History and Variations of "The Star of Any Holiday Party"

December 24, 2024 9:14 AM

"In their primitive state, Cheese balls first became manifest in the White House. Do try not to be too surprised. The first executive cheese ball was crafted by Elder John Leland of Cheshire, Massachusetts in 1801. Purportedly the Baptist community of Cheshire donated milk from over 900 cows to make a 1,235 pound ball known as 'The Mammoth Cheese.'" In North Carolina, a cheese ball is "the star around which all holiday gatherings orbit." Things are a bit different in Texas. Predictably, Wisconsin can tell you how to make great cheese balls.

Balled varieties of cheese exist around the world! Try an Antilles cheese ball or sample a Brazilian cheese ball, or try a Brazilian cheese ball in London. Slovak Easter Cheese (Cirak) is more egg-shaped than ball-shaped, but it also deserves your attention. The Italian cheese ball may or may not, uh, originate from Italy, but I'd try it. Kennst du Kartoffel-Käse-Bällchen? Have an international favorite cheese-ball-ovoid-thing of your own? Add it in the comments!

Did you know that some balls are wreath-shaped?

Do you know about National Cheeseball Day?

Wikipedia has you covered with more basics and further reading.

Recent advances in vegan cheese ball studies.

Previously. Previouslier.

posted by cupcakeninja (17 comments total)

"the star around which all holiday gatherings orbit"

ah, but to over-indulge results in the deeply impacted black hole
posted by ginger.beef at 9:20 AM on December 24 [3 favorites]

a 1,235 pound ball known as 'The Mammoth Cheese'

Okay, I'll have that.
posted by DirtyOldTown at 9:25 AM on December 24 [2 favorites]

over-indulge results in the deeply impacted black hole

Not if you over-indulge enough, it doesn't! :-D
posted by cupcakeninja at 9:29 AM on December 24 [1 favorite]

“Orbit” coming when it did made me expect someone had constructed a cheese ball that could be seen from space.
posted by Lemkin at 9:34 AM on December 24 [1 favorite]

Well, with the right optics...
posted by cupcakeninja at 9:38 AM on December 24

I'm just about to make my mom's Texas cheese ball for a party tomorrow. Delicious old fashioned cheese, what's not to like? Ours is not like the linked Saveur recipe, I find its cranberries and blue cheese and pecans mixture very strange and not particularly Texas. Well OK, the pecans are.

My mom's is mostly cheddar. And light Tex-Mex spices, garlic powder, onion power, a pinch of cayenne. No cumin. The weird ingredient is mustard. The unifying factor is liquid smoke. It's not sophisticated but it's delicious and tastes like memory.

Two more Texas recipes to consider. Homesick Texan's version has Worcestershire, an idea I'm borrowing. There's also Helen Corbitt's classic recipe which I suspect both Homesick Texan and my mother's is based on. Corbitt's version also has mustard. But then pickled beets for some reason.

(Helen Corbitt deserves a post of her own. Two good profiles: Texas Monthly (paywall bypass) and Texas Exes.)
posted by Nelson at 9:52 AM on December 24 [3 favorites]

This notably leaves out the neon-red and orange port wine cheese ball, which is the only kind I knew existed until recently. That’s a cheese spread, which makes sense to me. In these other ones, it seems like there’s just shreds of grated cheese suspended in cream cheese? So the texture is kinda chunky? I don’t fully understand.
posted by Jon_Evil at 10:21 AM on December 24 [2 favorites]

My mom's cheese ball is cheddar + cream cheese. At room temperature it's sort of spreadable, cold in the fridge it's only sliceable. There's about 4 tablespoons of liquid added to a pound and a half of cheese but that seems enough to keep it pliable. Probably the cream cheese is doing the work.
posted by Nelson at 10:24 AM on December 24 [1 favorite]

I usually make Amy Sedaris' Lil Smoky Cheese Ball. Smoked gouda, cream cheese, steak sauce, butter, dash of milk. The recipe is all over the net. I make a half batch, add finely chopped green onion, and use finely chopped walnuts for the coating.
posted by indexy at 10:27 AM on December 24

Jon_Evil, I grew up with cheese balls a bit like that, sometimes a big paler. My wife grew up with them having various other add-ins. This year we used good deli olives, vs. the usual olives-in-a-jar, and they definitely add chunky goodness.
posted by cupcakeninja at 10:27 AM on December 24

Cheese balls are alright for some, but to really feel the thrust of the holiday season you need to get your lips around a couple of Schweddy Balls
posted by chavenet at 10:35 AM on December 24 [2 favorites]

This time of year I usually serve tiny mozzarella balls in honor of the baby cheeses.
posted by Gilgamesh's Chauffeur at 11:29 AM on December 24 [9 favorites]

Flagged as delicious, Gilgamesh's Chauffeur.
posted by cupcakeninja at 11:37 AM on December 24

I don't know what recipe she uses but a friend from Chicago makes a killer French Quarter cheese ball

as a Wisconsinite I'm always down for a random premade Kaukauna port wine or what have you but this shit is next level
posted by taquito sunrise at 12:17 PM on December 24 [1 favorite]

To be fair, a star is a ball of indescribably hot gas burning for billions of years, while a cheese ball is a ball that will cause indescribable gas for what may feel like billions of years.
posted by GenjiandProust at 12:36 PM on December 24 [2 favorites]

And now, Poetry lovers, it is time for Ode on the Mammoth Cheese by James McIntyre:

We have seen thee, Queen of cheese,
Laying quietly at your ease,
Gently fanned by evening breeze --
Thy fair form no flies dare seize.

etc. etc. for many more stanzas, finally ending with:

Wert thou suspended from balloon,
You'd cast a shade even at noon,
Folks would think it was the moon
About to fall and crush them soon.
posted by Harvey Kilobit at 9:05 PM on December 24 [2 favorites]

And here I thought that William McGonegall was unsurpassed at terrible verse and now I have the delights of James McIntyre to look forward too. What joy!!
posted by ninazer0 at 12:54 AM on December 25