Bare chested men are ugly! Rolling Stone told me so!

July 21, 2024 9:30 AM

50 worst album covers of all time, per Rolling Stone.
posted by a non mouse, a cow herd (58 comments total)

Many solid picks here, but I have to disagree about Slippery When Wet, Tubthumping (it's funny!), Ride a Rock Horse (it's Daltrey!) and especially, especially Revolver—that's just being wilfully contrary.

Even Hard Promises is fine by me, despite Petty not liking it; what was mundane forty-plus years ago is now a slice of everyday life from, well, forty-plus years ago, and interesting in the same way as old photos of everyday life so often are. Especially photos that happen to have Tom Petty in them.
posted by rory at 9:49 AM on July 21, 2024 [11 favorites]

Thankfully not a list picking on artists lacking resources. All of these are well deserved (and no major nits to pick!). Well done!
posted by mazola at 9:50 AM on July 21, 2024 [2 favorites]

Yeah, I’m not sure why “hairy man-chest” is terrible when it was the style at the time. As for the rest, a lot of them boil down to “cheap aesthetics,” rather than reaching for the truly worst.
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:50 AM on July 21, 2024 [5 favorites]

I want to know why that Daltrey centaur cover isn’t on a “Greatest Album Art of All Time” list. His politics are bad, but who am I to look down on his centaur dreams?
posted by GenjiandProust at 9:55 AM on July 21, 2024 [7 favorites]

The Cucumber Castle cover always makes me giggle to the degree that I find it endearing.

Honestly, it surprises me how few mid-to-late nineties techno, alt rock, pop punk, and ska revival (actually just most of the mid-late 90s in cover art was just a shitshow) there are on this list because Jesus Holy Christ, there were so many terrible ones. I started worked in a record store in the early 2000s and I spent years scarred by have to look at all of them when I stocked the decade before.

A lot of my favorite records have really regrettable cover art. Also, I need to know why musicians had such a strong affinity for punishing me with neon green (especially when paired with purple and bright orange) and I say this as someone whose favorite color is green.
posted by thivaia at 10:01 AM on July 21, 2024 [3 favorites]

Yes, it's true, these are all terrible. And I must confess I actually bought that Yes album. Surprised this Fleetwood Mac wasn't there; so many here new to me.
posted by Rash at 10:03 AM on July 21, 2024 [4 favorites]

Yeah, none of these are very memorable, but I chuckled a bit at the CSN hot dogs. Not sure why though...
posted by BlueHorse at 10:06 AM on July 21, 2024 [1 favorite]

I feel like hotdogs are bizarrely over-represented on this list...???
posted by supermedusa at 10:15 AM on July 21, 2024 [9 favorites]

(C'mon, Voorman's drawings of Paul, Ringo and especially John on Revolver are brilliant—it's only his George that isn't spot-on as a likeness, and that's why they say it's bad? That, and a bit of endearingly mid-'60s collage?)
posted by rory at 10:19 AM on July 21, 2024 [7 favorites]

I always thought “Metallica” was a solid hommage to Spin̈al Taps “Smell the glove”.

And no Rave Un2 the Joy Fantastic?
posted by farlukar at 10:25 AM on July 21, 2024 [1 favorite]

the Trick Daddy one is awesome
posted by mullacc at 10:25 AM on July 21, 2024 [3 favorites]

I wonder if the eccentricity, even amateurism, of some of these album covers was a sign that the industry overall was thriving enough to employ a lot of very junior-level designers and art directors, or if everyone was just doing so much coke it didn’t matter.

Also, I find pre-digital artfails a lot more charming than hideous photoshop art, but I think that’s just nostalgia.
posted by ducky l'orange at 10:28 AM on July 21, 2024

On the plus side, this listicle has led me to learn that Roger Daltrey's first solo album (the one before the one here) was mostly co-written by Leo Sayer, who also features here. Six Degrees of Rolling Stone...
posted by rory at 10:28 AM on July 21, 2024 [2 favorites]

Dance of Death has to be in the list, certainly on the basis of "Bands that had a well-established reputation for top-tier over art.... and then did this."

(Personally I dislike the cover art for the X-Factor even more, and always kept the CD booklet turned with the cover facing inside. But it is competent.)
posted by Wolfdog at 10:30 AM on July 21, 2024 [3 favorites]

I really like some of these. Revolver, obviously. Reality and Saved both look really good. And I don't think Going for the One looks bad at all.
posted by pattern juggler at 10:35 AM on July 21, 2024 [1 favorite]

Anything that’s hand painted or drawn like Revolver, Saved, or Reality by James Brown has aged well I’d say. And anything by Hipgnosis gets a thumbs up from me.
The worst is all that 90s low grade photoshop junk.. and a few of the exceptionally bad taste photo shoots ( usually crazy misogynistic apparently ).
posted by Liquidwolf at 10:48 AM on July 21, 2024 [1 favorite]

37 The Beatles, 'Revolver'

Finally, someone has the guts to say it. This cover sucks, sucks, sucks, and stands out even further for sucking so badly when the music itself is so solid.

Article doesn't mention that 14 and 18 were both done by Storm Thorgerson of the Hipgnosis agency, who did or was involved in dozens and dozens of the most well-known album covers of the 70s, notably the prism on "Dark Side of the Moon". I guess they can't all be masterpieces.

And as a young person barely old enough to have spending money in the mid-70s, I do remember 22 (Leo Sayer) and 17 (Orleans) being displayed in record stores everywhere at the time, I'd assume due to the hit singles on them.
posted by gimonca at 10:50 AM on July 21, 2024 [3 favorites]

C'mon, Voorman's drawings of Paul, Ringo and especially John on Revolver are brillian

Nope. That is a terrible album cover, sorry.
posted by cooker girl at 10:53 AM on July 21, 2024 [1 favorite]

Nothing wrong with that Coup cover. Where's Lady Killer?
posted by Jessica Savitch's Coke Spoon at 11:05 AM on July 21, 2024

yeah...I'm not a huge Beatles fan but Revolver is my fav album of theirs. it deserves a better cover.
posted by supermedusa at 11:13 AM on July 21, 2024 [1 favorite]

Revolver should be nowhere near this list. I've always kinda liked Tubthumping's cover. And As Nasty as They Wanna Be feels like a cheap shot. Yeah it's tacky, but it's an accurate reflection the music (late 80s - early 90s Miami Bass), which is one of the goals of an album cover.

There's some real stinkers, though. Seeing the list start with River of Dreams had me go, "That low?", but then I saw what followed it...
posted by May Kasahara at 11:19 AM on July 21, 2024 [1 favorite]

BTW there's a Hipgnosis documentary on Netflix.
posted by credulous at 11:19 AM on July 21, 2024

Nothing wrong with that Coup cover. Where's Lady Killer?

That should be Virgin Killer. I regret the error.
posted by Jessica Savitch's Coke Spoon at 11:42 AM on July 21, 2024

And as a young person barely old enough to have spending money in the mid-70s, I do remember 22 (Leo Sayer) and 17 (Orleans) being displayed in record stores everywhere at the time, I'd assume due to the hit singles on them.

I too was young and broke then, and remember the Leo Sayer album being a staple of cut-out bins at the time.
posted by TedW at 11:49 AM on July 21, 2024

Hard Promises is fine by me
the history's also neat: "Tom Petty was distracted by his record company’s efforts to jack up the price of his album by a dollar, to $9.98. (In response, he threatened to name it The $8.98 Album.)"
posted by HearHere at 11:57 AM on July 21, 2024 [3 favorites]

I don't see what's so bad about the Leo Sayer cover, but then, any list of bad album cover art that ignores the valiant work of Manowar is not worth taking that seriously.
posted by Flashman at 11:57 AM on July 21, 2024

I've always hated the Revolver cover. It sucks.

But none of these covers is as bad as the Ray McKenna cover for Oil & Vinegar or Millie Jackson's Back to the Shit.
posted by dobbs at 12:03 PM on July 21, 2024 [1 favorite]

Rolling Stone editors put bread in their kids' mouths by publishing rage bait like this. Obviously that Coup cover is awesome, but I also love the sheer boomer obliviousness in their disbelief that anyone would make their cover design look like an old internet browser. These are the people hyperpop is made to kill.
posted by jy4m at 12:06 PM on July 21, 2024 [4 favorites]

www.thug.com has passed through tacky and into retro. That classic MacOS theme!
posted by mbrubeck at 12:09 PM on July 21, 2024 [2 favorites]

There are worse covers out there if you look at more obscure artists. For example Ken, by Request Only, Uncle D "talks", and Shut Up and Dance, Dance Before the Police Come!.
posted by swift at 12:12 PM on July 21, 2024

There are worse covers out there if you look at more obscure artists.

The article explained that it gave lesser acts a pass for not having money for art and design. And… I kind of like the Shut Up and Dance cover.
posted by GenjiandProust at 12:24 PM on July 21, 2024

Imo, Spilt Milk by Jellyfish is one of the worst of all time. It's an album that predicts a lot of music trends and should be more influential, but the cover is so bad that people skipped over it.
posted by forbiddencabinet at 12:49 PM on July 21, 2024 [3 favorites]

As to be expected, the real worst album cover list inhabits the backwaters of Pinterest. Mostly a compendium of low-hanging fruit that Rolling Stone wouldn't stoop to stain its pages with, but notably, Orleans "Waking and Dreaming" makes an appearance.
posted by Gordion Knott at 1:16 PM on July 21, 2024 [2 favorites]

As to be expected, the real worst album cover list inhabits the backwaters of Pinterest

Forgot about Born Again. Eek.
posted by Jessica Savitch's Coke Spoon at 1:21 PM on July 21, 2024 [1 favorite]

Number thirteen, www.thug.com, is perfect. It is so amazingly of its moment.
posted by egypturnash at 1:37 PM on July 21, 2024 [2 favorites]

A pleasantly old-school page of Hipgnosis covers ("a whole lotta good stuff and some REALLY bad") from some guy's collection.
posted by Wolfdog at 1:44 PM on July 21, 2024 [1 favorite]

And no Rave Un2 the Joy Fantastic?
posted by farlukar

Wow.. I forgot about that. Strong "Graphic Design Is My Passion" vibes.
posted by latkes at 1:57 PM on July 21, 2024

Dance of Death has to be in the list, certainly on the basis of "Bands that had a well-established reputation for top-tier over art.... and then did this."

Wolfdog, there's story behind this Iron Maiden cover: Dave Patchett ( who did Cathedral's amazing elaborate painted covers ) was meant oo do the cover for Dance of Death. He made a 3D computer model intended as a SKETCH to show the record label. Somehow the label thought this was a final version ( don't ask me how it was approved by the band etc ) and it went print this way. Patchett was so horrified he made them take his name off the credits. The whole thing is baffling but that's what happened apparently.
posted by Liquidwolf at 2:16 PM on July 21, 2024 [4 favorites]

I am shocked, SHOCKED, at the lack of attention paid to Pen & Pixel here

(a LOT of linkrot in that 14 year old FPP. please enjoy P&P's sample work on behalf of Nine Inch Nails (sadly never released)
posted by ivan ivanych samovar at 3:08 PM on July 21, 2024

That Pinterest page is full of delightfully poorly-named Christian albums, but I had that Adrian Boult recording of The Planets and it was pretty solid despite the cover.
posted by lhauser at 4:40 PM on July 21, 2024

I'm sorry, but I won't accept any such list which doesn't include More of the Monkees. The studio rushed the album out without the band's knowledge or input, and the cover art was taken from a JCPenney's ad.

Also, The Miracle by Queen (#47) was part of the band's efforts to hide Freddie Mercury's declining health. I love the band, but based on this post's title (and my own preferences), I thought Sheer Heart Attack would be the more likely candidate. Particularly dissonant compared to their other album covers.
posted by cheshyre at 4:50 PM on July 21, 2024

I assume that Bob Dylan cover is a nod to the artist known as Harvey whose paintings graced many Savoy gospel albums.
posted by hydrophonic at 5:25 PM on July 21, 2024

I am shocked, SHOCKED, at the lack of attention paid to Pen & Pixel here

That would fill the whole list!
posted by Liquidwolf at 6:02 PM on July 21, 2024 [1 favorite]

I don't think it's good art, especially, but Christie Brinkley's painting for the Billy Joel cover seems surprisingly competent. (Surprising in that I don't think you get to that piece just by picking up a brush on a whim one weekend. I don't know anything about her as a human, whether she studied art or is self-taught, maybe modelling was just a way to fund her real passion for the canvas [in which case, maybe the criticism is deserved]...anyway, here she is in her Sag Harbor home studio, with the painting in question.)
posted by maxwelton at 8:09 PM on July 21, 2024 [4 favorites]

I wish they could just call something like this "50 random album covers that came to mind that we wanted to snark about." Because that's what this is but it's also fine.
posted by dusty potato at 8:51 PM on July 21, 2024 [2 favorites]

Best advice on album covers:
David St. Hubbins: It's such a fine line between stupid, and uh...
Nigel Tufnel: Clever.
David St. Hubbins: Yeah, and clever.
posted by not_on_display at 11:39 PM on July 21, 2024

I actually like many of the sleeves on this list, they're maybe not slick but they're interesting and funny, and have a fair amount of quirkiness and individuality. I think the Christie Brinkley painting is kinda cool.

But yeah, when I finally made it to the top of the list, the ultimate 8 or so selections really are objectively bad. They all kinda both fuck up the perspective and make the recording artist look unflattering.
posted by ovvl at 6:14 AM on July 22, 2024

With some of these it is a matter of not having aged well. One album cover which should be on the list, having not aged at all well and which was even regarded as a mistake at the time is surely Blind Faith.
posted by epo at 7:08 AM on July 22, 2024

The Metallica album cover is better than some of the songs on there. Wasn't there a Corey Feldman album considered? There are plenty of terrible albums from far more famous artists.

I think that would be a good list: worst album covers with a song that got to #1 on the charts on them.
posted by The_Vegetables at 7:45 AM on July 22, 2024

Fuck it, I'm here for Party Music.
posted by slogger at 8:05 AM on July 22, 2024 [2 favorites]

Also if you we are judging worst Beatles cover, I know people like it, but Sgt Peppers, especially since the others are generally iconic.

I know it's got a lot of famous people hiding and iconography and whatnot, but IMO it's a mess with the framing, the wouldn't place in the Rose Parade flower work, and the overall vibe is "children's Where's Waldo picture find" rather than amazing album artwork.
posted by The_Vegetables at 8:35 AM on July 22, 2024

I recall being underwhelmed by the cover art and music of the Black album by Metallica when it came out.
posted by Liquidwolf at 9:53 AM on July 22, 2024 [1 favorite]

It's weird how much the author seems to want to put Nevermind on this, especially since he totally should have.
posted by atbash at 1:17 PM on July 22, 2024 [1 favorite]

Also, Revolver is my favorite Beatles record. Absolutely wretched cover art.
posted by thivaia at 1:21 PM on July 22, 2024 [1 favorite]

Good job, rs. These are all terrible for sure. Well, except the Petty one which is a little boring but cool.
posted by caviar2d2 at 5:47 AM on July 23, 2024

Also that 2 Live Crew record was so bad musically and content wise it made me wanna stick up for the PMRC. What bullshit !
posted by caviar2d2 at 5:48 AM on July 23, 2024

MetaFilter: you are now "on-line"
posted by not_on_display at 4:49 PM on July 23, 2024 [2 favorites]

People go to album covers for the art like they go to airlines for the food. The Beatles had precisely one good album cover, Abbey Road, and that was good precisely and only because it was a real place that you could go to and imitate the cover (as many thousands have). The White Album was part John imitating one of Yoko's art projects and part a statement on the general quality of their album art; the infamous butcher cover was probably also a statement of sorts.
posted by Halloween Jack at 5:34 AM on July 24, 2024