people going through this, EVERY MONTH, FOR YEARS. and give us the day(s) off of work, if you don't want to get bitten, or strangled with that one donut I haven't eaten yet.

TL;DR: this is really awesome and I hope it helps people and raises more awareness and compassion.
posted by supermedusa at 10:11 AM on August 16, 2022 [10 favorites]


Periods are one of the reasons flexible work-from-home arrangements are great for those who have them. It's not just the pain that is necessarily the issue. I think I've had a relatively easy go of it as far as periods are concerned but my cycle has presented differently at different times of my life. For a while, I always felt like I was coming down with a cold prior to my period. No cold would arrive and then I'd get my period. Then I'd forget about this symptom until the next month. What was great about that is that I would usually take a work-from-home day (back when I was in an office) because I was feeling under the weather.

Now, I'm in perimenopause and my hormonal cycle has some interesting features. One is a super heavy day. What's great about working from home is just easy access to things I need to cope with that, including fixing myself healthy food, a bathroom that I don't have to share, being able to lie down and stretch if I'm having muscle cramps or just take ten minutes with a cold towel over my eyes. I have always kept working through all my periods so this is no slip in productivity. But, being in the office while dealing with that without any of the helpful tools often did result in a less productive day plus vague animus toward our entire capitalist system, one which would step over my writhing body if it earned a buck.
posted by amanda at 10:23 AM on August 16, 2022 [25 favorites]


Yes, plus one million to the other shit that goes along with the pain! When I was younger, I hemorrhaged badly (and the horrific clots, which is gross, I know, but there you are) and I think about all the times I had to leave school with my jacket wrapped around my hips so I could hide the humiliating bleeding-through-my-clothing and then have to deal with not just that, but the pain no one seemed to believe I could be feeling, and cleaning my clothes, and myself. My mom got mild period pain but had a hysterectomy when I was fairly young, so I think she sort of forgot eventually, but all through school, no one ever took it seriously and it was the '60s and '70s, so there was literally no support, just "it's all in your head."

I can remember when the first studies came out proving there was an actual biological reason people were having pain and that cramps were real. But people still just told you to take a Midol and it'd be okay. Ibuprofen was a godsend compared to that and aspirin, but it still only made a mild dent in the pain, and only birth control pills saved me from the hemorrhaging. I confess I am interested in trying this, because now that I'm an Old and post-menopausal, I no longer have to contend with it, but wonder if it would match my memories of all those years of horror. Every time people would say I should embrace and love having a period, I wanted to scream in their face "shut the fuck up!"
posted by kitten kaboodle at 10:32 AM on August 16, 2022 [14 favorites]


Unfortunately, my sister's children (one of who identifies as female, another born female but isn't sure that that is their correct gender yet) are starting to go through menstruation and have just given her grief about "OMG WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN THIS IS BULLSHIT"

I'm like, "Yeah, kids, I know. And sadly you're part of a family of folks who have absolutely debilitating pain when they menstruate. I am so sorry."
posted by Kitteh at 10:55 AM on August 16, 2022 [3 favorites]


Put me down as another period haver who would love to try this out to see how my pain ranks comparatively. For me the intensely bad pain thankfully only lasts a couple of hours but it's completely incapacitating. Friends who have seen me cramping badly have been frightened. Codeine and CBD are the only drugs that have any impact and even then it only dulls the pain somewhat and only if taken immediately when the cramps start.

I have been lucky though that for the most part my body has almost always been kind enough to not hit me with with that at any really crucial times like an exam or important meeting.

It's astonishing that we don't better understand how to address period pain at this point in civilisation.
posted by roolya_boolya at 10:57 AM on August 16, 2022 [3 favorites]


Now, I'm in perimenopause and my hormonal cycle has some interesting features.

I can sum up the past 18 months as "progressively getting worse, this is total bullshit".

I have an appointment next week to make sure that a couple of the current symptoms are not due to a more serious underlying cause, but I am not hopeful for a response other than "suck it up" since that seems to have been the response from my NP for the past two years. At least the scheduler I talked to was very kind and seemed to enjoy me phrasing the issue as "uterine shenanigans".
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 10:57 AM on August 16, 2022 [4 favorites]


God. I'm experiencing menstrual nausea today for the first time ever at the age of 37 and just googled "hysterectomy" lolol. Cramps I can handle, but I can't countenance every-month nausea. I've been pregnant three times and that is all the hormonal nausea I ever want to experience. This is no way to live
posted by potrzebie at 12:05 PM on August 16, 2022 [3 favorites]


This discussion makes me ever so thankful that I have a hormonal IUD. I luck out and don’t get periods on them, so it’s been almost ten years since I’ve had one. Insertion is the single most painful thing I’ve ever done, but that was two times in ten years. Mirena is now good for seven years so I’ve got a little while before I need to face insertion again. I plan on having one until menopause (not too much longer).

They don’t work for everyone, and not everyone actually skips periods, but for those of us whom they do help it’s awesome. Also in response to the person above who can’t do hormonal bc because of a clotting issue, hormonal IUDs don’t have estrogen so should not affect clot risk (unlike some bc pills); they are also lower dose in the progestin they do have. So some people who can’t have bc pills can still do a hormonal IUD.

I wish I’d gotten an IUD as soon as I got my period. So much stress and pain and ick for 15 years that I could have just… not had. If I ever am in the position of giving related advice to a teenage uterus-haver I’m definitely going to mention them.
posted by nat at 12:14 PM on August 16, 2022 [7 favorites]


It's astonishing that we don't better understand how to address period pain at this point in civilisation.

Well, I'm not shocked that something women-centric hasn't been solved by now because who cares about women having pain, but also, I'm still shocked at a lot of things we still don't better understand how to address at this point, too.
posted by jenfullmoon at 12:31 PM on August 16, 2022 [8 favorites]


I just don't like the framing of moderate to severe period pain not being "normal". It's extremely common and natural, and it doesn't necessarily mean there's something messed up in the underlying systems - for me, it was just a bad side-effect of ordinary function. The thing that took me too many years to realize is that it didn't matter whether my pain was normal. If something about my body is causing difficulty for me, and I'd prefer it to not happen, I can talk to my doctor about options to make it not do that. I've been on continuous hormonal birth control for several years now, and it's been a major quality-of-life improvement.
posted by dreamyshade at 12:32 PM on August 16, 2022 [3 favorites]


Dreamyshade: I think that the word choice of whether it's "normal" is a pushback against the doctors who often tell women that "it happens, so you just need to grin and bear it".

The framing of it "not being normal" is more a way to encourage women to do exactly as you suggest, and talk to their doctors. So many women who suffer through period pain were once girls who complained of it to their mothers, and their mothers told them "this is just what happens, sweetie, you just have to learn to live with it." So "learning to live with it" is more the part that's not "normal", I think - but that doesn't fit as well on a sign.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 12:36 PM on August 16, 2022 [8 favorites]


I have a Mirena that's nearing its expiration date and I've had mixed feelings about the whole thing. The IUD insertion was far and away the most painful experience I've ever had in my life. For months after insertion, I had continuous bleeding and severe cramping. I was recommended to get a transvaginal ultrasound so they could see if the IUD was in the right place, which apparently it was. So they told me basically that my options were to either deal with it or get it removed and try something else. Having heard that the removal process is just as painful as the insertion process, I opted for the former. Admittedly, the convenience factor has been incredible and I barely bleed anymore, but the cramps I get are so much worse than they used to be that I had to get a vicodin prescription in order to deal with them. I'm terrified about the upcoming expiration date and I really don't know whether I want to go through the whole process again.
posted by cultanthropologist at 1:05 PM on August 16, 2022 [1 favorite]


I used to have horrendous period pain from when I started at age 11 -12 until my periods started tapering off about five years back. I used to get it so bad that if I didn't throw up then I would faint and sometimes both happened in the same day. I used to actually welcome the faint, because when I would come round all the muscles would have relaxed and I could just lie there on the floor in cool relief.

Strong painkillers and a hot water bottle, a day on my back and weirdly just really concentrating on the waves of pain as they arrived and then ebbed (I really don't know why I did it but it was worth it for noticing the slight sensations of relaxation when the muscles uncramped. Maybe someone can explain it, but it was a sort of process that I suppose gave me something else to concentrate on) were the only things that worked, and then only if I could get ahead of the pain.

What bothered me then and now in retrospect was telling a doctor about it and him saying that there was nothing I could take apart from the Pill. I once asked about the three inch long thing I passed that had been accompanied by a particularly bad pain and he said it was a blood clot (no, he hadn't seen it). It was not like any clot I'd ever seen, not dark red but purple, more like a piece of flesh or skin, and I would pass similar pieces intermittently throughout my period-having career, always accompanied by particularly bad pain. No one took it seriously, it was just a woman's thing and therefore more an irritation or something to be put up with. Even my mom (who was mostly sympathetic) would occasionally suggest that she got relief by scrubbing the kitchen floor so why didn't I try that? Because I knew my body and how it worked and trying any sort of exercise or vigorous movement would not help.

The videos made me laugh, but in a slightly rueful way (I also tried a TENS machine and it was intermittently useful). The people who took part were at least giving it a go and hopefully they came away with a bit more empathy for their friends and relatives who suffer. I have a (naive) theory that no one who hasn't worked a regular job for at least 10 years and paid bills and mortgage during that time should be allowed to become an MP, so along the same lines maybe anyone wanting to understand and successfully manage / medicate period-havers should be given one of these little gadgets and be encouraged to give it a go during a normal working day.
posted by Martha My Dear Prudence at 1:23 PM on August 16, 2022 [5 favorites]


People on Twitter will tell you "severe period pain isn't normal, talk to your doctor" but every doctor visit has gone like this:

Doctor: Do you want to try birth control?

Me: Not really because I have a blood clotting disorder, and the one time I was on low-dose hormonal birth control I had a bad reaction to it.

Doctor: Well, I've tried nothing, and I'm all out of ideas.


This was my experience as well across multiple doctors, and it eventually produced the intended result, which is that I stopped asking what could be done about my period pain or its attendant ever-evolving cast of bonus symptoms (nausea, diarrhea, hot flashes, breast pain, joint stiffness, headaches, depression...). I haven't passed out in a few years (CBD and also things eased up slightly in my 30s), but, you know. It's a different bingo card every month. I like to think my uterus has resigned itself to embryolessness and is now marshaling its resources to fuck with me in new and exciting ways as I approach menopause.

I knew something wasn’t right but did it HURT hurt? Well not as bad as my usual period pain.

Minimizing period pain habituates us to minimizing our pain in and out of reproductive health contexts, and this is so fucked up and it makes me so, so, so angry. If you menstruate you're just expected to live with levels of pain and discomfort that would throw up red flags for any other organ. I like to think a doctor would show some concern if my lungs or liver or kidneys were in this much pain* on a recurring basis but it's "just" period pain so....

*LOL, I like imagining universes in which doctors listen to a goddamned word I say
posted by Fish, fish, are you doing your duty? at 1:31 PM on August 16, 2022 [10 favorites]


I wonder what a pain relief company does.
posted by svenni at 1:36 PM on August 16, 2022


Y'all.

I literally just got out of an appointment to discuss surgery because of the fibroids that have been ruining my life for the last couple of years. I already went through one, terrible, painful procedure* to get rid of them (didn't take) and the fact that I'm about to go for elective round two of what I've previously described as “rather like being shot in the lady business with a flaming cannonball, and the flaming cannonball got stuck there" (self link) certainly says something about what period pain can be like for some of us.
posted by thivaia at 2:10 PM on August 16, 2022 [3 favorites]


When I was waffling about gender and going on testosterone, the most important thing that tipped it for me, and the thing I try to repeat to everyone when it's relevant, is, "You deserve relief from your symptoms."

You deserve relief.

And yeah more awareness and consciousness is an unalloyed good thing.
posted by Rainbo Vagrant at 2:11 PM on August 16, 2022 [3 favorites]


good timing on this: scotland just made period supplies free for everyone.
posted by Clowder of bats at 2:26 PM on August 16, 2022 [2 favorites]


I got an IUD in the late 60s (though not the dreaded Dalton Shield), and it made my already painful, copious period even more so. I also go a long string of yeast infections, so after a couple of horrible years, had it removed.
My painful periods were always 7-10 days long, with a very heavy flow and hard cramping the first couple days. That continued until perimenopause, when my periods got shorter, the flow heavier, and accompanied by both migraines and diarrhea. Ibuprofen was all any doc ever recommended.
I really don’t miss my monthlies, and am so glad that hormonal bc has improved beyond what was available when I was younger.
posted by dbmcd at 2:32 PM on August 16, 2022


I admit I'm still surprised my previous gyno tried to talk me into an IUD. Literally everyone talks about how excruciating they are, and it only "might" get rid of my periods (which Depo definitely did)? Heck no.
posted by jenfullmoon at 2:42 PM on August 16, 2022


The IUD insertion was far and away the most painful experience I've ever had in my life.

I read recently that IUD insertion/removal (and other procedures like hysteroscopy) is routinely done without any abatement offered for pain, due to the belief that that cervix doesn't have enough nerve connections to generate pain (primarily from Kinsey's research, because why do any further research, right?) Systemic and routine, this article describes how little consideration is given to pain management, characterizing it as 'just something women have to endure'.
posted by ApathyGirl at 2:53 PM on August 16, 2022 [16 favorites]


Literally everyone talks about how excruciating they are

Apparently doctors are still taught that the cervix has no nerve endings and that IUD insertion therefore requires no anesthetic. As someone who has never not cried during a pap smear, I've always known that is actually not true, but reading accounts of other people's insertions took the option right off the table for me. Like. You already don't believe me when I tell you the pap smear hurts, why would I let you traumatize me even harder with an IUD?
posted by Fish, fish, are you doing your duty? at 2:59 PM on August 16, 2022 [16 favorites]


(Jinx, ApathyGirl. I should've previewed.)
posted by Fish, fish, are you doing your duty? at 2:59 PM on August 16, 2022 [2 favorites]


I had hysteroscopy and biopsies when an ultrasound suggested there was an abnormal thickening of my uterine lining and I can confirm that the only pain relief I was given were two paracetamol after the event. I can also confirm it was uncomfortable shading into painful when the biopsies were done. I had a Mirena fitted at the same time that I didn't notice given everything else going on. That was recently removed and replaced, which I found a bit uncomfortable for three or four days, but was nothing compared to what some of you have described.
posted by Martha My Dear Prudence at 3:00 PM on August 16, 2022


I wonder what a pain relief company does.

They sell things like topical analgesic and anti-inflammatory creams, consumables like teas, and heating pads, all meant to provide pain relief before and during one’s period.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 3:04 PM on August 16, 2022


Apparently doctors are still taught that the cervix has no nerve endings

When I had a good doctor, I allowed a male medical student to observe my Pap smear procedure—I figured hey, at least this dude will learn something about bedside manner from my good doctor! I clearly remember her telling him, “Now, you will be told in medical school that this doesn’t hurt. That is not true for everyone with a cervix, so you need to be aware of that and mindful when you are doing this procedure.” I like to think he remembered that and now takes cervical pain seriously.

Thanks to my many years of reproductive woes, I have had a lot of biopsies and painful medical procedures like hysterosalpingograms (where they flush out your Fallopian tubes to see if they’re functioning properly). I was only ever offered either Tylenol or ibuprofen.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 3:09 PM on August 16, 2022 [9 favorites]


It was not like any clot I'd ever seen, not dark red but purple, more like a piece of flesh or skin, and I would pass similar pieces intermittently throughout my period-having career, always accompanied by particularly bad pain.

This sounds a lot like a decidual cast, which are supposed to be rare, but I suspect are just under recognised.
posted by Ballad of Peckham Rye at 3:13 PM on August 16, 2022 [3 favorites]


The amount of pain that people with uteruses/AFAB endocrine systems go through on the regular and just kind of go about their day with, gritted teeth and silently sweating, really can't be overstated. It's not just periods and endometriosis. It's every chronic disease. It's pregnancy. It's migraines. It's fibromyalgia. It's IBS. It's eczema. It's anxiety. "Welp, I'm stumped. Good luck with all that." is the default reaction of the medical community to almost every pain/illness issue that predominantly affect us.

My dad used to wax poetic about the worst pain he'd ever been in, which was getting his wisdom teeth out on a Friday and not having pain meds until the pharmacy opened on Monday. When I got my wisdom teeth out, I literally thought, "eh, I've had periods worse than this," and I felt like that the expectation of what I would have to put up with vs. what cis men think is unbearably painful would always be unfair and invisible.
posted by petiteviolette at 3:28 PM on August 16, 2022 [19 favorites]


My early periods were hideous abdominal cramp experiences which luckily eased up in my 20s but are still often uncomfortable. Someway into my 30s I started developing multi-day menstrual migraines that trigger muscle cramps along my right arm and leg as well as headache pain. The one upside of the migraines has been that the "standard" cramps feel so easy in comparison as I can still think and walk.in a straight line.

I have often described my period pains as being like the cramps that indicate a sudden bout of diarrhoea. Except that the sensation would last for hours at a time, every month. So there is blood _and_ actual diarrhoea and pain. Oh, and the preceeding 2 weeks of depression from PMDD? After recovering from a migraine I would really only have one week of productive life per month except until recently it was unmanaged ADHD types of productivity..

I was investigated for Endo before starting fertility treatment, no Endo, but also no success with IVF. Luckily we conceived naturally at 40 and those 9 months and post partum breastfeeding months were so easy purely because I wasn't mentally or physically impaired for 3 of ever 4 weeks.

I might be finally getting some influence over mood, migraine and cramps thanks to following the diet and supplement suggestions from Lara Briden's books but that behaviour change was mainly because i was worried about what peri-menopause will bring.
posted by pipstar at 4:02 PM on August 16, 2022 [3 favorites]


I'm on my third Mirena now.

First two were inserted without anesthesia. For the first one they gave me a pill that I was supposed to insert vaginally and leave near the cervix for a couple of hours, it was supposed to help dilate it. Well apparently it didn't dissolve enough so that didn't do anything in terms of dilation. The insertion was painful, and I remember stepping off the bus after my appointment and just dropping to a squat at the bus stop because I was cramping. This was with an OBGYN at their office, in a major Canadian city.

Second insertion was in Nairobi: no dilation pill, no pain management, also painful. I was cramping on the car ride home, but at least someone was driving me!

Third insertion was at a women's clinic, again in a major Canadian city. I thought maybe it would be a similar situation/experience. But WHOA was I surprised when the first thing they said was, "We're just gonna do some freezing on your cervix, you might feel a little pinch and some pressure." Wow, what a revelation! No pain, even though they had lots of trouble getting the cervix to open enough. They literally had to call another doctor, and it sounded like they were digging around in there, with all the tools clattering into each other. I can just imagine what that would be like with no anesthesia. I will keep going back to that clinic!

My first Mirena completely stopped my periods, to the point I threw away my menstrual cup. Second one had lots of breakthrough bleeding (apparently it was "too low" when they took it out, maybe that's why.) I remember getting really upset about getting my periods back when I did not have them for ~4 yrs prior. Not just the pain and cramping, but the skin irritation, the surprise periods when you don't have a pad or cup with you, and all the stained underwear. One night, after a long rant about how much of period-having people's time is wasted on washing their underwear, my partner (who does not have a uterus or get periods) actually said he would wash all my period panties, cos that's right, it's very unfair!

So far no periods since I got my 3rd Mirena inserted and I'm hopeful I will have 5 glorious yrs of freedom once more.
posted by tinydancer at 4:02 PM on August 16, 2022 [1 favorite]


My Mirena (my first and only as I have been on three years now) has stopped my periods completely. I am very grateful but yeah, it hurt like a motherfucker and I had mine done by a female doctor.
posted by Kitteh at 4:13 PM on August 16, 2022 [1 favorite]


Well this is nice and all but it's really only one small aspect of the tribulations of having a period. It doesn't simulate the diarrhea, the sudden flooding when you stand up, the fragmented sleep, the irritated tissues, the chronic iron deficiency anemia, the items ruined by blood staining, etc., etc.

So far I have spent 7.39 year of my life experiencing these things. That's 540 periods at 5 days each. And in today's dollars, I conservatively estimate I have spent $8100 on period supplies, not including pain relief. I don't even want to know what that would be with compound interest.
posted by HotToddy at 5:40 PM on August 16, 2022 [6 favorites]


I was lucky because I usually only had serious pain in one day out of the five. Most of that went away when I quit dairy. I'm not saying it will cure everyone (or anyone). I'm just saying, it would not hurt to try it for a month. (I don't eat meat either, but my money's on the dairy for this problem, at least for some people.)
posted by Glinn at 5:58 PM on August 16, 2022


My experience was like,

Me, age 16: I'm having horrific period cramps, I can barely stand up, I throw up a lot on two days of my period.
Doctor: Well, once you have a couple kids that should back off.

I GOT BASICALLY THIS SAME TALK FROM MULTIPLE DOCTORS OVER MULTIPLE YEARS. "Yep, your cramps are bad, have a baby, that should fix it!"

A) It did not fix it.
B) This is not appropriate advice to give a 16-year-old child.

Also special shoutout to my one theology professor in college who had a super-strict attendance policy and when I was sitting in class hunched over, pressing on my abdomen, writhing in pain, sweating bullets, and attempting not to vomit, demanded, "Ms. McGee, are you grimacing because of some particular disagreement with the lecture? Or is this distracting fidgeting your normal classroom behavior?"

I was completely out of fucks, so I snapped, "I have my period and I'm trying really hard not to vomit on my desk. If that's okay with you."

He blanched, turned red, and then didn't call on me for the rest of the semester.

(Also I will literally never fucking get over how you have a C-section and they expect you walking within 24 hours and caring for a baby basically immediately and scolded me when I wasn't doing enough baby care, whereas my husband had a vasectomy and they were like, "DO NOTHING INCLUDING CHILD CARE FOR THREE DAYS OR YOU MIGHT FEEL SOME SLIGHT PAIN." What the fuck, medical establishment? What the actual fuck???)
posted by Eyebrows McGee at 6:57 PM on August 16, 2022 [31 favorites]


What the fuck, medical establishment? What the actual fuck???

In June of 2017, Wil Wheaton wrote on his blog about how his wife turned up to an E.R. with excrutiating abdominal pain, was briefly examined and diagnosed with kidney stones, and was sent home, where she writhed in increasing pain for the next eighteen hours before he dragged her back and read the E.R. the riot act. She was re-examined more thoroughly (meaning: someone decided to actually examine her to begin with) and she was re-diagnosed with ovarian torsion, a much more serious condition requiring emergency surgery. Anne, his wife, later said that that particular pain was worse than childbirth.

I also have had ovarian torsion - and when I read how callously she'd been treated during her first visit, I wanted to rent a car, drive to California, find the Wheatons, and visit only to ask what hospital she'd been to - so that I could then drive there, find the doctor who misdiagnosed her, and PUNCH HIM IN THE DICK FOR A SOLID HOUR.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:22 PM on August 16, 2022 [15 favorites]


People on Twitter will tell you "severe period pain isn't normal, talk to your doctor" but every doctor visit has gone like this:

Doctor: Do you want to try birth control?

Me: Not really because I have a blood clotting disorder, and the one time I was on low-dose hormonal birth control I had a bad reaction to it.

Doctor: Well, I've tried nothing, and I'm all out of ideas




Me: I’m in very very bad pain, I miss work, my legs are jello, my feet are on fire, I have terrible back pain and can’t concentrate on anything

Doctor(s) AND GYNO SURGEONS: you must see a psychiatrist because you clearly aren’t coping with your mother’s recent death (from ovarian cancer)

Five years later: After 13 surgeries, including for hydronephrosis which caused the loss of my left kidney, I was certified permanently disabled by my insurance company.

Burn it all down.
posted by honey-barbara at 10:13 PM on August 16, 2022 [8 favorites]


I’ve seen these videos on TikTok, and I watch every one, and I’m always struck by how they ask people how they’d feel about going to work feeling that much pain, and how many men say they’d call out sick. I distinctly remember being at work about 5 years ago, hunched over in pain on more than the max dose of Advil, clutching a heating pack, and trying to have a conversation with my boss. He kept talking, and meanwhile, I’m not sure I could get out a full sentence, much less process what he was saying. I went home shortly after, feeling guilty for leaving before 5 even though I couldn’t concentrate on anything but the pain. And I look back on it now and I’m so angry that I felt guilty for leaving when I now have no doubt that my boss would’ve absolutely left work if he was in that much pain.
posted by loulou718 at 12:19 AM on August 17, 2022 [6 favorites]


Oh, I forgot that Anne Wheaton blogged about her ovarian torsion as well - and the comments to her post are FILLED with stories from other women who had severe pain dismissed by doctors.

And - there's a comment from an ER doctor who says he's dubious because "It is not only engraved into a gynecologist but especially into an Emergency Physician to think of torsion in female with severe lower abdominal pain.” And somewhere there's an answer from me where I say "then why the fuck did it take nine hours for doctors to diagnose ME when I had it in 1996???"
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 6:19 AM on August 17, 2022 [6 favorites]


Please also have that machine add in random bouts of diarrhea and constipation, flatulence, extreme lower back pain, general bloating, acne, painfully sore breasts and a vague sense of greasiness.

I had adenomyosis for decades and didn't know. No one tells you what is "normal" (or that 'normal' as a measurement doesn't exist) and most if not all period pain is waved away anyway. I thought everyone bled through their clothes on the regular and experienced cramps that sent waves of pain radiating down to their knees.
posted by Ink-stained wretch at 9:02 AM on August 17, 2022 [8 favorites]


Wait--it's not normal for cramps to go all the way down to your knees? This is a real question. My cramps have gotten somewhat more intense as I've gotten older, but that's always been a feature for me.
posted by epj at 9:19 AM on August 17, 2022 [4 favorites]


In all the years from age 12, when I got my first period, to now at age 69, gratefully 17 years post menopause, I have never for an instant wavered in my belief that the entire female reproductive system is absolute and total garbage. Finding a less ridiculous way to perpetuate the species is much higher on my own priority list then, say, space exploration.
posted by Kat Allison at 10:09 AM on August 17, 2022 [11 favorites]


I'm old enough to remember when period pain was generally assumed by the medical establishment to be mostly in women's heads ("rejecting our femininity", was the catchphrase). At some point when I was in high school in the 70s, a woman who had been walking around for some number of days with a broken back was asked how she managed with the pain, and when she replied that she had been in training for it her whole life due to period pain, this caused some doctors to stroke their chins and admit that maybe it was real. This memory is old and frayed around the edges, but the feeling of vindication is still crystal clear.
posted by jokeefe at 1:14 PM on August 17, 2022 [5 favorites]


Oh co-sign to all the people who mention having terrible diarrhea as part of the period parade. Like, come on uterus, don't drag the colon into this too.

Korean labor law has for decades mandated a designated sick day for menstruation, but telling your hierarchical male boss that you aren't coming in because of menstrual pain hinders actual usage.

....

I was both relieved and annoyed to discover in my 30s that the sharp pain in my abdomen is just my body ovulating and not appendicitis. At least it is fun to say.

Mittelschmerz.
posted by spamandkimchi at 1:17 PM on August 17, 2022 [4 favorites]


Perimenopause was very rough for me—I was having cycles of 21-23 days during which I bled copiously, with flooding and clots so big and painful to pass that I joked to a friend I was going to name one and start breastfeeding it.

I had a bad reaction to a Mirena IUD and had to have it taken out a week after I got it put in—-It plunged me into a profound depression. I don't remember insertion or removal hurting much; perhaps I was one of the lucky ones who got numbing injections, but I don't recall details.

After that, I was able to get an endometrial ablation, which uses radio waves to burn away the lining of your uterus. That worked great! I was still having hormonal cycles—-I was interested to discover that I still had cramps, since I'd somehow thought they were caused by the bleeding and lining shedding. So it wasn't 100% great. But it was so much better than what I'd been experiencing.

When I finally reached menopause, at about age 52 (I'm 56 now), I found that I was retroactively outraged at having to go through that for forty years. Forty years! I spend some time really angry about it.

My 15yo AFAB son has been on hormone blockers and now testosterone, and I'm so happy he doesn't have to experience periods and never will.

My partner of 29 years is a trans man who had very rough periods before his transition. One advantage of that has been that he has never doubted how shitty my periods could be.
posted by Well I never at 2:24 PM on August 17, 2022 [2 favorites]


2. Premonitions

I have those! Sometimes I’ll frown and press my abdomen and my husband will ask me if I’m having cramps. No, I say, it doesn’t hurt, it’s just that feeling you get when you know it’s going to hurt later, you know?

He does not know.
posted by bq at 7:00 PM on August 17, 2022 [8 favorites]


Minimizing period pain habituates us to minimizing our pain in and out of reproductive health contexts, and this is so fucked up and it makes me so, so, so angry.

Oh my god yes. I just straight up tell medical providers who want me to give them a number on the pain scale that years of off the charts menstrual cramps (fibroids for me, also ruptured ovarian cysts) have completely messed up my pain scale. Like, I underreport pain consistently. I dread pain and fear it—anticipation of pain causes me great anxiety—but when it actually happens to me, it’s quite frightening what I can and have put up with.

And yeah, as everyone said, the cramps are only one part of it. The diarrhea! The uncontrollable gushing blood! After one reproductive surgery the recovery nurse told me if I had excessive bleeding I needed to come back to the hospital. I was like, you are literally going to have to tell me what you mean by excessive bleeding because I have no frame of reference for that anymore. She said, if you soak a pad in an hour. I was like, well then I have had excessive bleeding for most of my life and sure as shit no one was telling me to go to the ER for it. And that was before perimenopause, dear god I put in a tampon a few months ago and literally had to change it 10 minutes later. It just generally looks like a massacre in my bathroom for days at a time when I’ve got my period.

I should confess, I’ve watched these videos multiple times and derived a great deal of satisfaction from watching them. Not satisfaction from watching people be in pain, but I guess satisfaction from seeing cis men who had no idea what it was like suddenly understand, OH SHIT this really is awful in a way I can barely comprehend.
posted by hurdy gurdy girl at 12:46 AM on August 18, 2022 [5 favorites]


The amount of pain that people with uteruses/AFAB endocrine systems go through on the regular and just kind of go about their day with, gritted teeth and silently sweating, really can't be overstated. It's not just periods and endometriosis.
I'm reading a book on menopause. In the chapter about related heart disease, the author says one of the reasons heart attacks are under-diagnosed in women is because they're less painful than what many women experience with period pain. I've had relatively average period pain (days off work, but no fainting or hospital visits) but that made me look up all the other symptoms of heart attacks in women.
posted by harriet vane at 1:16 AM on August 18, 2022 [5 favorites]


I started my periods aged 9 - yes NINE! - and had a hysterectomy at 42 because I just couldn't live with it any more. Decades of pain, no discernible 'normal' cycle, flooding, clots... I went on the Pill at 16, which made the flow lighter but didn't do anything for the pain. I had to stop taking it in my mid-20s due to breast lumps. After that, IUDs inserted and removed with no pain relief or local anaesthesia (once fainting in the street afterwards from the pain), and 'advice' from doctors and family planning clinics that it would all get better if only I had a baby. The pain from my thighs to my navel, coming in waves, was almost a constant in my life.

The decision to put an end to it with a hysterectomy was a simple one really and was triggered by two events: I was scuba diving at a special deep dive pool and, although my last period had ended a week earlier, I had a 'flood' that came through my wetsuit. It looked like a fucking shark attack and they had to close the pool. I never went back to that dive club.

The second event was when I was on my way to work on the DLR, I stood up at my station and flooded everywhere. I sat down immediately. The train terminated at the next station and the guard - a woman, thank god - said I needed to get off. I showed her the blood-soaked seat (we have - stupidly - fabric seats on public transport in the UK) and she almost fainted. She thought I was having a miscarriage, but I said no, I'm really sorry, I didn't know this was going to happen, and burst into tears. She was so kind after that. She said they'd need to take the train out of service and back to the depot at Poplar, I should stay on the train until then, and she'd take me into the staff area so I could get cleaned up as best I could. Luckily it'd been raining that day so I was wearing a rubberised raincoat and so it didn't go through the lining, otherwise I don't know what I'd have done. I had to go home, call in when I got there and ask if I could work from home that day. Male bosses just didn't understand and sometimes the women in the office were unsympathetic if they didn't experience similar problems.

Luckily I have good private health insurance, through work so was referred to an ob/gyn who was happy I was making an informed choice, we discussed alternatives such as laser ablation, but he agreed with me that removing the offending organ was the best plan. I never would have qualified for the surgery at my age under the NHS and would still be suffering now, 20 years on without BUPA.

Recovery from the hysterectomy surgery was a piece of cake compared with going through a heavy period. I had a sub-total hysterectomy, leaving ovaries and cervix and just removing the uterus. It wasn't until about a year after my surgery that I realised one day how well I felt, and that I'd felt great for a while. I'd become so used to living with constant pain, fatigue, bleeding, etc. that it had become the norm.
posted by essexjan at 3:17 AM on August 18, 2022 [9 favorites]


Wait--it's not normal for cramps to go all the way down to your knees?

Anecdote of one: doesn't happen to me. My cramps are isolated to my abdominal area and lower back. They're hellacious but confined, at least.
posted by cooker girl at 8:46 AM on August 18, 2022 [1 favorite]


spamandkimchi I wound up in the ER in my early 20s, terrible abdo pain. they were going to do exploratory surgery (!!) they thought it was an ectopic pregnancy (!!!!) but thankfully the bloodwork came back: middelschmerz. seriously??? painful ovulation. who even knew that was a thing?
posted by supermedusa at 9:27 AM on August 18, 2022 [1 favorite]


metafilter: a vague sense of greasiness

up for grabs bandname/username/descriptor of emotional state!


also, can I just say? I am a uterus having person wrapping up 40 years of menstruating and a lot of these stories are horrifying me!! like, I had no idea how bad it could get. so much sympathy to you all. if I had known at 20 the vile, dire state of women's health care I would have considered a career in medicine.
posted by supermedusa at 9:36 AM on August 18, 2022 [2 favorites]


The pill (at 15) helped, Depo was better but annoying (regular visits for jabbing) and then I learned about implants. 3 years at a time of pain free, period free bliss in exchange for a plastic matchstick in your upper arm. (Wound no worse than a blood draw - in and out of the doc's office in 20 mins).

My current one (my fourth) expires right around now and I am pondering what to do - I *think* I'm through menopause now, but. If I'm not....
posted by Ilira at 11:29 AM on August 18, 2022 [1 favorite]


Wait--it's not normal for cramps to go all the way down to your knees?
Dina Asher-Smith reveals period caused calf cramps after racing into 200m final [Guardian / Archive]
posted by ellieBOA at 2:50 AM on August 19, 2022 [1 favorite]


I also get pain/soreness down to my knees during my period, though my cramps aren't too bad, especially not now that I go the route of taking prophylactic naproxen. Apparently this helps inhibit the prostoglandins that cause cramping. If I take a couple Aleve in the evening the day or two before my period is scheduled to start, I'm spared the worst of the pain and just get the usual tenderness/soreness all along my pelvic area, lower back, and thighs, sometimes down to the knees. I'm regular enough that I can do this without accidentally taking Aleve for like five days straight, and it's a godsend. Keeps the pain of cramps down to "premonition" levels throughout.

I'm still mad about mittelschmerz though, especially that no one goddamn told me about it until I took a class on female sexuality in my senior year of college. I went to the doctor for the pain when I was a teenager! They did ultrasounds! And at no point did anyone suggest that it could be ovulation pain, or even ask me about my cycle. Infuriating, especially because my mittelschmerz are actually sometimes more painful than my period cramps. Like, one time I was in my boss's office, standing there talking about work, when the mittelschmerz hit and I had to actually bend over double and very nearly just squatted down and curled up right there. My boss was like "wtf, are you okay, do you want to go home." (I did not go home early, it was almost the end of the day anyway.)
posted by yasaman at 11:15 AM on August 19, 2022 [4 favorites]


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