Dear Hitler...

February 10, 2005 5:37 PM

And you thought Elvis had problems...
posted by blindsam (28 comments total)

You can't have a set-up like that and not print the text. Fortunately, the Telegraph had it:

Dear Führer Hitler:
I love and like you so much. I am your very best good friend and your SS personnel. Thank you so much for coming to see me in your splendid image last night... you have my life... and all my money.
-- Herr T.
The postcard concluded with a copy of an encyclopaedia entry on the "Legend of the Welsh Lovespoon".

Sounds a bit like a coded message. I hope.
posted by dhartung at 6:11 PM on February 10, 2005

A postcard from England, for Hitler? Hmmmm...

Dear Mr. Hitler,

I'm only five years old, but I'm a big fan of yours! Mommy says I'm a good helper at home. When I grow up, I hope I can be a helper to you too!

Yours truly,

David Irving
posted by PlusDistance at 6:12 PM on February 10, 2005

PlusDistance! rofl--perfect! : >

i can't believe hitler got such fawning postcards from guys--too weird. I wonder what ever happened to the guy who sent it?
posted by amberglow at 6:16 PM on February 10, 2005

I wonder what ever happened to the guy who sent it?

He dances in a cage at a nightclub three nights a week. He answers to "Bridget," now.
posted by jonmc at 6:33 PM on February 10, 2005

Dear Mr. Hitler,

All your base are belong to us.

Sincerely,

Winston Churchill
posted by pyramid termite at 6:39 PM on February 10, 2005

Dear Fuehrer Adolf Hitler,

You may already be a winner in this year's Publisher's Clearinghouse Sweepstakes.

Sincerely,
Ed McMahon
posted by phirleh at 6:42 PM on February 10, 2005

My Dearest Adolf,
I am at your your service. I understand that you have an interest in UFOs and time travel. Good job with the chemtrails, I must say. Please contact me when you have a chance.

Your friend always,

Jeff Rense
posted by snsranch at 6:48 PM on February 10, 2005

to:[e-mail]

Subject: SPECIAL OFFER!!

Are you dissatisied with the size and number of testicles you posess/ Our special Sack Cream is the answer to your prayers! Just send your name, social security and credit card numbers today!

We also have Viagra & Vicodin at a discount. The combination is wonderful. You'll be unconscious but you'll have a huge erection. You can invite neighborhood kids over to play ring toss.
posted by jonmc at 6:53 PM on February 10, 2005

Say what you will about the man, but that is one hell of a mustache.
posted by Doug at 6:58 PM on February 10, 2005

Doug, I actually saw an old guy on the subway rockin' the hitler stash awhile back. He didn't have an regalia on, so he didn't seem to be any kind of nazi. Maybe he just wanted to score with hot Aryan babes.
posted by jonmc at 7:02 PM on February 10, 2005

Dear Mr. Hitler,

Good day and compliments! Please allow me to introduce myself. My name is Dr. (Mrs.) Mariam Abacha, the wife of the late head of state and commander-in-chief of the armed forces of the Federal Republic of Nigeria. My husband had accumulated the sum of EIGHTY MILLION DEUTSCHMARKS, and I now require assistance in moving these assets from the country before the present government finds out about it...
posted by kindall at 7:16 PM on February 10, 2005

Dear Reichskanzler,

Sig Heil, etc. How is Prussia this time of year? England is miserable, the weather is a total holocaust!

Anyway, say hello to that gas Eichmann and all the guys back in the Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei for me. Tell von Stauffenberg I think he's der bomb!

A big Roman salute,
Tristan und Isolde
posted by Mean Mr. Bucket at 7:22 PM on February 10, 2005

My husband had accumulated the sum of EIGHTY MILLION DEUTSCHMARKS, and I now require assistance in moving these assets from the country before the present government finds out about it

They use euros now.
posted by delmoi at 7:25 PM on February 10, 2005

Dearest Dolfie,

I wake filled with thoughts of you. Your portrait and the intoxicating evening which we spent yesterday have left my senses in turmoil. Sweet, incomparable Adolf, what a strange effect you have on my heart! Are you angry? Do I see you looking sad? Are you worried?... My soul aches with sorrow, and there can be no rest for you lover; but is there still more in store for me when, yielding to the profound feelings which overwhelm me, I draw from your lips, from your heart a love which consumes me with fire? Ah! it was last night that I fully realized how false an image of you your portrait gives!

You are leaving at noon; I shall see you in three hours.

Until then, mio dolce amor, a thousand kisses; but give me none in return, for they set my blood on fire.

Woof,
Blondie
posted by swift at 7:33 PM on February 10, 2005

Besides, it was Reichsmarks, don't forget.
posted by atchafalaya at 7:36 PM on February 10, 2005

The handwritten postcard began "Dear Führer Hitler" and was signed by a "Herr T".
posted by Faint of Butt at 7:43 PM on February 10, 2005

Jon, is there any other fashion so closely associated with evil? Any rebellious kid getting piercings and tattoos and whatnot should look to that guy you saw as a true fashion rebel.
posted by Doug at 7:44 PM on February 10, 2005

Jon, is there any other fashion so closely associated with evil?

Well, I remember that back in the 90's there was some yo-yo tattoo artist who said that his mission in life was to "rehabilitate the swastika."

But then again, I'm 34 years old. Hitler mustaches don't scare me. You want to scare me dress like a Jehovah's Witness or an IRS agent.
posted by jonmc at 7:48 PM on February 10, 2005

Now if this were a crazy Stephen King book... the dead would receive the post card :O
posted by TwelveTwo at 7:49 PM on February 10, 2005

That mustache made him look like he just got punched in the nose and had bloody snot running down into his mouth. What was he thinking?
posted by caddis at 7:50 PM on February 10, 2005

I think pyramid termite wins the thread...
posted by The Thnikkaman at 8:41 PM on February 10, 2005

So agreed!
posted by damn yankee at 9:24 PM on February 10, 2005

Glad you all enjoyed this, thanks for making the posting fun.
posted by blindsam at 5:03 AM on February 11, 2005

I'd like to know why it took SIXTY years to deliver... If Deutsche Post feels obligated to deliver mail even if the addressee is dead, why can't they manage to do it in a timely fashion?

Also, if this guy loved Hitler so much, why was the card addressed to the Reichstag and not "Hitler's Love Shack. Take a left at Kristallnacht and straight on until morning. Munich." Or whatever his home address was.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 5:33 AM on February 11, 2005

I'd like to know why it took SIXTY years to deliver... If Deutsche Post feels obligated to deliver mail even if the addressee is dead, why can't they manage to do it in a timely fashion?

I think it was only recently sent.
posted by thirteenkiller at 6:34 AM on February 11, 2005

Dear Mr. Hitler,

MAKE MONEY FAST!

My name is Dave Rhodes...
posted by SisterHavana at 8:20 AM on February 11, 2005

Boy I don't know, The Thnikkaman, pyramid termite's was great but I think I have to go with Mean Mr. Bucket.
posted by Songdog at 9:45 AM on February 11, 2005

I think it was only recently sent.

Ah, so it was. I just assumed that this was one of those "old mail finally reaches its desination" stories. Clearly, I have seen Amelie a few too many times.

That makes it slightly weirder.

I wonder what would happen if you sent something to a similar figure in the U.S... I don't think the USPS is as anal as Deutsche Post about making sure mail is delievered even if the recipient is famously dead.
posted by grapefruitmoon at 10:11 AM on February 11, 2005