The Martyrdom Of Saint Sebastian, In Ascending Order Of Sexiness
July 27, 2024 7:47 AM Subscribe
Oh, The Toast! Long time no see. If you, like me, got an ERR_CERT_DATE_INVALID error message when trying to access Daniel's amazing writings, here's the link at The Wayback Machine.
posted by soundofsuburbia at 7:57 AM on July 27 [6 favorites]
posted by soundofsuburbia at 7:57 AM on July 27 [6 favorites]
Does that page give anyone else a security warning? Is it just because their SSL certificate has expired?
Yes, I got a security warning when I tested the link, and yes, it is just because The Toast has let their certificate expire.
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 7:57 AM on July 27
Yes, I got a security warning when I tested the link, and yes, it is just because The Toast has let their certificate expire.
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 7:57 AM on July 27
"Accept the risk and continue" is a very Saint Sebastian button to press.
posted by mittens at 8:00 AM on July 27 [12 favorites]
posted by mittens at 8:00 AM on July 27 [12 favorites]
I appreciate Apple looking out for users, but their browser is a helicopter mom.
*shambles off* Just wanted to click that stupid link. But nooooo, Steve Jobs is preventing me from the grave. "You shall not click!" YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME, STEVE!
posted by JustSayNoDawg at 8:12 AM on July 27 [1 favorite]
*shambles off* Just wanted to click that stupid link. But nooooo, Steve Jobs is preventing me from the grave. "You shall not click!" YOU'RE NOT THE BOSS OF ME, STEVE!
posted by JustSayNoDawg at 8:12 AM on July 27 [1 favorite]
I love this.
I teach a five-day workshop on Walt Whitman's poem "Song of Myself." Every time I do, there is someone who, early in the week, pushes back against the idea that there's anything homoerotic in the poem. "It's a metaphor," they say. Or: "But those are the actual names of parts of plants!"
Yes. But plants have many parts, yet Whitman, a poet, specifically chose "crotch, love-root, vine."
This year, I had one person who just kept insisting, beyond anything I've experienced before, that it's all metaphor. Even, say, Section 21, where the poet fucks the earth:
This participant kept referencing something something St John (of the Cross, I think? I am not a Christian) and how it describes stroking Jesus' hair and suchlike but is totally a metaphor, nothing but metaphor.
Late in the week, we got talking about how Whitman unites sexuality and spirituality. This is at a Quaker conference, and a number of my participants (and I myself) are queer, most of us part of a Quaker LGBTQ group that's been going on for decades and that is the true seat of the spirituality of many of us.
And this participant says, "Sexuality and spirituality have nothing to do with each other."
There is a stunned silence. None of us knows how to respond to this. And now, a couple of weeks later, I don't remember how we moved on.
Anyway, he would respond to this article with something about how St. Sebastian was totally naked, bound, and pierced by arrows, so all these pictures are equivalent visual representations.
But we know better, don't we?
posted by Well I never at 8:34 AM on July 27 [5 favorites]
I teach a five-day workshop on Walt Whitman's poem "Song of Myself." Every time I do, there is someone who, early in the week, pushes back against the idea that there's anything homoerotic in the poem. "It's a metaphor," they say. Or: "But those are the actual names of parts of plants!"
Yes. But plants have many parts, yet Whitman, a poet, specifically chose "crotch, love-root, vine."
This year, I had one person who just kept insisting, beyond anything I've experienced before, that it's all metaphor. Even, say, Section 21, where the poet fucks the earth:
Smile O voluptuous cool-breathed earth!Metaphor!
Earth of the slumbering and liquid trees!
Earth of departed sunset! Earth of the mountains misty-topt!
Earth of the vitreous pour of the full moon just tinged with blue!
Earth of shine and dark mottling the tide of the river!
Earth of the limpid gray of clouds brighter and clearer for my sake!
Far-swooping elbowed earth! Rich apple-blossomed earth!
Smile, for your lover comes.
Prodigal, you have given me love! Therefore I to you give love!
O unspeakable passionate love.
Thruster holding me tight and that I hold tight!
We hurt each other as the bridegroom and the bride hurt each other.
This participant kept referencing something something St John (of the Cross, I think? I am not a Christian) and how it describes stroking Jesus' hair and suchlike but is totally a metaphor, nothing but metaphor.
Late in the week, we got talking about how Whitman unites sexuality and spirituality. This is at a Quaker conference, and a number of my participants (and I myself) are queer, most of us part of a Quaker LGBTQ group that's been going on for decades and that is the true seat of the spirituality of many of us.
And this participant says, "Sexuality and spirituality have nothing to do with each other."
There is a stunned silence. None of us knows how to respond to this. And now, a couple of weeks later, I don't remember how we moved on.
Anyway, he would respond to this article with something about how St. Sebastian was totally naked, bound, and pierced by arrows, so all these pictures are equivalent visual representations.
But we know better, don't we?
posted by Well I never at 8:34 AM on July 27 [5 favorites]
“They couldn’t possibly get more outlandish, he’s in a bulging diaper –” WAIT FOR IT.
posted by doctornemo at 9:26 AM on July 27
posted by doctornemo at 9:26 AM on July 27
“Well I never,” did you ask him if maybe Christianity itself was just a metaphor, and god didn’t actually ever exist?
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 10:20 AM on July 27 [2 favorites]
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 10:20 AM on July 27 [2 favorites]
Some other context: Saint Sebastian as a gay icon and Arrows of desire: How did St Sebastian become an enduring, homo-erotic icon?.
I'm surprised there's no Caravaggio of San Sebastian.
posted by Nelson at 10:21 AM on July 27 [2 favorites]
I'm surprised there's no Caravaggio of San Sebastian.
posted by Nelson at 10:21 AM on July 27 [2 favorites]
And this participant says, "Sexuality and spirituality have nothing to do with each other."
There is a stunned silence. None of us knows how to respond to this.
"oh, HONey..." would have been the first words out of my mouth
posted by kokaku at 12:03 PM on July 27 [2 favorites]
There is a stunned silence. None of us knows how to respond to this.
"oh, HONey..." would have been the first words out of my mouth
posted by kokaku at 12:03 PM on July 27 [2 favorites]
In Art History we knew him as The Holy Pincushion...
posted by jim in austin at 12:32 PM on July 27 [1 favorite]
posted by jim in austin at 12:32 PM on July 27 [1 favorite]
And you probably all know about Sebastiane, the 1976 biopic about St Sebastian. (In Latin! With English subtitles!)
posted by Multicellular Exothermic at 1:24 PM on July 27 [1 favorite]
posted by Multicellular Exothermic at 1:24 PM on July 27 [1 favorite]
Years ago, I worked at a Catholic college run by the Brothers of the Holy Cross. In semester, the “posters for your dorm room” people were on campus. I found one of the brothers looking at an ad that was a male torso from chin to pubes, hands behind his head. “What’s up, Bro. George?” I ask. “I wonder if this is really appropriate for our students.” he replied. “I’ll fix it,” said I and reached behind the counter to grab a post-it, drew a couple of shafts and feathers, and stuck them in the ad. “Oh, ha-ha” said the disgruntled Brother.
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:12 PM on July 27 [10 favorites]
posted by GenjiandProust at 3:12 PM on July 27 [10 favorites]
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posted by I-Write-Essays at 7:55 AM on July 27 [8 favorites]