Sex for Great Justice!
April 19, 2009 6:50 PM   Subscribe



 
A SEX ADVICE CHANNEL FOR ADULTS 18 AND OVER THAT ARE OF A MATURE MINDSET.

IF YOU ARE UNDER THE AGE LIMIT PLEASE RESPECT WHAT I DO AND SEEK YOUR PARENTS CONSENT BEFORE WATCHING.


Yeah, that'll work.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 6:55 PM on April 19, 2009 [1 favorite]


Does anybody actually need to know that their tingly bits are happy? I mean, I've never doubted...
posted by Pope Guilty at 6:57 PM on April 19, 2009


Well, I know they make me happy. But I hadn't realized they had feelings of their own. Now I've gotta worry about whether I'm making them happy too?
posted by nebulawindphone at 7:06 PM on April 19, 2009 [1 favorite]


I think I have seen some of these before. This chick is hilariously awesome with her frankness.
posted by jellywerker at 7:18 PM on April 19, 2009


All I know after the first 10 seconds of that video is that she really has the Myspace-oblique-angle-slimming-photo down.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 7:26 PM on April 19, 2009


It's Sex with Sue for the Youtube generation. (That's pretty high praise actually)
posted by Popular Ethics at 7:28 PM on April 19, 2009


Oh great, something else I should probably know.
posted by mattoxic at 7:39 PM on April 19, 2009


Jesus...obnoxious photo montage of someone who is obviously 80 lbs lighter...false advertising pics are all I need to see before I hit the back button.
posted by GavinR at 7:44 PM on April 19, 2009


Her advice for men to get women in the mood: clean the house.

You've come a long way, baby. That advice could have come out of a 1940s marriage manual. It's sort of distressing that apparently it's still necessary advice. Actually, moreso, since girls and boys are typically both breadearners nowadays, and yet, it seems, the women are still left to do the cleaning and cooking.
posted by Astro Zombie at 7:45 PM on April 19, 2009


I have a saying: neither noodles nor nookie should ever take longer than two minutes. If they do, you run the risk of moisture evaporation and then little chunks get effectively baked to the inner surface of the receptacle.

In either transaction, at least one party is satisfied.

In case you were thinking, no, it's not mere coincidence that both condom packets and foil flavour sachets are designed exactly the same way and equally difficult to tear open, even with your teeth.

(Protip: put the noodles in the microwave just before intercourse. That way there's a snack waiting for afters.)
posted by turgid dahlia at 7:51 PM on April 19, 2009 [2 favorites]


A 1940s manual would have suggested that the wife clean the house to get the hubby in the mood.
posted by unSane at 7:52 PM on April 19, 2009 [1 favorite]


A 1940s manual would have suggested that you keep your gas masks on even during foreplay.
posted by turgid dahlia at 7:55 PM on April 19, 2009 [1 favorite]


A 1940's marriage manual would have suggested that the wife clean the house. "To"? What has "to" got to do with it? :)
posted by aeschenkarnos at 7:57 PM on April 19, 2009


Her advice for men to get women in the mood: clean the house.

If the advice is for men, then aren't they doing the cleaning?
posted by mrnutty at 8:00 PM on April 19, 2009


Awesome lateral lisp. Really.
posted by NoMich at 8:06 PM on April 19, 2009


This is good advice! Especially for guys (young and old) who get most of their ideas about how sexuality works from watching porn.
posted by hpliferaft at 8:18 PM on April 19, 2009


Myspace-oblique-angle-slimming-photo

aka Internet Disease
posted by Stylus Happenstance at 8:23 PM on April 19, 2009


A 1940s manual would have suggested that you BUY WAR BONDS YOU FILTHY SLUT
posted by Avenger at 8:38 PM on April 19, 2009 [6 favorites]


aka Internet Disease

Yeah, there is no way in hell I'm taking sex advice from someone who obviously has body image issues.
posted by GavinR at 8:41 PM on April 19, 2009


A 1940's marriage manual would have suggested that the wife clean.
posted by WolfDaddy at 8:46 PM on April 19, 2009


A 1940s manual would have suggested a sandwich and a beer.
posted by pntbttr at 8:52 PM on April 19, 2009


A 1940s manual would have run this joke into the ground by now.
posted by nebulawindphone at 9:01 PM on April 19, 2009


A 1940s manual would have celebrated the flogging of the dead horse and attributed it to the superior flogging technique and state-of-the-art flogging equipment of the American G.I.
posted by turgid dahlia at 9:06 PM on April 19, 2009 [2 favorites]


A 1940s Manuel would have owned a tavern in El Paso.
posted by Joey Michaels at 9:10 PM on April 19, 2009 [4 favorites]


A 1940s manual would have celebrated the flogging of the dead horse

Well, whatever cheers up your tingly bits, I guess....
posted by nebulawindphone at 9:13 PM on April 19, 2009


Manuel? I'm so sorry, he's from Barcelona.
posted by turgid dahlia at 9:13 PM on April 19, 2009 [2 favorites]


I'd [like to learn how to] hit it?
posted by Uther Bentrazor at 9:31 PM on April 19, 2009


A 1940s manual would have celebrated the flogging of the dead horse

no, paying for tomato sauce is never a cause for celebration.
posted by UbuRoivas at 11:36 PM on April 19, 2009


A 1940s manual would be smoking two packs of cigarettes a day and drinking lots of coffee.
posted by crapmatic at 11:51 PM on April 19, 2009


A 1940s manual would have no synchro in the transmission, forcing you to double-clutch.
posted by UbuRoivas at 12:00 AM on April 20, 2009 [10 favorites]


I couldn't help watching the cat chilling in the background in the top video. I would try to watch her, but there was a KITTY. She was talking about guys not being able to get it up, and all I could think was that they were self conscious about the cat watching them, possibly judging them, possibly contemplating taking a swat at their bits.

Then at 7:42, the kitty disappears.
posted by louche mustachio at 2:18 AM on April 20, 2009 [2 favorites]


A fat white girl talking about sex- truly, the best of the web.

I guess on the plus side it's a fat white girl talking about sex who isn't playing some fetish/dominatrix/anime/whatever angle.

But on the negative side it's a fat white girl talking about sex.

Sheesh.
posted by hamida2242 at 2:57 AM on April 20, 2009


What have you got against fat white girls? That's the fucking trifecta of racist, sexist, sizism. Sheesh indeed.
posted by RussHy at 3:44 AM on April 20, 2009 [7 favorites]


Well, thank god the first time I had sex it wasn't with someone I wanted to impress, really liked or cared about. Because apparently that can be quite tough.
posted by Sparx at 3:47 AM on April 20, 2009


Why the hate for fat white girls? They're the ones you have to install safety rails on the bed for and make sure you don't have a heart condition...

...because your tingly bits will not only be happy; they'll be well-nigh rocked off.
posted by Mr. Bad Example at 3:53 AM on April 20, 2009 [1 favorite]


Um...why is she telling me to find my cliTAURous? Is it a regional pronunciation of clitoris or some kind of sexy dinosaur?
posted by embrangled at 4:03 AM on April 20, 2009 [1 favorite]


On seeing a couple more videos - yeah, she's obviously trying to grow a business, but why not? It's a good idea. The up-front, matter-of-factness kind of works. I have neither an iPhone nor girl parts so I'm not in the marker for a OHMiBOD, but I am perfectly happy to be told such things exist via her plainspeak.

On preview: pronounciation of clitoris is established regionally to make everyone from outside of that region uncomfortable. Passed into international law by Jerry Seinfeld, whose 'rhymes with Delores' episode squicked out 80% of the developed world.
posted by Sparx at 4:09 AM on April 20, 2009


Obligatory MTSS link.
posted by Thorzdad at 4:35 AM on April 20, 2009


embrangled: You're thinking of the Clitaurasarus, a small pinkish dinosaur that mainly lived underground but would occasionally pop up when something outside its burrow stimulated its interest. Unfortunately it proved far too sensitive for the harsh environment of its day, and went extinct long before the end of the age of dinosaurs.
posted by rusty at 7:02 AM on April 20, 2009 [1 favorite]


> Myspace-oblique-angle-slimming-photo

aka Internet Disease


aka FGAS [NSFAnyone].
posted by rusty at 7:04 AM on April 20, 2009


I can handle the lisp and the big girl boobs piled high and stuffed in my face. What I can't abide by is the bad lighting that suggests she has a John Waters mustache. And thick Canadian accents are as appealing as Gordie Howe farting directly in my face. Soory, I don't want to hear her talk aboat butt plugs.
posted by Mayor Curley at 7:09 AM on April 20, 2009


she really has the Myspace-oblique-angle-slimming-photo down

obnoxious photo montage of someone who is obviously 80 lbs lighter

Internet disease

fat white girl


Well done, Metafilter.
posted by palliser at 7:11 AM on April 20, 2009


A fat white girl talking about sex- truly, the best of the web.


I was going to get all mad about this, and then I realized hamida2242 probably doesn't get laid all that much, if at all.
posted by KokuRyu at 7:31 AM on April 20, 2009 [2 favorites]


good advice, for young adults. If schools did a decent job of sex education (as in more than just, this is how a baby is formed) she'd have no audience though. I know a lady who works with Planned Parenthood and does this sort of stuff face to face with teenagers in the community all the time.

the layout is too Myspacy for my taste, but perhaps that's what the indented audience responds to. And that is fundamentally the important thing. It IS good information but she isn't pitching it towards the jaded-know-it-all Metafilter crowd, so we really aren't the best equipped to offer relevant critiques of it.
posted by edgeways at 7:40 AM on April 20, 2009


We already know how is babby formed.
posted by now i'm piste at 8:02 AM on April 20, 2009


The point isn't that she is fat...the point is that she is one of these annoying MySpace photo filtering angled shot taking idiots who have major issues with their own body image, try to hide it in images, and then she thinks she has some right to teach people about sexuality. She fails from the start by showing you that she is a major fail factor on the internets. The whole thing smacks of what sucks about MySpace. Anyone looking to this person for any kind of serious advice is a moron.
posted by GavinR at 8:21 AM on April 20, 2009


She fails from the start by showing you that she is a major fail factor on the internets.

No, actually, she doesn't. See, she's creating something positive, consistently, and putting it out there, in good faith.

Sitting and leveling dopey non-critiques at someone who has given enough of a shit to make something, that's Metafilter "major fail factor on the internets", you chowderhead.
posted by everichon at 8:30 AM on April 20, 2009 [3 favorites]


The point isn't that she is fat...the point is that she is one of these annoying MySpace photo filtering angled shot taking idiots who have major issues with their own body image, try to hide it in images, and then she thinks she has some right to teach people about sexuality.

Mostly I was struck by the sheer number of commenters who felt they needed to tell everyone how much she weighs.

But since you bring up your own comments: actually, your first comment was that the pics were "false advertising" -- as if she's offering herself up for sex, as opposed to giving advice about sex.

Glad you're going around being concerned for everyone's body image, though. It really speaks well of you, as a person.
posted by palliser at 8:33 AM on April 20, 2009 [1 favorite]


No, it speaks of my ability to be critical of the myspace generation and their horrible fixiation with shopped angled self-photos. It is a really horrible trend in self adulation, and this person is no different. She gives half-ass regurgated sex advice (OOOOHHHH HOW EDGY) and she shows sex toys!!! Wow....maybe if I were a tween with no actual knowledge of human anatomy, I might find this interesting. This isn't the best of the web...and it isn't even close. This is crap, pure and simple. Production values are pure webcam crap. She shows sex toys, oh wow. Again, this is totally just crap. I'm not critical of her weight, but the fact that she isn't even comfortable with her own body yet she is giving advice related to that. Fail, fail, fail, fail, fail, fail. She doesn't even have the number of views to justify her being portrayed as some type of online sensation. This is just bad posting.
posted by GavinR at 8:40 AM on April 20, 2009


Dear god, I just went to her website and it looks like it was coded by a blind drunk monkey who learned html back in 1995.
posted by GavinR at 8:52 AM on April 20, 2009


OH WOW, man! Shes like...soooooo frank and stuff! Shes talkin' bout peenors and vagoos!! This is so new so fresh and hip! She even said the eff word! A bunch! Daaayuuum!

Wow man this is EDGY SHIT!!! This ain't your grandmas youtube!

I liked the part where she started breaking watermelons with a sledgehammer! Kersploosh!
posted by 5imian at 11:58 AM on April 20, 2009


Why are there youtube commenters on metafilter? Did the tubes get switched around?

Anyway, I was skeptical about this not being useless but she gives good solid and sex-positive advice with no-nonsense. She isn't trying to be edgy, funny, or overly cute from what I've seen, just being factual and straightforward about a subject that usually is met with garbage, titters, or misinformation. We may not need another practical sex-columnist, but it certainly couldn't hurt.
posted by Potomac Avenue at 12:39 PM on April 20, 2009 [1 favorite]


I see she's got a vid on dental dams. So do people actually use those for actual oral sex? I've had a long standing theory that 90% of the dental dams sold are used by sex educators for demonstrations. The other 10% are used by dentists.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 12:58 PM on April 20, 2009 [1 favorite]


"Soory, I don't want to hear her talk aboat butt plugs."

So you're saying you don't have a a weird thing for girls who say, "Aboot."?
posted by Mitheral at 1:18 PM on April 20, 2009


the point is that she is one of these annoying MySpace photo filtering angled shot taking idiots who have major issues with their own body image, try to hide it in images, and then she thinks she has some right to teach people about sexuality

I don't understand this critique. I assume you've had photos taken of yourself. I assume you have found some photos more flattering than others. I assume you have more often chosen to display (in whatever form) those photos you consider flattering than those which you consider unflattering. Does this mean you have major issues with your own body image?

The critique of the "MySpace photo" phenomenon is premised on the assumption that people deliberately misrepresent their appearance. But this chick is not misleading you. If she wanted to mislead you, she would not post youtube videos of herself that only work to emphasize the flattering (assuming that is what you consider it) quality of her photos.

(Tangent: I find it curious that the "MySpace photo" phenomenon should irk people so much. The question of "authenticity" in regard to representation on the internet seems to me to be misguided; by the very nature of the medium, you could argue that web forums, blogs, etc. are really just huge agglomerations of various performances of self).


But on the negative side it's a fat white girl talking about sex.

Dude. I expect better of metafilter.

OP, thanks for posting. I think it takes balls to host a series of youtube videos in which you talk frankly about sex, especially if your aim is to educate rather than titillate. I think she's trying to emphasize the educational aspect of her youtube videos by deliberately shunning the makeup and styling that is visible in her photos.
posted by artemisia at 1:38 PM on April 20, 2009 [4 favorites]


GavinR, if body image issues disqualify someone from being able to give advice on sex, you're going to spend a lot of your time with your ears plugged. Some insecurity is a pretty universal human trait.

Her website is pretty 1995, though.
posted by Decimask at 3:05 PM on April 20, 2009


I want to know in what world looking directly into a camera that sits at eye-level counts as MySpace angle.
posted by Pope Guilty at 3:11 PM on April 20, 2009


Pope Guilty: Yeah, I was rhinking of bringing that up too. 1 profile picture vs. 4+ hours of video.
posted by Decimask at 3:16 PM on April 20, 2009


Just chiming in to observe that a lot of people seem really preoccupied with what she looks like and whether what she is doing is novel and don't at all address whether or not she is actually giving people good advice (she is, from what I saw). Really excellent analysis, guys. Did you not know that people who don't have your preferred body type are allowed to have sex, and are sometimes good at it? Wait, wait, she posted flattering photos of herself somewhere? Screw the sex tips, grab the pitchforks and torches!

Seriously, shame on you. She's a human being. Would you say this shit to her face? What if she reads this thread? Shame shame shame.
posted by prefpara at 5:10 PM on April 20, 2009 [2 favorites]


OK: so choosing a Myspace pic that is "photoshopped" is a crime. And it's also a crime to be someone's definition of unattractive on the internet. Oh wait; only if you're a chick. But anyway, how dare she try to present a flattering version of herself, but not be hot enough for you to want to fuck her! The nerve!

Here's a handy tip: if a woman is talking, try responding to what she says, not going on and about your opinion on her fuckability! You see, nobody cares, and it makes you an asshole.

This has been your Humanity 101 lesson for today.
posted by emjaybee at 5:44 PM on April 20, 2009 [12 favorites]


Oh, look, the cavalry. I was wandering through the blue, and all of a sudden I found myself surrounded by people who think there should be a weigh-in before women appear on the Internet. Glad you all showed up.
posted by palliser at 7:06 PM on April 20, 2009


Good post. But yes, the pink, it burns.

One of my severely overweight friends said she was asked quite a bit about the um, logistics of her sex life.

Her standard answer: "Why? Are you afraid I'm having more fun than you?"
posted by lysdexic at 7:51 PM on April 20, 2009


I want people to know what I'm like on the inside. Hence, I have patented the iPod ColonCam.
posted by turgid dahlia at 9:58 PM on April 20, 2009


Any good information presented will be useful.
posted by Saturn XXIII at 7:50 AM on April 21, 2009


The way this post has devolved into a discussion about this person's credentials based on her appearance is embarrassing, but hell, if you need someone to say that, well...and thanks for stepping up, palliser. Seems you're my comrade this week.

I like YouTube videos from random people just getting it out there. I've enjoyed make up tutorials for like-minded tan Asian average janes, rave reviews of Pat Califia's work from gay college dudes that made me smile in recognition, and have a feeling this will be similar.

Anything that reminds me culture, information, and experiences can be transmitted democratically gives me hope for the future, amid the sea of ridiculously meaningless mainstream corporate media.
posted by ifjuly at 5:54 PM on May 10, 2009


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