Your tax dollars at “work”
June 6, 2024 12:08 PM Subscribe
Popsci: (on the Tesla Cybertruck upgrades for police cruisers) "With the all-wheel drive Cybertruck’s current $79,990 price, it stands to reason the combined taxpayer cost for a vehicle and new UP.FIT features could easily top $90,000. While UP.FIT’s website doesn’t offer any price ranges, Unplugged Performance lists similar products on its online store. A 50-inch, 48V double row LED light bar for the Cybertruck, for example, costs $1,293.75, while a front bull bar retails for $1,995. UP.FIT details at least 25 upgrades in its standard “Patrol Cybertruck” tier as well as multiple recommended and optional additions. For comparison, a brand-new 2024 Ford Explorer 4WD Police Interceptor costs roughly $47,000." (Police Cruiser Manual Override Exit Tool: $6.29)
Police departments switching to EVs seems like it would be a good thing.
posted by kickingtheground at 12:16 PM on June 6
posted by kickingtheground at 12:16 PM on June 6
Police departments switching to EVs seems like it would be a good thing.
Yes, but police departments switching to a vehicle that is designed to maim people (there was the Cybertruck that sent its owner to the ER before he got to drive it, for example) seems like a bad thing. Not to mention that what is attracting cops isn't that it's electric, but that it's designed to be aggressive and intimidating.
posted by NoxAeternum at 12:23 PM on June 6 [15 favorites]
Yes, but police departments switching to a vehicle that is designed to maim people (there was the Cybertruck that sent its owner to the ER before he got to drive it, for example) seems like a bad thing. Not to mention that what is attracting cops isn't that it's electric, but that it's designed to be aggressive and intimidating.
posted by NoxAeternum at 12:23 PM on June 6 [15 favorites]
Agreed that switching to EVs in general seems like a good idea, and since they're cops, it stands to reason that they would opt for the most overpriced least functional EV made by the billionaire racist troll as opposed to anything practical or reasonable.
The Cybertruck is ridiculously fragile and underperformant while radiating a intimidating aura of toxic masculinity, which makes it a natural choice for American policing.
posted by Two unicycles and some duct tape at 12:25 PM on June 6 [49 favorites]
The Cybertruck is ridiculously fragile and underperformant while radiating a intimidating aura of toxic masculinity, which makes it a natural choice for American policing.
posted by Two unicycles and some duct tape at 12:25 PM on June 6 [49 favorites]
I will admit that a Cybertruck owner finding out that Ford isn't just a truck brand the hard way is entertaining.
posted by NoxAeternum at 12:25 PM on June 6 [5 favorites]
posted by NoxAeternum at 12:25 PM on June 6 [5 favorites]
Hey, if it exclusively maims cops and tech/finance bros, I might change my opinion on it.
posted by Glegrinof the Pig-Man at 12:25 PM on June 6 [11 favorites]
posted by Glegrinof the Pig-Man at 12:25 PM on June 6 [11 favorites]
Police departments are already heavily invested in the Ford Explorer Interceptor version; the Explorer has a plug-in hybrid option, and going electric on a tried-and-true platform seems like it'd reduce training on proper usage, updates and upgrades would likely be very much the same, etc.
Plus, like, there's no exterior handle to just open the cybertruck, which I would think is a safety thing, just being able to access the interior. One of the reasons they like the Explorer is due to the huge amount of interior space, which it doesn't look like a cybertruck has much of.
It looks more like a publicity stunt, or a way to blow a lot of public funds, and not due to any advantage they couldn't get cheaper.
posted by AzraelBrown at 12:27 PM on June 6 [7 favorites]
Plus, like, there's no exterior handle to just open the cybertruck, which I would think is a safety thing, just being able to access the interior. One of the reasons they like the Explorer is due to the huge amount of interior space, which it doesn't look like a cybertruck has much of.
It looks more like a publicity stunt, or a way to blow a lot of public funds, and not due to any advantage they couldn't get cheaper.
posted by AzraelBrown at 12:27 PM on June 6 [7 favorites]
The Cybertruck probably looks like the "Turbo Car" the crew on Robocop laughed off the set and right out of the movie, so it makes sense that actual cops think it looks cool.
posted by The Card Cheat at 12:27 PM on June 6 [1 favorite]
posted by The Card Cheat at 12:27 PM on June 6 [1 favorite]
On one hand, this is exuberant. On the other hand, they are uniformly lemons that make it about five miles off the dealer lot before failing catastrophically. Car washes literally void the warranty, no joke. So this may have the effect of keeping cops off the street where they can't hurt people, if not blowing out budgets and reducing new hires. It could be win-win.
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 12:42 PM on June 6 [4 favorites]
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 12:42 PM on June 6 [4 favorites]
The “good” thing about the Cybertruck is that it telegraphs to the world the owner’s gullibility and inability to do the tiniest bit of research before purchasing a car.
Having seen Cybertruckses in the wild, that is suburban Austin, Texas - not off-road god help us, they aren’t actually designed for that I don’t think, they’re the most fantastic, infantile, dumb inelegant things. Each one is a big neon sign declaring: “My owner _sigh_ is a putz.” If they weren’t such a menace I’d say I love them. A design as shitty as the DeLorean or the Gremlin…
As a cop car, they’ll be a riot of stupid - Hertz just dumped their whole Tesla fleet for a reason: too expensive to repair to easy to catastrophically break.
Everything about this story is pure joy.
posted by From Bklyn at 12:42 PM on June 6 [8 favorites]
Having seen Cybertruckses in the wild, that is suburban Austin, Texas - not off-road god help us, they aren’t actually designed for that I don’t think, they’re the most fantastic, infantile, dumb inelegant things. Each one is a big neon sign declaring: “My owner _sigh_ is a putz.” If they weren’t such a menace I’d say I love them. A design as shitty as the DeLorean or the Gremlin…
As a cop car, they’ll be a riot of stupid - Hertz just dumped their whole Tesla fleet for a reason: too expensive to repair to easy to catastrophically break.
Everything about this story is pure joy.
posted by From Bklyn at 12:42 PM on June 6 [8 favorites]
I really hate that this is how we are directing our limited resources in a crumbling world, towards tools to make it dangerous to fight for something better.
posted by an octopus IRL at 12:46 PM on June 6 [7 favorites]
posted by an octopus IRL at 12:46 PM on June 6 [7 favorites]
Bladerunners? They're actually calling them fucking Bladerunners?
posted by RonButNotStupid at 12:46 PM on June 6 [4 favorites]
posted by RonButNotStupid at 12:46 PM on June 6 [4 favorites]
Note to Kingston Police: If you do this with my taxpayer dollars, you will regret it
posted by Kitteh at 12:51 PM on June 6 [1 favorite]
posted by Kitteh at 12:51 PM on June 6 [1 favorite]
I predict these will become the standard vehicle for D.A.R.E. officers everywhere.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 12:54 PM on June 6 [3 favorites]
posted by RonButNotStupid at 12:54 PM on June 6 [3 favorites]
[slapping hood] you can hide from so many school shooters in this thing
posted by gottabefunky at 1:05 PM on June 6 [19 favorites]
posted by gottabefunky at 1:05 PM on June 6 [19 favorites]
Finally, a cop car that burns itself.
posted by The Manwich Horror at 1:06 PM on June 6 [20 favorites]
posted by The Manwich Horror at 1:06 PM on June 6 [20 favorites]
Car washes literally void the warranty, no joke.
So instead of throwing a molotov cocktail at the military police cybertruck during a riot, you just need to ... tip a bucket of cold water over it? Or, if you want a police-free street, just open a fire hydrant or two?
posted by Wordshore at 1:26 PM on June 6 [6 favorites]
So instead of throwing a molotov cocktail at the military police cybertruck during a riot, you just need to ... tip a bucket of cold water over it? Or, if you want a police-free street, just open a fire hydrant or two?
posted by Wordshore at 1:26 PM on June 6 [6 favorites]
(there was the Cybertruck that sent its owner to the ER before he got to drive it, for example)
Excited for California's new Natural Selection method of police reform, though it's a little more extreme than we were hoping for.
posted by Slackermagee at 1:29 PM on June 6 [1 favorite]
Excited for California's new Natural Selection method of police reform, though it's a little more extreme than we were hoping for.
posted by Slackermagee at 1:29 PM on June 6 [1 favorite]
Seems like you could just throw some mud on the windshield to cripple it.
posted by JoeZydeco at 1:30 PM on June 6
posted by JoeZydeco at 1:30 PM on June 6
Car washes literally void the warranty, no joke.
My understanding is not that car washes void the warranty, but if you don't put it in Car Wash Mode before going through the wash, the warranty doesn't cover any damages the car wash may cause. Which, I guess, if the wash destroys the computer system that runs the whole shebang, I imagine then yeah, you're fucked. Regardless, having to use a "car wash mode" on your car is just so, so dumb. I also note that owners are advised not to wash their Cybertruck in direct sunlight. No word yet on what happens if you feed them after midnight.
posted by Saxon Kane at 1:35 PM on June 6 [9 favorites]
My understanding is not that car washes void the warranty, but if you don't put it in Car Wash Mode before going through the wash, the warranty doesn't cover any damages the car wash may cause. Which, I guess, if the wash destroys the computer system that runs the whole shebang, I imagine then yeah, you're fucked. Regardless, having to use a "car wash mode" on your car is just so, so dumb. I also note that owners are advised not to wash their Cybertruck in direct sunlight. No word yet on what happens if you feed them after midnight.
posted by Saxon Kane at 1:35 PM on June 6 [9 favorites]
All Cybertrucks Are Broken?
posted by box at 1:56 PM on June 6 [8 favorites]
posted by box at 1:56 PM on June 6 [8 favorites]
The Cybertruck is ridiculously fragile and underperformant while radiating a intimidating aura of toxic masculinity
And looks like a Aztek fucked a DeLorean.
Cybertruck 2020 in Back to the Future
posted by kirkaracha at 2:19 PM on June 6 [3 favorites]
And looks like a Aztek fucked a DeLorean.
Cybertruck 2020 in Back to the Future
posted by kirkaracha at 2:19 PM on June 6 [3 favorites]
I thought "car wash mode" was making sure the windows are closed
posted by gottabefunky at 2:24 PM on June 6
posted by gottabefunky at 2:24 PM on June 6
Many cars have had trouble in car washes with those "touchless" sensors that let you open a door or rear gate without using your hands. Example.
posted by JoeZydeco at 2:31 PM on June 6 [3 favorites]
posted by JoeZydeco at 2:31 PM on June 6 [3 favorites]
And we have Tesla's board chair continue to demonstrate why the judge ruled they weren't independent with a fact free assertion that not voting for Elon's payday would cost Tesla money. The argument that he would sue the company is especially rankling given that an actual independent board would be looking to sue him after he diverted Tesla AI chip shipments to xAI (no matter what your thought on AI is, that's a blatant breach of fiduciary duty.)
posted by NoxAeternum at 2:51 PM on June 6 [5 favorites]
posted by NoxAeternum at 2:51 PM on June 6 [5 favorites]
I also note that owners are advised not to wash their Cybertruck in direct sunlight
Cybertrucks are stupid and bad and Musk is a dingus but owners of all motor vehicles are advised not to wash their cars in direct sunlight.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 3:07 PM on June 6 [1 favorite]
Cybertrucks are stupid and bad and Musk is a dingus but owners of all motor vehicles are advised not to wash their cars in direct sunlight.
posted by GCU Sweet and Full of Grace at 3:07 PM on June 6 [1 favorite]
I think cops are already way over the line with their current equipment and are arguably an army that we shouldn’t be deploying against US citizens. A sort of wanna be Batmobile just attracts the wrong type of people. I want my cops in a Volvo 240. I don’t think they should be doing high speed chases at all, even if some guy is getting away with a bag of money. Maybe a special armed unit with Challengers or CyberDonks or whatever.
I have cops in my extended family and friend groups , and they are good people. We are just asking them to do the completely wrong things most of the time.
Like seriously, I want them in non-menacing cars that say “public safety”.
posted by caviar2d2 at 3:11 PM on June 6 [7 favorites]
I have cops in my extended family and friend groups , and they are good people. We are just asking them to do the completely wrong things most of the time.
Like seriously, I want them in non-menacing cars that say “public safety”.
posted by caviar2d2 at 3:11 PM on June 6 [7 favorites]
I understand police departments grabbing one of the Army's MRAP's, they were free and all they cost were paint jobs and radios. And the bonus with them is most are in storage because of maintenance costs are insane.
But a Cybertruck? The idea is to intimidate the population, not paralyze them with laughter.
posted by Marky at 3:13 PM on June 6
But a Cybertruck? The idea is to intimidate the population, not paralyze them with laughter.
posted by Marky at 3:13 PM on June 6
Are we criticising this for the cost or for other reasons?
If it's cost, then the purchase cost is misleading. What matters is the total cost of ownership - capital cost of purchase, running costs per hour, maintenance, depreciation, insurance, etc... If these are vehicles being driven a good distance every day then the savings from not buying petrol can outweigh the higher purchase price, making electric vehicles cheaper to own and use.
If it's other reasons, then which reasons? Coz we could start with "wtf US Police Departments, why are you buying CyberTrucks?" but a more important criticism should be "wtf US Police Departments, maybe stop shooting people?"
posted by happyinmotion at 3:41 PM on June 6 [1 favorite]
If it's cost, then the purchase cost is misleading. What matters is the total cost of ownership - capital cost of purchase, running costs per hour, maintenance, depreciation, insurance, etc... If these are vehicles being driven a good distance every day then the savings from not buying petrol can outweigh the higher purchase price, making electric vehicles cheaper to own and use.
If it's other reasons, then which reasons? Coz we could start with "wtf US Police Departments, why are you buying CyberTrucks?" but a more important criticism should be "wtf US Police Departments, maybe stop shooting people?"
posted by happyinmotion at 3:41 PM on June 6 [1 favorite]
But the point is that there are other EVs that are a) cheaper, b) more capable, and c) less harmful than the Incel Camino. Cops are interested in the WankerTanker not because of TCO, but because it looks like something a dystopian government would be using in a SyFy Original Movie.
posted by NoxAeternum at 4:01 PM on June 6 [14 favorites]
posted by NoxAeternum at 4:01 PM on June 6 [14 favorites]
So instead of throwing a molotov cocktail at the military police cybertruck during a riot, you just need to ... tip a bucket of cold water over it? Or, if you want a police-free street, just open a fire hydrant or two?
Remember that when someone destroys a police vehicle, they buy two more on our dime. However it's sometimes worth it for the propaganda photo of a burning cop car. Spilling water doesn't have the same effect.
posted by tofu_crouton at 4:02 PM on June 6
Remember that when someone destroys a police vehicle, they buy two more on our dime. However it's sometimes worth it for the propaganda photo of a burning cop car. Spilling water doesn't have the same effect.
posted by tofu_crouton at 4:02 PM on June 6
I think it's worth it every time. Those budgets are going up no matter what. The cash is already stolen. Why let them keep it?
posted by jy4m at 4:19 PM on June 6 [3 favorites]
posted by jy4m at 4:19 PM on June 6 [3 favorites]
The cops have so much damn money that why not just piss away more on these douche-mobiles? Obviously the answer is the all municipal budgets should just be exclusively for cops. Let those useless fuckers in the library, parks, works and fire departments raise their own goddamn money, do a go fund me or something.
There's comment somewhere under a photo of Atlanta's water piping disaster that says something like "Atlanta, just drink cops". The future is turning out so grand....
posted by WatTylerJr at 4:33 PM on June 6 [7 favorites]
There's comment somewhere under a photo of Atlanta's water piping disaster that says something like "Atlanta, just drink cops". The future is turning out so grand....
posted by WatTylerJr at 4:33 PM on June 6 [7 favorites]
If these are vehicles being driven a good distance every day then the savings from not buying petrol can outweigh the higher purchase price, making electric vehicles cheaper to own and use.
Your larger point is valid but this particular electric vehicle suffers from a variety of reliability and safety issues. Some insurance companies are refusing to insure or even reinsure after claims have been made. It is surprising that it isn't a larger story in the news, given the set of problems Tesla is facing at the moment.
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 7:44 PM on June 6 [3 favorites]
Your larger point is valid but this particular electric vehicle suffers from a variety of reliability and safety issues. Some insurance companies are refusing to insure or even reinsure after claims have been made. It is surprising that it isn't a larger story in the news, given the set of problems Tesla is facing at the moment.
posted by They sucked his brains out! at 7:44 PM on June 6 [3 favorites]
It is surprising that it isn't a larger story in the news, given the set of problems Tesla is facing at the moment.
Given that Tesla's "Technoking" has been accused in engaging in insider trading netting him $3B in profit and diverted Tesla resources to his private holdings all in the runup to the vote in literally a week to give him $55B in Tesla stock, the continued failure of Tesla engineering pales in comparison.
posted by NoxAeternum at 8:25 PM on June 6 [3 favorites]
Given that Tesla's "Technoking" has been accused in engaging in insider trading netting him $3B in profit and diverted Tesla resources to his private holdings all in the runup to the vote in literally a week to give him $55B in Tesla stock, the continued failure of Tesla engineering pales in comparison.
posted by NoxAeternum at 8:25 PM on June 6 [3 favorites]
If it's cost, then the purchase cost is misleading. What matters is the total cost of ownership - capital cost of purchase, running costs per hour, maintenance, depreciation, insurance, etc... If these are vehicles being driven a good distance every day then the savings from not buying petrol can outweigh the higher purchase price, making electric vehicles cheaper to own and use.
The F150 Lightning is significantly less than the cybertruck. Heck, from what I can tell, even the Rivian R1T is selling for less. The Tesla joke-mobile is the least practical, most expensive vehicle in its class.
posted by Dysk at 9:48 PM on June 6 [3 favorites]
The F150 Lightning is significantly less than the cybertruck. Heck, from what I can tell, even the Rivian R1T is selling for less. The Tesla joke-mobile is the least practical, most expensive vehicle in its class.
posted by Dysk at 9:48 PM on June 6 [3 favorites]
I know why this is getting press, but basically every EV in history has shown up at the major police departments as a test mule. It's really no big deal, and the fact that this post exists shows that it is definitely a marketing expense well spent by both the departments and the manufactures.
I have, with my own eyes, see the following cars on the street in either LAPD, LASD, or OCSD livery:
1st Gen RAV4 EV
Geo Prizm or Toyota Corolla, not sure how it was badged
2nd Gen RAV4 EV
Smart Car EV
BMW Mini EV
Tesla Model S
Tesla Model Y
Cars I haven't seen with my actual eyes, but I seen pictures of:
eGolf
Tesla Model X
XC40, but not sure if it was a hybrid or EV
And, if we want to go into ICE vehicles...well, I don't have time even to list the ridiculous ones. You think the LAPD wouldn't be caught dead driving a ~2006 Volvo V50 wagon? No, you are wrong, they had at least two for a brief point almost 20 years ago.
posted by Back At It Again At Krispy Kreme at 9:10 AM on June 7
I have, with my own eyes, see the following cars on the street in either LAPD, LASD, or OCSD livery:
1st Gen RAV4 EV
Geo Prizm or Toyota Corolla, not sure how it was badged
2nd Gen RAV4 EV
Smart Car EV
BMW Mini EV
Tesla Model S
Tesla Model Y
Cars I haven't seen with my actual eyes, but I seen pictures of:
eGolf
Tesla Model X
XC40, but not sure if it was a hybrid or EV
And, if we want to go into ICE vehicles...well, I don't have time even to list the ridiculous ones. You think the LAPD wouldn't be caught dead driving a ~2006 Volvo V50 wagon? No, you are wrong, they had at least two for a brief point almost 20 years ago.
posted by Back At It Again At Krispy Kreme at 9:10 AM on June 7
Cop: (slams own dick in a Cybertruck door)
Weird Internet Nerds: "Masterful gambit sir!"
posted by Glegrinof the Pig-Man at 9:18 AM on June 7 [4 favorites]
Weird Internet Nerds: "Masterful gambit sir!"
posted by Glegrinof the Pig-Man at 9:18 AM on June 7 [4 favorites]
It should be them slamming their dick in a Cybertruck frunk, Glegrinof.
And if you want to see how fucked the upcoming vote is, this is a good overview. Short version - no matter how the vote goes, the short-term product of Tesla will be legal billable hours.
posted by NoxAeternum at 10:50 AM on June 7
And if you want to see how fucked the upcoming vote is, this is a good overview. Short version - no matter how the vote goes, the short-term product of Tesla will be legal billable hours.
posted by NoxAeternum at 10:50 AM on June 7
Also, it turns out that the "EV sales slump" is in actuality primarily a Tesla sales slump (with a little VW mixed in.) Which just adds to the upcoming drama on Thursday.
posted by NoxAeternum at 12:40 PM on June 7 [2 favorites]
posted by NoxAeternum at 12:40 PM on June 7 [2 favorites]
What the fucking fuck. I cannot think of a single advantage the Tesla Cybertruck has over any other EV patrol cruiser. How any agency would choose this monstrosity is baffling.
posted by Orthodox Humanoid at 1:20 PM on June 7
posted by Orthodox Humanoid at 1:20 PM on June 7
The backlog of unsold Teslas is now visible from space.
posted by NoxAeternum at 8:37 AM on June 8 [1 favorite]
posted by NoxAeternum at 8:37 AM on June 8 [1 favorite]
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posted by chavenet at 12:12 PM on June 6 [22 favorites]