In this economy?

June 28, 2024 8:22 PM

Waterfront real estate for $450,000. 4 bedroom, 1 bath. 360 degree ocean views. 2.5 miles off shore at the mouth of the Potomac River.

Smith Point Lighthouse isn’t for the faint of heart (or stomach). Getting there, about three miles from shore, requires a journey by boat that can take up to an hour on a choppy day. The entrance consists of two corroded ladders wobbling with every gust of wind. A railing with missing rungs hovers above the tempestuous waters below. More photos here.

Previously & Previously

posted by Toddles (24 comments total)

4 BR, 1BA? How is that going to work as a vacation spot? But, it would be pretty cool to own it/use it as a vacation spot. Wonder if the surrounding waters would destroy a dock? Brobably could be a sweet VRBO deal. Boat trip included, blah, blah, blah, $cashmoney...

Cool that they aren't all destroyed and decrepit.
posted by Windopaene at 9:06 PM on June 28

I wonder if you can get Door Dash service?
posted by Joey Michaels at 9:24 PM on June 28 [1 favorite]

I'd buy it just to test Amazon Prime
posted by milnak at 9:27 PM on June 28 [11 favorites]

Dibs.
posted by Capt. Renault at 9:28 PM on June 28

It'd be easy to run as a VRBO. Just a little light housekeeping...
posted by The otter lady at 9:55 PM on June 28 [42 favorites]

Dungeon! 1000 years dungeon for the otter lady! groan groan groan.
posted by Wretch729 at 10:14 PM on June 28 [2 favorites]

So, speaking as someone who owns a house with a spring water system (i.e., collect water flowing down hillside into tank, filter, UV sterilize)...um...what's the water supply? I see one weirdly-angled photo that shows a showerhead, so there must be water. And apparently the electricity is from a generator? Must be fun hauling gas up that rusty ladder. But all that ignores the most important question: is there a real inside toilet or am I am understanding correctly that that's a shit-over-the-edge outhouse?
posted by The Tensor at 12:02 AM on June 29 [2 favorites]

If you want a property with water on all sides, there's one up for sale here in Worcester right now. £300,000, which works out to around $380,000.

However, be aware that there are reasons - well, one big and recurring reason - why e.g. the kitchen stuff is on legs or stilts, and power sockets in the ground floor rooms are halfway up the walls...
posted by Wordshore at 1:00 AM on June 29 [6 favorites]

Inside US territorial limits? Forget it.
posted by BWA at 5:08 AM on June 29

The last link mentions a Lex San toilet system a few times. Unfortunately that doesn't seem to be its proper name, and searches for that term return a Reddit thread about this property. It seems to be some sort of electrolysis toilet and waste processing unit. They also mention a 550gal water tank in the basement.

Seems this place is obscenely expensive to live in, even if you only pay for food, water, and fuel.
posted by SaltySalticid at 5:24 AM on June 29 [1 favorite]

...lights...
posted by HearHere at 5:26 AM on June 29

Here’s the zillow listing with a bit more concrete info on the rehab.
posted by advil at 5:46 AM on June 29 [1 favorite]

That will be underwater in no time!
posted by tiny frying pan at 6:01 AM on June 29

LARPing tower defense game when the sea monsters rise?
posted by kokaku at 7:22 AM on June 29

I mean, there's technically more than 1 bathroom.
posted by emelenjr at 7:41 AM on June 29

sure but within a couple weeks you'll end up drunkenly fighting over whether or not you really have what it takes to be a wickie in a conflict that erupts into time dilation and mermaid sex and ruminations on the nature of masculinity
posted by Aya Hirano on the Astral Plane at 7:50 AM on June 29 [5 favorites]

What the original article doesn't mention is that most lighthouses come with a deed restriction requiring them to be managed consistent with the National Park Service's guidelines for historic preservation. That means no replacing the rotted wood windows with vinyl, or replacing the cast-iron railings with something cheaper to maintain. It can cost a lot more to do that kind of work.

I think lighthouses are charming and interesting, and I never want to own one: they are far far too much work to maintain.
posted by suelac at 8:05 AM on June 29 [1 favorite]

Here’s the zillow listing with a bit more concrete info on the rehab.
posted by advil at 5:46 AM on June 29

hahahaha price cut 368k
posted by bluesky43 at 8:22 AM on June 29

This is a 120+ year old Single Point Mooring (SPM) with a lighthouse on top. Maintenance of an SPM can be done in two ways, either you hire a hoisting vessel and lift the SPM into the air so it can be worked on in situ, or you detach the mooring, tow it into a port, perform all the maintenance, then tow it back to the location and have it re-attached again (which involves a diving team).

Which is to say, this structure comes with a ton of maintenance, insurance and decommissioning liabilities. If it was destroyed in a storm or a fire how much would a recovery and rebuild cost? That's what your insurance will be based on.
posted by Lanark at 8:23 AM on June 29

This is a 120+ year old Single Point Mooring (SPM) with a lighthouse on top. Maintenance of an SPM can be done in two ways, either you hire a hoisting vessel and lift the SPM into the air so it can be worked on in situ, or you detach the mooring, tow it into a port, perform all the maintenance, then tow it back to the location and have it re-attached again (which involves a diving team).

Are you sure? It wasn’t talked about that way in the articles, and after some googling I found this page which has detailed construction info:

The cast-iron cylinder, 30 feet in diameter, 44 feet, 9 inches high, is attached to a 32-foot square wooden caisson sunk 12 feet into the bottom. The plates forming the cylinder are 6 feet, 3 inches tall, and bolted together into seven horizontal bands or courses with the flanges of the plates turned inward to give the exterior a uniform smooth surface. The upper or top band flares outward like a trumpet providing support and additional deck space for the lower gallery deck. The cylinder is filled with concrete except where the cellar is formed. There are four porthole-type openings in the upper plate tier to provide light into the cellar area. The cylinder is painted a dark red/brown

(I doubt that this makes maintenance easier though…)
posted by advil at 9:17 AM on June 29

'Single Point Mooring' is a pretty generic term, they come in all sizes and it's anyone's guess how often this will need maintenance work done.

The Smith Point Lighthouse lies in about 20 feet of water That may complicate things as it limits the size of vessels that can be used.
posted by Lanark at 10:16 AM on June 29

We stayed in a lighthouse last week. This one on shore in Galloway, Scotland and, like many here, built by the Stevenson family. Something I noticed were a few leaflets and photos from other lighthouses around the world- so o like to think there are people who make a habit of staying in the places.
posted by rongorongo at 10:55 AM on June 29 [1 favorite]

What the original article doesn't mention is that most lighthouses come with a deed restriction requiring them to be managed consistent with the National Park Service's guidelines for historic preservation. That means no replacing the rotted wood windows with vinyl, or replacing the cast-iron railings with something cheaper to maintain. It can cost a lot more to do that kind of work.

And thank goodness for that. Vinyl windows are terrible for the environment and they don't last very long, especially in those conditions. Good wood windows, especially historic ones, are designed to be maintained and individual elements can be repaired or replaced if they get damaged or warped. With a vinyl window, you have to junk the whole thing. I've seen plenty of replacement windows of varying quality installed in lighthouses and Coast Guard Stations and they never wear as well as the original wood windows.

Similarly, cast iron is not hard to maintain and is going to stand up in that environment much longer than anything cheaper. I know a local lighthouse group that maintains an offshore light in a relatively protected spot on Lake St. Clair. They put up a "cheaper, easier to maintain" fence. Every year, they have to go out and reset or replace the numerous sections that came down over the winter. And we don't get hurricanes.
posted by Preserver at 12:11 PM on June 29 [1 favorite]

Interesting as it is, this place is a shithole and that ladder business is for the birds. The price is WAY out of line! I'd much rather the Worcs place above.
posted by rhizome at 2:18 PM on June 29