cluck cluck cluck BAWK! ROAR!!

March 15, 2009 11:03 AM

When and if the dinochicken is created, Horner looks forward to bringing it out on a leash during lectures. (book)
posted by Pants! (23 comments total)

A turkey would be bigger and more fun. RARR!
posted by gubo at 11:22 AM on March 15, 2009 [1 favorite]

I look forward to bringing it out on a dish during dinners.
posted by not_on_display at 11:24 AM on March 15, 2009 [1 favorite]

Little Jack Horner sat in the corner,
tweaking his chicken's genome.
He stuck in some regulatory elements and pulled out archaeopteryx,
and said "what a good boy I've become!"
posted by Cold Lurkey at 11:24 AM on March 15, 2009 [6 favorites]

This is actually the technique the scientists will use in my zombie dinosaur screenplay.
posted by brundlefly at 11:25 AM on March 15, 2009

Horner looks forward to bringing it out on a leash during lectures.
posted by netbros at 11:26 AM on March 15, 2009

"The only reason we're using chickens, instead of some other bird, is that the chicken genome has been mapped, and chickens have already been exhaustively studied,"

And boy are their wings tired!
posted by DU at 11:38 AM on March 15, 2009 [1 favorite]

I completely mis-read the post as saying: "When and if the dinochicken is created, Hormel looks forward to bringing it out on a leash during lectures."

Anyway, I'm glad they aren't planning on feeding this to us…yet.
posted by paisley henosis at 11:39 AM on March 15, 2009

The downside to all of this is that they will get out, multiply, fear nothing, run in packs and eat babies. The only thing that will stop them is a fucking meteor hitting the planet.
posted by jimmythefish at 11:48 AM on March 15, 2009

I can predict the manner of my death.

"Holy shit! Where'd you get that scar?"
"Fucking dinochicken bit me."

At which point, I will die laughing.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 12:09 PM on March 15, 2009

The only thing that will stop them is a fucking meteor hitting the planet.

That or looking up during a rain storm.
posted by brundlefly at 12:10 PM on March 15, 2009 [3 favorites]

Really? No better references than Crichton yet? I'm sorry, but "they could bring back dinosaurs, which are big and scary" was trite low-hanging fruit. The real applicable science fiction plot here is "they could bring back dinosaurs, which which are mostly small and taste like chicken".
posted by roystgnr at 12:49 PM on March 15, 2009 [1 favorite]

There is no danger of the proposed dinochicken escaping and populating the world with dinosaurs, Horner said, since only the chicken's development, and not its genome, would have been affected. If the creature did somehow escape and could mate, the result would just be a regular chicken.

They always say that before marauding packs of screeching dinochickens start running through the streets, tearing chunks of living flesh from people until they fall to the ground and their still thrashing bodies are rent asunder by frenzied, bloodthirsty Chanteclers and Leghorns.
posted by louche mustachio at 12:53 PM on March 15, 2009

As a child who was tormented by roosters - let me just say that this is a terrible, terrible idea. Bringing back such characteristics as "a tail, teeth and forearms" (and I assume, claws on the ends of the toes on those forearms) will create a being of such pure evil that I shudder to contemplate it. Imagine a vicious, stupid, aggressive chickenasaurus that not only hates you, but can HOLD ON WHILE IT BITES YOUR FACE!

You have been warned....
posted by The Light Fantastic at 1:50 PM on March 15, 2009 [2 favorites]

I completely mis-read the post as saying: "When and if the dinochicken is created, Hormel Homer looks forward to bringing it out on a leash during lectures."

Mmmmm....dinochickens.
posted by jimmythefish at 2:24 PM on March 15, 2009

Hmmmmm, tastes like velociraptor.
posted by localroger at 2:25 PM on March 15, 2009

"For millions of years, the Earth trembled under the footsteps of these giant reptiles, such as the fierce Tyrannosaurus Rex (right). This reconstruction reflects the current view that the dinosaurs , for all their size and ferocity, may have been closley related to birds."

Yay, Science Made Stupid wins again.
posted by DanielDManiel at 2:29 PM on March 15, 2009

You can swing by the Bozeman Public Library next week to hear him talk about it, if you're in the area (March 25, 7 pm). I'm sure it will be a fun talk; he gets pretty excited talking about this project.
posted by amarie at 6:36 PM on March 15, 2009

Also, I want to someday have a pet chicken with scales instead of feathers. Make it happen, Jack!
posted by amarie at 6:53 PM on March 15, 2009

...he gets pretty excited talking about this project.

They all do, hence the tunnel visi...er, focus. There's nothing I want more than a Rhode Island Red that with teeth that can run faster than I can, balance well, and leap at me.

Alarmism aside, what are the implications of success? Do we reverse-engineer bison? Or bananas? What happens when we figure out the hard way that introns are just bad code - and we hooked into one like a script kiddie running a hack he only partially understands to cause some real harm?

Developers have testers to ensure as little bad code as possible doesn't reach the real world. How, exactly, does one unit-test a chicken?
posted by FormlessOne at 6:57 PM on March 15, 2009

On the upside, Obama could ride it out and throw candy to people.
posted by Smedleyman at 7:17 PM on March 15, 2009

How, exactly, does one unit-test a chicken?

The first link mentioned monitoring embryonic development while the chicken is still inside the egg. If something goes wrong, maybe it ends up as dinner. Also, they are manipulating the development of the embryos, not the chicken genomes, and all changes happen on an embryo-by-embryo basis. They will be able to control where these things end up. This project has been ongoing for several years (I first heard about it 3 years ago), so it seems they are, at least, taking it slow.
posted by amarie at 7:18 PM on March 15, 2009

How, exactly, does one unit-test a chicken?

I'm thinking ... two guys. First guy has a stopwatch, clipboard and pen. Second guy has a 12-gauge shotgun and a belt bag fulla shells.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 8:16 PM on March 15, 2009 [2 favorites]

I came for the mad science. I was not disappointed.
posted by chairface at 4:41 PM on March 16, 2009