Rankception

September 10, 2024 1:21 PM

All 85 of The Spinoff’s rankings, ranked from worst to best
posted by Sebmojo (10 comments total)

She clearly did not think enough about #85.
posted by skyscraper at 1:35 PM on September 10 [5 favorites]

I can't believe I'm doing this, but, for the TLDR crowd:

85. Beans
84. Tim Tams
83. Dogs wearing dog costumes
82. Discontinued sweets
81. Every pedestrian who ignored Wellington Phoenix FC’s new logo launch, ranked
80, 79 & 78. Abysses to gaze into; Bubbles nearly as good as the trans-Tasman bubble; Lockdown sale items
77 & 76. Tear-jerking ads and TV pets
75. Recipe bases and meal companions
74 & 73. Celebrity cake portraits and Celebrity baking skills
72. Celebrity beards
71. Real estate agent ads
70. Mediaworks personalities
69. Workplace robots of New Zealand
68. Haka world record attempts
67. Chasers
66 & 65. Road Tunnels and Tunnel-boring machines
64. Every Mike Pero finger point in The Apprentice Aotearoa
63. Ikea foods
62. Wayne Brown interviews
61. The maddest Insta-breakfasts of The Mad Butcher
60. Politicians holding things
59. Place names
58. Potatoes
57. Political Xmas merch
56 & 55. Steve Parr slides and Suzanne Paul cameos
54, 53, 52 & 51. Low-alcohol beer, non-alcoholic spirits, hard seltzers and new-wave RTDs
50. Schoolyard gossip
49. Wellington second-hand bookshops
48. Advent calendars
47. Vegetarian sausages
46. The best trans-Tasman sporting rivalries
45. The best times and places to eat toast, ranked
44. Politician’s zoom backgrounds
43. Thin Lizzy jingle items
42. All the songs in Kiri and Lou
41. Windows Screensavers
40. Election vehicles
39. Original pokemon
38. Oat milks
37. Mansfield short stories
36, 35 & 34. Non-alcoholic beers, 2020, 2022 & 2024
33. Nuts
32. Apples
31. Steve Arnott’s waistcoats in Line of Duty
30. Koru Lounge scandals
29. Big Brother diary room chairs
28. Celebrity animals
27. The top 10 dairy names that have also been locations of interest
26. All the supermarket hot cross buns
25. All the characters in the Hairy Maclary universe
24. Jesus’s disciples
23. Email sign-offs
22. Canned coffee
21. Stadia
20. Celebrity Treasure Island contestants
19. Biggest stupid monuments
18. Blackcaps cricket shirts
17. Canned wine
16. Fish and chip sides
15. Fast food fries
14. Mini easter eggs
13. 30 years of Shortland street
12. Vegan cheese
11. Winston Peters vs David Seymour: their 15 most venomous insults, ranked
10. NRL mascots
9. Taskmaster tasks
8. Election slogans
7 & 6. Every pudding in the Edmond’s cookbook and Every cold dessert in the Edmond’s cookbook
5. All 54 classic Whittaker’s flavours ranked from worst to best
4. All 142 biscuit flavours in New Zealand ranked from worst to best
3. Every dairy lolly in New Zealand, reviewed and ranked
2. All 123 chip flavours in New Zealand ranked from worst to best
1. All 87 ice blocks in New Zealand ranked from worst to best
posted by Metro Gnome at 2:10 PM on September 10 [7 favorites]

After reading this I feel like I could get a reasonable foundation in New Zealand culture from reading all 85 rankings.

That said, the one link I felt compelled to click was Josie Graham’s
Abysses to gaze into. That it was at 80 was daylight robbery, but the list itself has a handy rejoinder, at number 2:

The Spinoff rankings

Searching the “rankings” tag on my favourite website, The Spinoff, is a spiritual abyss. Gaze upon rankings of Bachelorette contestants, TV news masks and tunnel boring machines and realise the futility of attempting to create order in the world. No matter what order you put alcohol-free beer brands in, the chaos of modern society continues. You cannot escape the abyss by assigning numerical value to it. I have climbed deeper into this abyss by writing this article. If I descend far enough I might enter Hell and finally be free.

Quibbling aside, I enjoyed Hera Lindsay Bird’s article immensely.
posted by Kattullus at 2:12 PM on September 10 [1 favorite]

Well, there goes my idea for a megapost on the stories of Katherine Mansfield, but I'm glad it's been done already.
posted by Wobbuffet at 2:12 PM on September 10 [1 favorite]

The only worthy six-digit ranking I can think of is The Mitford Sisters Nancy > Jessica > Pam > Unity > Diana > Deb

I’m not all that well versed in the Mitford Sisters, but how does Deb come last in that group?
posted by Horace Rumpole at 2:37 PM on September 10 [4 favorites]

Well, there goes my idea for a megapost on the stories of Katherine Mansfield

I'd say go for it anyway! Surely that's a topic deep enough for a post with a little bit of research. Whereas if you were angling for a post on 'Every Mike Pero finger point in The Apprentice Aotearoa' you might now face a duplicate takedown.
posted by Metro Gnome at 2:58 PM on September 10 [2 favorites]

Also not well versed in Mitford sisters, but, after a very quick Wikipedia review, I'm going to go:

Jessica > Nancy > Pam > Deb > Diana > Unity
posted by box at 3:44 PM on September 10 [2 favorites]

Clearly 42 and 43 should be switched.
posted by chasing at 4:40 PM on September 10

They missed one.
posted by polytope subirb enby-of-piano-dice at 7:37 AM on September 11

@skyscaper I saw what you did there!
posted by idb at 1:32 PM on September 12